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How I started to make some changes

B

biggerdandy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 5, 2014
Messages
196
in recent months I've been on here a few times, and I'm glad to say some things are finally starting to change. After some very intense cbt this least 4 months, I've managed to realize something. I worry too much about what others will think of me, and thought their behaviour towards me was about me, when really it was about them.

Too put it in perspective, I saw a doctor (privately I might add) who was clearly in a bad mood this week. My notes mention I have persistant sores and aches, back pain and trouble sleeping. I stretched once in the session with abit of a yawn coming on and she snapped at me

'Am I boring you!' to which I responded with a calm 'if you look at the notes on your screen, it mentions I have sleep problems, sores, which I often stretch to relieve and yawning can be a symptom of anxiety. I am not trying to insinuate you are boring me, I am simply struggling to control some of these symptoms. I mean no disrespect, but please keep in mind, I am the client here.' She looked at me like I had been rude, but she snapped at me for no real reason. Considering it was a paid service, she was out of line, and I managed to chalk it up to her being in a bad mood for one reason or another. The me of the last 18 months would have been really upset for weeks.

Another massie change has been the fact I've managed to move out of a student house and back with my family. One of the housemates was verbally abuse and rude about my transgender identity, calling me 'little (b-word) and (f word), and continued to pick fights. I told my other housemates that despite what they have expressed in words, that isn't normal niggles for people to put up with, thats phobic abuse and I wont stand for it. I have all my stuff back and my keys go in sometime in the next few weeks.

Lastly, and the most important, I have managed by luck of my family talking about a recent hate crime news report in our area, started to educate my mother on trans identity and issues. While I haven't outright come out to her as of yet, she's notably stopped addressing me by male pronouns, and has also started addressing me as 'pretty' instead of 'handsome' which is a massive plus. I think soon I will tell her properly.

Other than that, I've made some lifestyle changes.

- Started regular gentle gym workouts
- Begun yoga to help my sacrolius inflammation
- Change of diet: salad based meal every day, cut back on sugar, no chocolate bars or junk food, fish on most days, higher fibre diet
- Sticking to my MA course as a part timer, giving me 18 months - 2 years of time to learn rather than rush everything into one year
- gotten back into martial arts again (Kung Fu and Karate) but also doing Capoiera as well.
- Since Im back living with family, they are helping me get myself together for the upcoming summer. I'm hoping to get a job after I get a few more modules out of the way.

So things are on the up, and my self harm scars thankfully have prooven shallow enough that they are almost completely gone inless than 18 months
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Even one of those things is really positive, so to have lots of stuff to report that's really excellent news. :)
I'm really pleased for you. I hope things continue to be on the up for you. x
 
V

volnash

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
566
I was particularly happy to read that you're doing martial arts, and going to the gym again i try to follow this too, but on the new medicine regime it's proving harder but possible ive found out, also about hate crimes that is among the worst crimes there is and i had hoped we as a species would have moved past that by now, whether it's to lesbians transgenders or others.

Also happy to hear that you have changed your diet, and regarding the gentle workouts at the gym that is the way to proceed, remember that any activity is much better than nothing, and all hands pull the load and get you in shape, if that's a goal of yours.

Also happy you are back with your family, it's always nice to have the love and support of family around, also i bet your mother is probably easing into your gender as she's calling you pretty etc which is a welcome change aint it?

Also very uncalled for the doctor to snap at you, maybe just having a bad day eh?.

Thanks for a happy thread, enjoyed reading it.
 
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