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how does it always end up being my fault?

  • Thread starter hopeful_and_bipolar
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H

hopeful_and_bipolar

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Why do I get the blame for my episodes when my friends with other issues get let off the hook because of their disorder. I am totally alone, I doth want to see my only friend because its become clear that she doesn't get it and doesn't even want to try to. im so sick and tired of apologising and being alone when others rush to people with anxiety or depression to help and comfort. I feel so low about myself, I feel like a monster and I don't want to see anybody ever again. the only people in my life look at me like im crazy when I "inexplicably" explode or have an episode. I just want to be normal or to even just have depression or anxiety or something else anything else
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Why do I get the blame for my episodes when my friends with other issues get let off the hook because of their disorder. I am totally alone, I doth want to see my only friend because its become clear that she doesn't get it and doesn't even want to try to. im so sick and tired of apologising and being alone when others rush to people with anxiety or depression to help and comfort. I feel so low about myself, I feel like a monster and I don't want to see anybody ever again. the only people in my life look at me like im crazy when I "inexplicably" explode or have an episode. I just want to be normal or to even just have depression or anxiety or something else anything else
I have bipolar also. It can be a lot to live with and very scary. Often I have thought it would be easier to have a different diagnosis...the manias are embarrassing, costly and humiliating and I lose so much. I guess we can stick together in this and offer each other the support and understanding we might not find elsewhere. They might not understand but people here do. :hug:
 
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hopeful_and_bipolar

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I have bipolar also. It can be a lot to live with and very scary. Often I have thought it would be easier to have a different diagnosis...the manias are embarrassing, costly and humiliating and I lose so much. I guess we can stick together in this and offer each other the support and understanding we might not find elsewhere. They might not understand but people here do. :hug:
thamkyou, it really feels like people without bipolar don't even want to understand
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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thamkyou, it really feels like people without bipolar don't even want to understand
Even my parents who are very supportive really don’t get it. For some reason it seems like it’s hard for people to understand....?
 
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hopeful_and_bipolar

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Even my parents who are very supportive really don’t get it. For some reason it seems like it’s hard for people to understand....?
im lucky in that my dad is also bipolar, but it really does feel as though ive been put in a box by outsiders labelled "crazy and unstable do not attempt to interact". I feel like ive tried to explain over and over to my one friend but its like she doesn't listen or care to try to change her behaviour to help me. but she is very quick to expect me to changer for her (which I do)
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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im lucky in that my dad is also bipolar, but it really does feel as though ive been put in a box by outsiders labelled "crazy and unstable do not attempt to interact". I feel like ive tried to explain over and over to my one friend but its like she doesn't listen or care to try to change her behaviour to help me. but she is very quick to expect me to changer for her (which I do)
I get the crazy and unstable label. I feel it from my extended family, people I used to be friendly with and possibly my neighbors. Sometimes I feel like i’m so self conscious about being different this way that I imagine other people to think that crazy unstable avoid thing when they might not. I’m thinking here specifically about neighbors but it also holds me back from meeting new people too. It’s not fair that your friend expects you to change for her when she won’t change. She must be a pretty good friend in other ways for you to put up with that.
 
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hopeful_and_bipolar

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I get the crazy and unstable label. I feel it from my extended family, people I used to be friendly with and possibly my neighbors. Sometimes I feel like i’m so self conscious about being different this way that I imagine other people to think that crazy unstable avoid thing when they might not. I’m thinking here specifically about neighbors but it also holds me back from meeting new people too. It’s not fair that your friend expects you to change for her when she won’t change. She must be a pretty good friend in other ways for you to put up with that.
I don’t know wether she is a good friend or just my only friend, I’m terribly isolated even went to university and still haven’t made a friend. I think I was just holding on because I didn’t want to be alone but maybe it’s better this way
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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I don’t know wether she is a good friend or just my only friend, I’m terribly isolated even went to university and still haven’t made a friend. I think I was just holding on because I didn’t want to be alone but maybe it’s better this way
I get it, I don’t really have any friends at this point, just my parents. And most people aren’t perfect.
It’s good to have people around to be friendly with sometimes even if they aren’t perfect. As long as they bring some good to your life that you would not have had without them....
 
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Metalman5

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I do not have bipolar disorder, but I feel for you. I have schizophrenia and is bad just in other ways. I am still blamed for my last episode which was two years ago and my mother and stepfather still don’t fully trust me. So, I feel you.

I am on better medicine now and rarely hear voices now. But on the previous medicine they were near constant and it eventually stopped working which, triggered my last episode during which I smashed things.

I too get a lot of it’s your fault. I cannot seem to do anything right in my parents eyes. So I feel where your coming from.

all I can say is I hope with time things get better for both of us. Although I have been told time heals many wounds too damn many times!

cheers and good luck!😜
 
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