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How do you respond to a rude homeless person?

R

RoseGoldBoi

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On one hand I want to understand their resentment to society and on the other I don't want to let them get away with speaking to me the way they did. I have come from a poor family myself, not claiming its just as bad as being homeless but my sibling & I ran away from home into the city without a place to stay for a week. Low income housing, so not some privileged middle/high class citizen.
This one homeless lady with a sign asked if I had a lighter and I said "I don't, I'm sorry" and she snapped back "You don't need to smoke to have a lighter!".
Most homeless people around where I'm from are polite, it was just this 1 person.
 
Amorerose

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I wouldn't take it personally. She probably isn't in a good mind set generally, so she snaps. I would just ignore her and tell her to leave me alone if she was bothering me. She's probably struggling and takes it out when she can't find any relief, hence wanting a lighter to smoke or whatever. But I don't let mean people get to me easily and it's good to stand up for yourself or to act kind because some people just need a little kindness.
 
vanish

vanish

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Being a formerly homeless person living rough, I find rudeness deplorable no matter who you are or where you come from. Yes she might have some underlying issues, but that is no reason to lash out. I once had a man outside a train station ask me for $5 to buy a meal. I said better than that, come with me and I'll buy you a meal. He abused me and screamed at me that he'd rather the money. Needless to say I then told him to not look a gift horse in the mouth and walked off. I think he was collecting money off strangers to buy drugs instead.
 
daffy

daffy

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I watched a programme called 60 days on the streets and it was a real eye opener. That chap went out with no money or support and live with the homeless. In most cities he only found 2 or 3 genuinely homeless . Most had rooms or flats or a hostel to go home to. And they all wanted money for drugs. One person even had his ‘work’ wardrobe and his ‘normal ‘ wardrobe. In Glasgow they had large halls allocated for the homeless and no one was needed to sleep on the streets. The fella doing the programme said he actually put weight on in the two months cos he had so much food given, but he was also attacked but that was by other people begging.
There is a lady by my local Aldi I don’t think she’s homeless cos she’s pretty well dressed but she’s probably short of money and she plays the accordion really well and I always give to her and at Christmas I always give her a fiver.
 
megirl

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I know there are homeless people here also
I had no idea they exist in one of our cities and on oneb
 
vanish

vanish

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I was genuinely homeless (sleeping rough) and with no income at all. In my country to have a welfare benefit you need a home address or place of abode. Shelters are often full to overflowing and you have to often travel (at your own cost) to a shelter in another town. Not easy with no money. You sleep in safe places like botanical gardens and parks with surveillance during the day and stay awake at night for safety during the night. It was horrible and wouldn’t wish genuine homelessness upon my mortal enemy.
 
megirl

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I wouldn't wish homelessness on anyone
 
Flameheart

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there could be several reasons as to why she lashed out, I doubt any of them are personal to you, that's just how some people react when things haven't been going well for them in a long time, I know I've lashed out at people and I always regret it because that's not who I truly am
 
midnightphoenix

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there could be several reasons as to why she lashed out, I doubt any of them are personal to you, that's just how some people react when things haven't been going well for them in a long time, I know I've lashed out at people and I always regret it because that's not who I truly am
Even so, lashing out at someone for not having a lighter seems a bit extreme to me imo.

apart from smokers, nobody else i know carries a lighter around in their pocket. :unsure:
 
Flameheart

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Even so, lashing out at someone for not having a lighter seems a bit extreme to me imo.

apart from smokers, nobody else i know carries a lighter around in their pocket. :unsure:
yeah it was definitely uncalled for and im not excusing her behaviour, just saying people can react like that for different reasons even if it seems insignificant
 
midnightphoenix

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I was genuinely homeless (sleeping rough) and with no income at all. In my country to have a welfare benefit you need a home address or place of abode. Shelters are often full to overflowing and you have to often travel (at your own cost) to a shelter in another town. Not easy with no money. You sleep in safe places like botanical gardens and parks with surveillance during the day and stay awake at night for safety during the night. It was horrible and wouldn’t wish genuine homelessness upon my mortal enemy.
Are you safe now, vanish? :hug:
 
vanish

vanish

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Oh yes Midnight, I live with my wife and her mother now. Now that it’s Winter here, I really feel for our homeless population. I’m safe and loved.
 
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George10111

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I've found that people who are rude have a very deep insecurity inside. We all have these to one degree or another as human beings but some have very deep injuries inside. If someone genuinely thinks they're better then you they know deep down, even if they don't know on the surface, that it is because of their own pain or their own shortcoming. Try to put yourself in other's shoes. I know its so much harder done then said. Often times its because people are angry at themselves that they get angry at you. People see in other people what they don't like about themselves. That's why strangers can be such a**holes.

The other day I was confronted and attacked by a few construction men for *almost* driving somewhere I shouldn't have. I simply pulled up and asked if I could go there and they wouldn't even let me get a damn word out. They just started yelling at me and making personal hate comments saying I'm stupid and that I look like shit, etc. I was pissed about that for a few days after but I realized they can't hate who they don't know. They work long hard hours in the blazing hot sun all day, wearing thick orange clothes. Still not even listening to me and just yelling at me was uncalled for. I shouldn't have done this but I drove through and kicked gravel in their faces with my back wheels and swore at them. I say this because I'm not going to lie and say I was the bigger man and walked away humble. That's just an example.

Sorry this is a long answer I hope it helps. Remember hurt people hurt people.
 
HauntedWitch

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I've found that people who are rude have a very deep insecurity inside. We all have these to one degree or another as human beings but some have very deep injuries inside. If someone genuinely thinks they're better then you they know deep down, even if they don't know on the surface, that it is because of their own pain or their own shortcoming.
Sometimes yes, if talking about someone you see every day who is habitually hard on you. In regard to rude strangers, what you said above would be overthinking things for me. They don't know me; I don't know them, so I can't get inside their heads to see what's going on. I think most of the time people don't realize they've hurt or offended someone. And people in pain will lash out, without thinking. There's also the fact that we live in a ruder more aggressive culture these days.
 
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