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How do you react when someone pulling away

U

Until

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Feb 11, 2020
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183
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uk
If you feel that someone wants to end the relationship with you or that they are pulling away.

How do you react to that?

I start to feel panic or start thinking what did i do wrong and over analyzing everything.

I can then start to think of any reason i can contact them, even just a message of anything i can think of just to see if i get a response. If it takes a long time for a reply, then i really start to think they are pulling away and can't rest until they reply. the fear of abandonment or rejection.
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

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If you feel that someone wants to end the relationship with you or that they are pulling away.

How do you react to that?

I start to feel panic or start thinking what did i do wrong and over analyzing everything.

I can then start to think of any reason i can contact them, even just a message of anything i can think of just to see if i get a response. If it takes a long time for a reply, then i really start to think they are pulling away and can't rest until they reply. the fear of abandonment or rejection.
there is 8 billion people in the world. i only need a few friends so that means i have to reject 7.99 billion
 
HLon99

HLon99

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Apr 15, 2020
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Calmly. Try and think about the situation using your gut and your reason rather than a flurry of wild emotions.

First off, people come and go from our lives on a regular basis, its normal. Most will come back to us unless we have unfairly injured them in some way.

Second, if you genuinely believe that someone is aching to permenatly move away from you, ask yourself. Have you treated them unfairly in any way, for which you have not apologised? If so, show them that you are willing to make amends, always with deeds and not words.

If not, then they are choosing to leave you of their own volition. The reason for this is often multifacited and complex. It may be that they need to take some time off to deal with some personal problems that they may be having. It may be that they need to dedicate their time to other people in their life etc etc. In any case it is well within their right to do so.

The key to building relationships with other people is to look beyond yourself and your little world and be able to understand and respect the motives of other people, provided they are just and fair.

I know this is easier said than done for someone with BPD, but with time, with therapy and with willpower you will be able to overcome this. In any case, you must learn to treat both yourself and the people in your life equitably.
 
J

JeanPierre

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Jan 4, 2021
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Location
Southern USA
As Hlon99 said;
Use logic instead of emotions.

I hear you though. It is horrible to think constantly that a good thing is going to go bad at any second. That's from your childhood. Look at it and let it go.
Best luck.
 
MoonShapedPool

MoonShapedPool

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Location
Lancashire
Calmly. Try and think about the situation using your gut and your reason rather than a flurry of wild emotions.

First off, people come and go from our lives on a regular basis, its normal. Most will come back to us unless we have unfairly injured them in some way.

Second, if you genuinely believe that someone is aching to permenatly move away from you, ask yourself. Have you treated them unfairly in any way, for which you have not apologised? If so, show them that you are willing to make amends, always with deeds and not words.

If not, then they are choosing to leave you of their own volition. The reason for this is often multifacited and complex. It may be that they need to take some time off to deal with some personal problems that they may be having. It may be that they need to dedicate their time to other people in their life etc etc. In any case it is well within their right to do so.

The key to building relationships with other people is to look beyond yourself and your little world and be able to understand and respect the motives of other people, provided they are just and fair.

I know this is easier said than done for someone with BPD, but with time, with therapy and with willpower you will be able to overcome this. In any case, you must learn to treat both yourself and the people in your life equitably.
I am saving this!Wise words indeed,Thanks! 🙏
 
M

Marianda

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Nov 18, 2019
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Location
South America
I would say just let it go. If someone does not want to stick around you, there is no reason to insist.
 
G

Girl interupted

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Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
2,291
I am swayed by the time invested.

Rather I used to let that convince me to stay in something that wasn't working.

Consider it them doing you a favor rather than abandonment.

Then move on to something that isn't a daily struggle, and where you feel supported.

When you are in the middle of it, that will feel like horrible advice. But outside it will make sense.
 
I

itsmeagain

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 25, 2010
Messages
902
Location
england
If you feel that someone wants to end the relationship with you or that they are pulling away.

How do you react to that?

I start to feel panic or start thinking what did i do wrong and over analyzing everything.

I can then start to think of any reason i can contact them, even just a message of anything i can think of just to see if i get a response. If it takes a long time for a reply, then i really start to think they are pulling away and can't rest until they reply. the fear of abandonment or rejection.
I used to get that too.
But no longer as am happy in marriage.
 
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