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How do you overcome BPD?

F

fluffpill

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Apr 20, 2020
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640
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canada
How do you stop doing the things that BPD makes you do automatically?
does anybody know why it gets better with age? how can i fast forward it to get better now instead of waiting for years to make it better?
 
W

WhySoSerious

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Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
382
Location
UK
I tend to find DBT type skills to be the most effective but it takes a HUGE amount of time and effort and not simply a case of taking a pill and things get better. From my experience BPD tends to at least mildly ease off over time in terms of the intensity of the emotions. That said some people's emotionality doesn't shift much at all. I find many older people with BPD tend to "burn out" rather than anything else.

Good luck! Look at DBT skills and maybe research mentalisation.
 
B

Blackwolf

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Joined
Dec 27, 2020
Messages
86
Location
Poland
I think best way to start is to take a deep breath before taking an emotional action. Also learning about yourself and "those things" help. I think it is easier for me to control since I know how I react etc, because many times I can react before something happens
 
F

fluffpill

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 20, 2020
Messages
640
Location
canada
I tend to find DBT type skills to be the most effective but it takes a HUGE amount of time and effort and not simply a case of taking a pill and things get better. From my experience BPD tends to at least mildly ease off over time in terms of the intensity of the emotions. That said some people's emotionality doesn't shift much at all. I find many older people with BPD tend to "burn out" rather than anything else.

Good luck! Look at DBT skills and maybe research mentalisation.
what do you mean they "burn out"? do they get tired of their own emotions/behaviour?
 
HLon99

HLon99

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
649
Location
London, UK
There are no shortcuts in life, getting better is a process. Get a sense of where you want to be in life and then set yourself short-medium term goals and work daily to achieve them. I'm not BPD, but I've struggled with being impulsivity in my time. It can be difficult to control your urges, but not impossible. BPD or not, we all have some capacity for self control, the key is to train yourself to exercise it.
 
N

Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
3,366
Location
London, ON
Getting better means, for me, training myself not to act on emotions until I think through the consequences of acting.

I know that sounds simple and easy, but it's not. It's hard. It takes effort, the kind of effort you would use to learn a new profession or to excel in a new sport.

for me, it took group therapy for DBT, personal therapy at the same time, and CBT training. I'd say it was 5 years for me to see real progress. Plus, I use meds to help.

10 years later, things are noticably better, meltdown, etc, are fairly rare. Still have bad periods, but I can minimize the bad effects of those now.
 
C

celticlass

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Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
915
Location
Scotland
Well it is my view, and it is not a popular one, that this diagnosis is based on how the individual handles life stressors, relationships and emotions. That is why people say it gets better with age because those affected are enabled to gain insight and develop new ways of being in the world. Past mistakes are gradually not repeated. Quite a proportion of those being diagnosed BPD have experienced trauma or at least poor and inconsistent care in terms of their emotions. A child learns to handle their own feelings by copying their parents. They also take in how the parent is or is not there for them, soothing them when they are small etc. This is enabling the child to take control of their own internal feelings. The child needs to be able to identify what they are feeling and why in order to know what to do [about the feeling}. I have a good few BPD traits. It an area of debate whether or not BPD is fundamentally different to other mental illnesses or not. Not going there. I just hope those living with it get to a better place. Same as the rest of us.
 
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