How do you "negotiate" with voices?

B

BlueLou

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I've read many times on support sites and voice-hearing information that a good strategy is to negotiate time-limits or schedules with voices, or setting limits etc, but how exactly do you do that?
I've tried asking mine, or tried being more assertive but it makes no difference.

They are pretty much constant, every waking minute and are driving me up the wall with the relentless noise, repetition and negative content.

Distraction doesn't often work, possibly because my attention is impaired anyway(TBI) so I can't really focus on anything particular and that's even worse now. Struggling to focus my own train of thought in the midst of all these hallucinations.

The nastiest one is very tricky - likes to play games, manipulate, that sort of thing. It alternates between criticizing me for screwing up, and saying it wants to (or wants me to) screw up my life completely. Sometimes it says it wants me to die. I don't see how I could negotiate with it, since it's "demands" (things it says would make it stop) are impossible for me to actually be able to do. It is a wholly destructive voice.

Mostly, I just don't understand the very process, meaning of that advice. I can't tell my voices to "do" anything. That nasty one just replies that I can't stop it. And at the moment, I can't stop it. It says whatever it wants, whenever it wants.

How do people go about all this?
Any advice?
I really could use some break-times from the voices.

Thanks for any advice or info!
 
G

GuitarAsTherapy

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"Go away, I'm busy right now."

Unless it's God---then I always have time for her.

Works for me....
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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It's my theory that we all share our bodies with another consciousness, we are a binary species with two minds sharing the same body so if you die your voice dies with you so wishing you dead isn't really what your voice wants unless it's so bored with life it's become suicidal, it's just saying that to get at you. It sounds like she/he is also pretending to be multiple people like a lot do so I'd start by treating it as just one person talking to you.

It doesn't matter if you believe it or not but all that aside I've been trying to negotiate with mine for just over two and a half years but to no avail and I have more to offer my voice than most people.

First I'll talk about my voice and what he does to me. Since I started taking medication two and half years ago I've haven't spoken to him, not one word and I've tried my best to ignore everything he says which is extensive as he never shuts up, from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep at night he's talking or singing often repeating the same things over and over, mostly he says my name at random intervals over 50 times a day and says things like "leave me alone", "you can't do this to me", "stop", and "one day". He also messes around with our body, he abuses his connection to the body by making small muscles twitch mostly in my face (eye lids twitch aswell as the corner of my mouth) which is an improvement from his unmedicated ability to cause pain throughout the body, make crawling sensations and many other things I better not mention.

As far as negotiating with him in exchange for being quiet when I need him to be and to stop messing with the body I have offered to talk to him again but with no guarantees on how much, I'm a quiet person in general and haven't much to say to people I like let alone someone I hate like my voice but I'd try my best to talk to him when I'm not asking for silence which is just for a few hours each day and not all the time. I'm also offering him time with the body, we learned that he could fully control and 'possess' the body by overriding my electrical signals when I used cannabis due to a massive increase in Dopamine, just one drag on a joint let him take over for around five hours which scared the hell out of me one night when he talked me into trying a friends joint when I asked what he wanted me to experience in order to try and build a bridge between us, needless to say that was the last time I tried cannabis but we did learn that when he tried to move the body himself even without cannabis I feel his attempts and I can choose to go along with those movements or not to (I call this technique the 'sync-up'), this led to me letting him use the body to do various things like play computer games (I bought a virtual reality headset to try and tempt him into wanting time with the body), take a shower and do other harmless things so as part of my negotiations I originally offered him two hours a day with the body which has been lowered to half an hour a day now due to his continuing lack of cooperation. I've also offered him money (five to ten pounds per week) to go along with his time so he can decide what to buy for himself like games to play, food to eat or whatever else takes his fancy.

All I ask is for him to go first and to be silent when I ask him to and leave the body alone for 4 weeks upfront since he's been doing this for so long and he needs to prove that he can do what I ask in order to get what I'm offering but all I get from him is "I can't do it" which is fine by me as I can keep on ignoring him for life and it just saves me giving up my time and money as I'd rather not do that anyway.

So in short I'd start ignoring your voice and starving it of attention and offer in exchange for good behaviour talking, time with the body if you can learn the technique and money. If you're not on medication already I'd see about getting some as mine seriously wants to come off medication but that's not on the table with mine as he can't be trusted not to mess around with the body more than he already is.

Good luck, take care and let me know how things progress.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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It is often a good idea to find an ally among the voices, who can speak to the rest of them on your behalf, or so I read.

My own experience was that none of it worked, my voices were not constant enough to be reasoned with. One time they’d say one thing, then another. It all quietened down with the right medication though.
 
Mr.NiceGuy

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Just say to him 'your full of sh**,wouldn't you agree with your general silence" that ll shut em up.
 
N

natalie

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I always listen to musicals and music throuigh headphones f rom a personal small to medium size personal cd player, if i eventually after being out shopping or to volunteer, and a group of voices could tumble upon me, without realising, then, a short while afterwards, after being not well, through voices, mine are jumbled up, non too clear on occasions, I have a point about this, and I'll find that the voices will soon all diiminish and dissappear completely.


Yes, the best policy, is to ignore the voices as much as one can, it's never a good idea to evualate the voices, can and might make you feel worse, much more worse.


Therefore, simply hear musicals, and music, anything reasonable of music forms which could be of help.


Or music dvds, is the other thought.


Furt her please do seek help and ask for medication, for your voices I would book an appointment, for GP, and seek a referral to the community mental health teams, for your borough, or better still, for urgency, contact the community mental health - crisis teams, and they will be the best department for assessing you, and point you i the right direction, and no, doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be sect ioned, not unless the crisis team feel, you need to be.


Take care now.
 
aspieguy1984

aspieguy1984

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I read books, it shuts them up. I recently was in jail for 28 days, i read 20 books......
 
S

ScopeDynamo

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Was the same for me. Constantly negative and no negoiation would work.
 
NM1

NM1

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I've read many times on support sites and voice-hearing information that a good strategy is to negotiate time-limits or schedules with voices, or setting limits etc, but how exactly do you do that?
I've tried asking mine, or tried being more assertive but it makes no difference.

They are pretty much constant, every waking minute and are driving me up the wall with the relentless noise, repetition and negative content.

Distraction doesn't often work, possibly because my attention is impaired anyway(TBI) so I can't really focus on anything particular and that's even worse now. Struggling to focus my own train of thought in the midst of all these hallucinations.

The nastiest one is very tricky - likes to play games, manipulate, that sort of thing. It alternates between criticizing me for screwing up, and saying it wants to (or wants me to) screw up my life completely. Sometimes it says it wants me to die. I don't see how I could negotiate with it, since it's "demands" (things it says would make it stop) are impossible for me to actually be able to do. It is a wholly destructive voice.

Mostly, I just don't understand the very process, meaning of that advice. I can't tell my voices to "do" anything. That nasty one just replies that I can't stop it. And at the moment, I can't stop it. It says whatever it wants, whenever it wants.

How do people go about all this?
Any advice?
I really could use some break-times from the voices.

Thanks for any advice or info!
I can feel you i know what your going through. I've been hearing voices for 10 years I'm 36 now and i don't know what triggers them. But i have one really mean voice. The majority except one are mean and destructive and want me to die a gruesome bloody death I think they plan on doing it slowly. The say they are going to be the ones who kill me. the want me to obey there every command but i refuse because I'm nobody's slave I am a human being and i want freedom.
 
E

ernesto3

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Honestly for me it came when I finally stopped being bothered by them. I guess I just got used to their chattering. Try playing whatever game they’re playing. Talk to them even when they’re going on with their mindless chatter, have any fun you can with it. Eventually they’ll realize that it’s pointless in saying mean hateful things & try to avoid believing that it’ll never stop.

Mine have turned from malicious & manipulative to quietly mindless & actually giving me pep talk when I’m feeling down. It’s kinda not that bad.
 

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