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How do you live happy when you know its all temporary?

M

mozad

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Apr 17, 2015
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After some experiences following some sudden deaths in my near family a couple of years ago I started thinking about death. My own death and maybe most importantly that of my family and loved ones. I'm so afraid. Literally over night I went from being a happy person to being depressed and with extreme anxiety. It has been 2 years now and this depression has destroyed my career and personality. I don't know who I am anymore. No matter how much I try, I just can't see the point. I keep asking myself how people can live happily when they know that everything is so temporary. I feel like I'm in a time machine and years feel like weeks. Some times I wish I was religious because it would make things so much easier to know that its not the end. But I'm not. I have spoken my GP and a psychologist about all of this a few times 6 months in to my depression, but for some reason when I had the chance I pretended that I was fine and had gotten over it. I am taking care of some one in my near family who is also depressed (I suspect some of mine may have come from trying to help them). So I have noone that I can openly talk to. I realise that I am not alone in having a depression but my mind keeps telling me that my depression is not cureable because my reason is death and the thought of everything being temporary. I mean what is the doctor going to do? Make me and my family imortal? I feel like an alien on earth when I see people smile and be happy. By now those emotions have become alien to me. I have thought about suicide alot and how and when I will do it. I am not going to do it while I still have relations with my family, but its the idea of doing it one day that keeps me going right now. Even if its decades from now. How do people live? Did anyone else here have a depression of this nature?
 
BillFish

BillFish

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I keep asking myself how people can live happily when they know that everything is so temporary. I feel like I'm in a time machine and years feel like weeks.
Suffering from I’m the only one syndrome?”. It’s one level of consciousness to stand on your porch and gaze at the stars in wonder at the universe, but it’s another leap in thinking to be aware that at any second during the day, there are 100,000’s of people stood on their porches gazing at the stars, wondering the same thing.

The same applies to mental illness, I think many of us don’t acknowledge that there are millions of people like us affected with mental illnesses such as depression.Think about it, one in four? That’s one in four personally affected, but millions more friends, colleagues, and family members affected by the connectionas well. With a population of 70 million? One in four? You do the math.

It’s easy to fall into the mode of thinking that you are experiencing this in isolation, based on a skewed perception of society. Even the most successful people you see around you enjoying their lives face dementia and cancer in later years, in 40 years time they may be very vulnerable people, very different to the front they portray today.

Millions of people have family members and friends that suffer from mental illness. As with the analogy of gazing at the stars, millions of us have challenges stresses and traumatic experiences etc. You are one of millions of people asking the same questions about life every second of the day. The best life strategy is to live life as best you can whilst you can, life really is very short, just a blip in time, and to discard the notion that you are the only one.:peace:

 
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Kerome

Kerome

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Sep 29, 2013
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It sounds like you're in a bit of an existential crisis about death, which led to your depression, exacerbated by caring for other depressed people (depression is contagious). Which you already knew.

But you're in luck. I'd recommend you start reading up on near death experiences, and on non local consciousness. There has been a lot of thinking around this subject the last few years, and collecting of people's experiences. It seems death is not the end after all - for real - perhaps these things will help you accept that. It's worth investigating, many people find it inspirational to see these people speak. There is a lot of material on YouTube and on TED as well.

Whether that will put an end to your depression I do not know, but it may lift some of the weight off your shoulders. Beyond that you need to be aware that depression comes from your ideas of the future, so things like a lack of career and so on can affect things as well, you should look for what makes you feel hopeful.

Then you need to protect your own hopeful impulses from the depression and negativity of others -- depressed people tend to beat up on anything good you try to give them, which is not good for how you feel. I suggest giving yourself some room, with depressed friends I try not to see them every day but instead see them every two or three days, and not give them a chance of beating up on my hopes but instead try and hold up a mirror for their hopes and maintain that these things are temporary.

I hope that helps a little, anyway. Best of luck ;)
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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I'm sorry to hear about your depression and thoughts. Everything is temporary in the sense that all living things are born and then die. But it's what we do with that time that is given to us that really counts. If we can accept birth and death, if we can accept that we all have a limited amount of time and if we can finally accept that what we do with that, is what counts, then you may well find some inner peace.

Even the earth will not exist one day, even our sun will die one day, even this universe may not exist one day.
It's easy for me to say but try to focus on the here and now, and on the future. You've got your whole life ahead of you. We can never give up. Life and time will continue to move forward and so will you.
 
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