How do you keep it together?

T

TooMuchPain

Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2019
Messages
24
Location
Ontario
#1
I honestly try and be the best person I can. The last thing I ever want to do is take advantage of someone. But as I get older my willingness to eat shit has significantly dropped. I know I’m a difficult person. I don’t have one person in my life. If they didn’t leave me. I pushed them away. I push them away because maintenance of the friendship becomes more stressful than loneliness. I’m a difficult person.

For years now I’ve been trying (and failing) to embrace the loneliness.

I’m at a point in my life where all my free time is spent trying to keep it together enough so it dosent effect my job. I’m scared because currently it’s a battle I’m slowly losing. I’m not someone who needs a lot of money. But I think everyone agrees that employment is better than unemployment.

Is it possible to keep it together in a world full of people that can’t see you?
 
J

Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
410
Location
Florida
#2
yeap er. You can do it. something must have you down and out right now. You do not have to be mentally sick to know this is a hard world to get through.

I always think back to Centuries ago and how people had to live. I am poor but not oppressed right now. No ones coming to my house demanding my food or belongings. I guess Taxes has replaced this method.

Hang in there Life is a roller coaster and you have to hold on tight as a friend once told me.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
203
#3
Find a hobby or drop in group where you don’t have to stay long, but you can interact with people until you start to feel stronger.

A book club is a good way to start if you like reading.

The relationships there will be superficial, but they will help ease you into something simple like having a conversation about a set topic.

Most of all, be kind to yourself. Relationships are hard for bpd, but it takes two to have a relationship and the other person isn’t always perfect either.
 
Poppy2014

Poppy2014

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 16, 2015
Messages
651
Location
yorkshire
#5
Hi
You are at the point of self recognition, if is possible now would be the time to find a decent counsellor and stick it out there.

However there is help Immediately while you are in work. If you are UK based its called access to work (it's done by remploy). You can contact them, just Google access to work mental health support.
I had Liam who worked with me for 6 months, I saw him every fortnight and headphones me the other week to make sure I was okay.
He helped me source other support for the short term until therapy started.
 
R

Ramson bangers

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
513
Location
England
#6
I like the term 'keeping it all together' its something im working on, as the results of the opposite have hit me hard. Sometimes we carry too much anyway and need some help.
 
J

Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
410
Location
Florida
#7
Tomuchpain Turmoil has a way of being in our life. I feel your pain. Hang in there-not much else to do.Push forward and much luck to you and yours
 
J

JustCoping

New member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
1
Location
UK
#8
I honestly try and be the best person I can. The last thing I ever want to do is take advantage of someone. But as I get older my willingness to eat shit has significantly dropped. I know I’m a difficult person. I don’t have one person in my life. If they didn’t leave me. I pushed them away. I push them away because maintenance of the friendship becomes more stressful than loneliness. I’m a difficult person.

For years now I’ve been trying (and failing) to embrace the loneliness.

I’m at a point in my life where all my free time is spent trying to keep it together enough so it dosent effect my job. I’m scared because currently it’s a battle I’m slowly losing. I’m not someone who needs a lot of money. But I think everyone agrees that employment is better than unemployment.

Is it possible to keep it together in a world full of people that can’t see you?
Hey TooMuchPain. I feel for you as this could've been written by me as I'm going through similar struggles with relationships and work. Hang in there - you're not alone!
 
J

Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
410
Location
Florida
#9
I too feel the same and do the same thing-push people away including my family.

I have severe psychosis and withdraw from others and family is major cause


Oh and forget the stupid telephone drives me nutso.
 
E

EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
147
Location
USA
#10
Well for one you’ve reached out here. That’s good, right? I agree with finding a laid back club or something. That’s a goal I have for myself too. When you feel like you can’t keep it together, try meditating. Remind yourself, “I don’t have to worry about this right now” and focus on feeling your feet on the floor, your breath, and what is actually there with you in the present. There are good books on the topic. I like the attached.
 

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blknbrdrline

blknbrdrline

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
11
Location
Oakland, CA, USA
#11
I honestly try and be the best person I can. The last thing I ever want to do is take advantage of someone. But as I get older my willingness to eat shit has significantly dropped. I know I’m a difficult person. I don’t have one person in my life. If they didn’t leave me. I pushed them away. I push them away because maintenance of the friendship becomes more stressful than loneliness. I’m a difficult person.

For years now I’ve been trying (and failing) to embrace the loneliness.

I’m at a point in my life where all my free time is spent trying to keep it together enough so it dosent effect my job. I’m scared because currently it’s a battle I’m slowly losing. I’m not someone who needs a lot of money. But I think everyone agrees that employment is better than unemployment.

Is it possible to keep it together in a world full of people that can’t see you?
I definitely understand “maintenance of the friendship becomes more stressful than loneliness.” I felt the same about my friendships.

As far as work, I say commend yourself for being able to go in to work.

That’s big.

I know you don’t know me, but I’m here to listen if you want to talk.
 
P

Phosphorous

New member
Joined
Mar 4, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Scotland
#12
I honestly try and be the best person I can. The last thing I ever want to do is take advantage of someone. But as I get older my willingness to eat shit has significantly dropped. I know I’m a difficult person. I don’t have one person in my life. If they didn’t leave me. I pushed them away. I push them away because maintenance of the friendship becomes more stressful than loneliness. I’m a difficult person.

For years now I’ve been trying (and failing) to embrace the loneliness.

I’m at a point in my life where all my free time is spent trying to keep it together enough so it dosent effect my job. I’m scared because currently it’s a battle I’m slowly losing. I’m not someone who needs a lot of money. But I think everyone agrees that employment is better than unemployment.

Is it possible to keep it together in a world full of people that can’t see you?


I don’t have an answer but I can totally relate to everything you say 😢
 
L

Lonely Planet

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 26, 2019
Messages
54
Location
UK
#13
I’m at a point in my life where all my free time is spent trying to keep it together enough so it dosent effect my job. I’m scared because currently it’s a battle I’m slowly losing.
This was me over the past 6 months.
Is taking sick leave an option?
I'm afraid that's what I have ended up doing, then upping the meds and working hard with therapy.
I hope to be going back to work next week.
Although I've felt really guilty about being off work and feel like everyone thinks I'm skiving, I'm starting to think it was the right thing to do and I might be able to cope again