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How do you get over ptsd when what your scared of happening is really happening?

K

KeepFighting22

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I've had this for 9 years and it all started after I was bullied in 7th grade. I'm 22 years old now and it has basically taken away my young life. Though, I do still get treated like an outcast. I feel like everyone I meet hates me. I am socially awkward, never learned how to get rid of that, but I dont think people can hate you for that. (Whenever I say something there's this long awkward silence, it only happens to me and with it happening so much, you're obviously gonna start to think something is wrong with you. I've actually heard people make fun of me behind my back before too.) At this point, i don't feel like it's in my head. (I don't think it ever was, but how do you get over ptsd when what your scared of happening is actually happening??)

Whenever I'm in town or in the store, I do put on this "don't mess with me attitude" and I'm wondering if that's what causes people to make fun of me or be against me because I come off as rude or mean to others. (Which I don't intend to do) They just attack my personality, interests, appearance. Anything of that nature, just personal stuff. They seem to not like me at all.

No one does. The thing is, I want to move out (because of toxicity in my home) , but am still really scared of people. I never get along with them because of what I hear them say about me. What do I do? I've tried to stop caring, but it never works. I'm always overtaken by fear and worry that I'm actually what they say I am and everyone is watching me. I do get stared at alot! The fear is crippling.

I'm constantly in my head about what others think of me, but with ptsd, you can't just get rid of the petrifying fear. What treatment do I get for this anyway? Im gonna find a new counselor, my current is not helping me.

I've tried reminding myself, "what they say about you is none of your business", "what they say about you is none of your business!", but, it doesn't work because the fear comes flooding right back! And it's too much to handle because it's so crippling. I basically ran away from life and never learned to develop proper social skills, so I do come off as rude when I don't know it's polite or impolite to do something or say a certain thing or not say it or do it.

I basically didn't go back to school for the rest of school. Never went to high-school. So I developed social anxiety on top of that.
 
Bod

Bod

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TOTALLY FANTASTIC
I am sorry you were bullied and relate to that as the mental stae it puts us in for so many many years in our lives are sadly gone. My dad always said to me STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT NAMES WILL NEVER HURT ME, it's easy to say but very bloody hard to do.
 
K

KeepFighting22

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I am sorry you were bullied and relate to that as the mental stae it puts us in for so many many years in our lives are sadly gone. My dad always said to me STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT NAMES WILL NEVER HURT ME, it's easy to say but very bloody hard to do.
Thank you! I agree! It's really difficult!
 
Bod

Bod

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It is not an easy thing to actually think when we are getting bullied as everything goes out of our heads sadly, so even though it is so hard try and laugh at the bullies in your mind and think W*****s.
 
MissPink

MissPink

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Trauma is not easy to let go of or get rid of. You just have to accept yourself a bit more and learn how to cope and manage mentally, if medicine helps you then go for it if not try cbt or breathing techniques to cope with the stress x
 
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BlueWater

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Traumas from 30 years ago stayed near the surface and made me depressed and angry. My doc gave me a mood stabilizer for this. It has quieted long ago triggering memories so that pretty often they are kind of faint. More recent ones still linger near the surface. But now I'm not as rude and don't start as many arguments as I used to. I don't have the kind of social anxiety where I fear meeting people, but the longer I've known someone the more I fear them deceiving and betraying me. That's a deep-seated fear that goes back to childhood from having a dysfunctional extended family. I'm in CBT and slowly working through all of this, one relationship and one memory at a time, but I couldn't do it without meds. I take anxiety medication everyday, too.
 
K

KeepFighting22

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Traumas from 30 years ago stayed near the surface and made me depressed and angry. My doc gave me a mood stabilizer for this. It has quieted long ago triggering memories so that pretty often they are kind of faint. More recent ones still linger near the surface. But now I'm not as rude and don't start as many arguments as I used to. I don't have the kind of social anxiety where I fear meeting people, but the longer I've known someone the more I fear them deceiving and betraying me. That's a deep-seated fear that goes back to childhood from having a dysfunctional extended family. I'm in CBT and slowly working through all of this, one relationship and one memory at a time, but I couldn't do it without meds. I take anxiety medication everyday, too.
Woah! You sound just like me! The fear of people betraying is real! Maybe not literally, but it resonates so much! The rudness, i have it and it makes me feel like a bad person. I want to change, but ive tried every med. One that really worked with ptsd and paranoia was the white tablets i took. I keep forgetting their name!!! Im gonna get back on it with a med for bipolar in general! U was so calm and felt like myself again! I just hope i dont gain weight.

I forgot to say, im really sorry you went through 30 years of that. Its hell! So much anxiety! Ive actually had anxiety with different things as a child. It was the one emotion thst never stopped plagueing me because whrn i grew up, it followed me, just manifesting in social situations and more grown up scenarios of acceptance, popularity and rejection. And what everyone thinks of me. Fear is the worst emotion imo.
 
B

BlueWater

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Woah! You sound just like me! The fear of people betraying is real! Maybe not literally, but it resonates so much! The rudness, i have it and it makes me feel like a bad person. I want to change, but ive tried every med. One that really worked with ptsd and paranoia was the white tablets i took. I keep forgetting their name!!! Im gonna get back on it with a med for bipolar in general! U was so calm and felt like myself again! I just hope i dont gain weight.

I forgot to say, im really sorry you went through 30 years of that. Its hell! So much anxiety! Ive actually had anxiety with different things as a child. It was the one emotion thst never stopped plagueing me because whrn i grew up, it followed me, just manifesting in social situations and more grown up scenarios of acceptance, popularity and rejection. And what everyone thinks of me. Fear is the worst emotion imo.
If Lamotrigine has caused any weight gain, it couldn't be more than a few pounds. I lost a few when I started it because of nausea, but Lyrica is definitely the med that has made my weight go up a few pounds. Lamotrigine is good for the depression side of bipolar and, of course, mood stabilization. I think mood stabilization is the part that is so beneficial for those of us who have traumatic memories. I'm slower to react in any situation and, usually, I think more calmly before I react to a bad event. Sometimes, I still explode but nowhere near as often as I used to.
 
K

KeepFighting22

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If Lamotrigine has caused any weight gain, it couldn't be more than a few pounds. I lost a few when I started it because of nausea, but Lyrica is definitely the med that has made my weight go up a few pounds. Lamotrigine is good for the depression side of bipolar and, of course, mood stabilization. I think mood stabilization is the part that is so beneficial for those of us who have traumatic memories. I'm slower to react in any situation and, usually, I think more calmly before I react to a bad event. Sometimes, I still explode but nowhere near as often as I used to.
Im gonna try and look into that with my dr. Sounds promising! 👍

Ive been on those, but i think theres a few more. Thanks! This is helpful to know!
 
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