S
Soren
Well-known member
i really desperately want to kill myself again. i can't think about anything else. except of course all the reasons why i want to kill myself.
like how i've been bullied, humiliated, ridiculed and cheated by the most repulsive sickening bunch of bastards you could possibly meet.
i really find it hard to believe what people are capable of. some of these people are my family, some i thought were my friends.
and yet throughout the whole thing, somehow its all my fault!!! i can't help feeling i've brought it on myself, and i can't just reject that emotion because its so strong. what if it really is my fault? how would i know?
i don't want to be so bitter. i wish i could forgive people, but i genuinely don't understand what that word really means. when i think of the sheer evil, i just don't know what it would entail to forgive that.
like how i've been bullied, humiliated, ridiculed and cheated by the most repulsive sickening bunch of bastards you could possibly meet.
i really find it hard to believe what people are capable of. some of these people are my family, some i thought were my friends.
and yet throughout the whole thing, somehow its all my fault!!! i can't help feeling i've brought it on myself, and i can't just reject that emotion because its so strong. what if it really is my fault? how would i know?
i don't want to be so bitter. i wish i could forgive people, but i genuinely don't understand what that word really means. when i think of the sheer evil, i just don't know what it would entail to forgive that.