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How do you end therapy

J

Jess21

Member
Joined
Nov 16, 2014
Messages
9
I've been seeing my therapist for a while and I think it's time I stop going I feel too attached and I don't think it's healthy. I want to find a new therapist but I don't know how to bring this up to my current therapist does anyone have any suggestions
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Jul 8, 2013
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Mordor
I think you have two options and both will result in a change of relationship.

1. You tell your therapist you want to seek a new one to start afresh.
2. Or you keep your old therapist and see it as an opportunity of growth.

Both require absolute honesty.
 
pepecat

pepecat

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Jul 19, 2010
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middle earth
How long have you been seeing your therapist, and what sort of therapy is it?
Attachment to a therapist is a perfectly normal and expected part of longer term therapy- I had therapy for two and a half years and had a big attachment to my therapist. We talked about it. She knew it, I knew it, it was initially embarrassing to get it out in the open, but if you can do that, working through it WITH the therapist is the best way to deal with it. Otherwise, you're in danger of just repeating the pattern with the next therapist, and the next, and so on, and never actually resolving the issue.

Also, attachment might feel unhealthy, and in some ways it is, but it can also be a necessary part of the therapy process. As I said, I got attached to my therapist, and I said to her several times that I shouldn't have done that, but all she said was that it was right that I did, and in the context of therapy, something that I needed to do in order to work through stuff.
Don't run away from it because you think attachment is bad- it might be something you need to work through, and discussion with your therapist is he way through it. My therapist said once that talking about deeper stuff like this (attachment etc) is when the 'real' therapy gets done- the stuff that matters and will last.

If you look in the 'experiences' section on here, there's a thread entitled 'transference in therapy'- it's kinda my journal of being attached to my therapist, and how that all worked out, and how therapy ended. It's kinda long (70 odd pages),but covers the last 6 months of therapy for me and then after....... You might find some useful stuff in there....or you might no, entirely up to you.

Also if you google 'ending therapy' or 'attachment in therapy' there are some decent psychology websites that talk about all this and are worth a read.
 
D

Deliah

Guest
I got attached to mine too. If they are good at what they do, they will have an awareness of this. I told mine I was attached to her and we were able to include this in my session and this helped. It's a tough one to go through and I send you my love. I was harbouring hopes that she would be my friend which I was unaware of and it hit quite hard. I am now seeing her less as I decided that I needed to get used to being less dependent on her. However I am seeing another one also who I have found myself feeling dissatisfied with because she works in a way I find less useful to me. Considering letting her go and moving back to the old one. D xxxx
 
L

lovagemuffin

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
640
the best way to end therapy is to give them a snog using tongues then when you cant face the rejection anymore turn up outside theyre office in a wedding dress and tell them you love them. they like the attention.
 
J

Jess21

Member
Joined
Nov 16, 2014
Messages
9
Thanks guys for your replies I've been seeing him 3 years and I've tried to tell him twice that I felt to attached to him and all he said was thAt he understand that it's scary to trust someone so much and then changed the subject I even asked him if I could see him every other week instead of every week and he just said I know it's hard but please just stick with it your doing a good job. Pepecat I enjoyed reading your post.
 
N

notrealname

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Joined
May 4, 2009
Messages
766
Thanks guys for your replies I've been seeing him 3 years and I've tried to tell him twice that I felt to attached to him and all he said was thAt he understand that it's scary to trust someone so much and then changed the subject I even asked him if I could see him every other week instead of every week and he just said I know it's hard but please just stick with it your doing a good job. Pepecat I enjoyed reading your post.
Long-term therapy can include attachment for people with some types of problems, but your therapist is right that the attachment is actually a really good thing and not unhealthy in the way you think. It shows that you have had difficulty with attachment previously, which is why you're there, but through your attachment to him, your therapist will demonstrate to you that it is safe to form attachments and you will learn to desensitise to those feelings and become trusting of others.

Go with it and trust your therapist, although I can well imagine it might feel weird.
 
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