• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

How do you deal with the prospect of a future where all you can do is cope?

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PlutonianTears

New member
Joined
Apr 16, 2021
Messages
3
Location
London
the thought of never feeling any relief from these symptoms, this constant merry go round of crushing lows and feeling like I'm being emotionally bashed against a wall. Just coping with those? Like.. they're still going to be there? The biggest hope is learning to cope with them? For me, that really really sucks. And, being honest, it makes me not want to do it, life. I've lost all interest in continuing if that's the best it's ever gone get for me.

I can't afford therapy, I've been on the waiting list for the group therapy offered in my town for around about two years now. I just feel like I'm gonna be stuck like this forever so I can't exactly have relationships. I don't really have any friends and I disconnected from my family for necessary reasons. Life feels very joyless and empty to me, and the best I've got is learning to cope. I can't tell you how much that crushes my spirit. I want so much more for myself but BPD feels like a thief. It feels like it takes everything that could be good in life away from me before I can even experience. I've never even known what it's like to be loved and I probably never will.

I just wonder if anyone else with BPD feels this way and how do you manage that? How do you keep wanting to be here? Honestly, right now, I'm on the precipice and I guess there's a part of me searching for some kind of hope, some kind of reason to stay.
 
W

Want2listen

Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2021
Messages
15
Location
Stroud
Always try even if u fall get back in life u should believe but this tells me u believe maybe u don't believe in yourself. Don't give up and if u need someone to talk to reach out. Start doing things that push ur limits find new people and love yourself don't ever give up x
 
B

brightyellow

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Messages
123
Hi there! I understand how you feel. It's really tiring to deal with what we have. And there are days when I feel like, Ok today I lost. I just let the darkness eat me up. But then I realize that the world's not gonna stop or wait for me to be okay. So I try really hard to keep myself busy. I put myself in a situation where I am too busy to feel sad. It's gonna be all right. Wish you well!
 
C

Chance87

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2021
Messages
49
Location
53548
I feel like this so much. It makes me so angry, it's so unfair that other people can be "ok", but for us it's just "deal with it". I don't have an answer for you. I think my fear of death is strong enough to keep me going right now. I just keep playing the game, but I don't see much point some days
 
T

tracyyewdale

Active member
Joined
Mar 24, 2020
Messages
28
Location
USA
We have a tricky situation. I just think we have this own world in our head, that somehow that's where we tend to hang out, and eventually, when we're not able to cope, we will be stuck there for good.
 
A

adam_goldstein

New member
Joined
Apr 28, 2021
Messages
3
Location
United States
We have a tricky situation. I just think we have this own world in our head, that somehow that's where we tend to hang out, and eventually, when we're not able to cope, we will be stuck there for good.
Yep. This. Exactly.
 
Sash1

Sash1

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2020
Messages
254
Location
Uk
I remember a time, seems forever ago, but

When I laughed, I really laughed.
When I was excited about something, I got butterflies.
When I fell in love, I floated.
When I ate a beaufiful meal, I enjoyed it.
When I was going on holiday, I counted the seconds for the time to start it.........etc, etc..

I know I still do those things and have those moments/feelings, but somehow now, they're sort of muffled, something stops me dead just, as I approach the 100% mark, and I have to turn around and remember I can't reach that mark anymore..to really let go and enjoy it.

But, I'll never give up trying, I don't push it, I seriously just wait for the day when it happens without me even thinking about it..Here's hoping..🤞
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
714
Location
US
Yeah, wish I could give you a pep talk, but I feel exactly the same way. I feel like my life consists of a list of "have to's" and v few "want to's", and all the obligations are just piling up, I don't have the energy to deal with them. Get overwhelmed. And judged by everyone as being lazy or dramatic or crazy. There is something here well worth holding onto, however. I don't know your age, but I'm 50 and have dealt w this feeling pretty much my whole life, and I can say w 100 percent certainty that it haunts me every day that I could have died a couple of times at my own hands, the 2 times I really almost didn't make it. It haunts me b/c as I go through life, as hard as it can be at times, I keep realising that there is a reason to be here, and it scares me that I almost just left. I know that ending it is not the answer.

I don't want to sound like some holy-roller by any stretch, I'm not suggesting any church in particular or anything, but finally I decided to go cause I was really scared that I was going to end my life, and it helped bring me a lot of peace of mind, gained my faith back after decades of none, seeing no point. The people there drove me nuts, but just sitting alone in a church can even bring about peace. And I never thought I'd say it, but when I really lost it a couple of weeks ago, I just prayed, I was at my wits end, about to end it all as it's so painful. That ended w a complete stranger coming up to me and saying she could tell I needed a blessing, and she prayed for me. Weird. But it helped. A lot. Part of it was just feeling like some stranger would give me 5 minutes of her time when it seemed like no one else had the time.

When we're in a really dark period it seems like it's always like this, but it isn't. It waxes and wanes, and you can make it through these dark times. And you'll be so glad you did. Life still sucks in so many ways, but to be here at all is an accomplishment. I wish I could help you, but I know words are words and that I don't take my own advice half the time. When you're in the thick of it, though, it seems like it's always that way and always will be, but it won't. Keep talking here, reach out to us if that's a good start. Just not feeling alone in how you're feeling helps so much. I feel like I could have written your post myself. We get it.
 
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aero89

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 18, 2020
Messages
129
Location
england
I think I live similar existence in that My internal world is where I live
 
HLon99

HLon99

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
812
Location
London, UK
In the end, the best anyone can do is to cope. That's already a step forward, some people can't even do that. I don't know which part of London you are in but there are schemes working in partnerships with the NHS that provide low-cost psychotherapy for people from low-income backgrounds; you don't even need a referral from a GP, you can self-refer. I'll list a link below. I don't think they offer DBT, but its something to fill the stopgap whilst you're on the waiting list.

Also, although there is no medication proven to tackle the core symptoms of BPD; there are certain medications which can palliate some of the worst symptoms such as mood stabilisers (e.g. Lamotrigine etc) and atypical neuroleptics (e.g. Aripiprazole etc). Perhaps its worth having a consultation with a psychitrist. If nothing else, they can give some advice and point you in the right direction.

 
A

AppleJacks99

Member
Joined
May 4, 2021
Messages
24
Location
Arkansas
the thought of never feeling any relief from these symptoms, this constant merry go round of crushing lows and feeling like I'm being emotionally bashed against a wall. Just coping with those? Like.. they're still going to be there? The biggest hope is learning to cope with them? For me, that really really sucks. And, being honest, it makes me not want to do it, life. I've lost all interest in continuing if that's the best it's ever gone get for me.

I can't afford therapy, I've been on the waiting list for the group therapy offered in my town for around about two years now. I just feel like I'm gonna be stuck like this forever so I can't exactly have relationships. I don't really have any friends and I disconnected from my family for necessary reasons. Life feels very joyless and empty to me, and the best I've got is learning to cope. I can't tell you how much that crushes my spirit. I want so much more for myself but BPD feels like a thief. It feels like it takes everything that could be good in life away from me before I can even experience. I've never even known what it's like to be loved and I probably never will.

I just wonder if anyone else with BPD feels this way and how do you manage that? How do you keep wanting to be here? Honestly, right now, I'm on the precipice and I guess there's a part of me searching for some kind of hope, some kind of reason to stay.
I can relate. It feels like there's nothing to look forward to, when all you can do is cope.

I'm sorry you're feeling like that, but I feel it on my bad days, and that's why I tend to dissociate which is unhealthy lol just remember it passes...
 

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