How do you deal with questions?

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simonr1978

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As the thread title suggests I'm curious about how people answer questions about their marks. I had this the other night when I had to take off my sweater so my left forearm was visible, one of my co-workers made a comment about the marks and I was able to brush it off as immediate occupational scratches as he hadn't paid too close attention. But with summer upon us I might not be able to get away with that. How do other forum users deal with this?
 
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write

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Hi, I don't get questions, wear long sleeves all the time. If people ask you don't have to answer if it's uncomfortable. Some people don't get it.
 
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simonr1978

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Hi Write, most people seem to be diplomatic but there is the odd occasion where someone will make a direct comment like "What's with all the shit on your arm, you scratching yourself up?" if it's noticed (I had this one recently) Generally I'm looking for long sleeved tops, but work-compatible shirts are not easy to come by unless I want to end up looking uncomfortably formal.
 
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Hi, yes I do understand that. Maybe you need a short reply that you're comfortable with to use when the insensitive/intrusive questions come, might help a bit to have something prepared? I used to sh on my arms and potentially visible areas, those areas remain scarred but some are fading. Hope you can get some help with the harm x
 
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simonr1978

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my scars are all on my legs so i dont get asked, but if i was asked i would claim they was cat scratches
I did that too, but I don't even have a cat. Give them any good reason though, most people will just smile and say "OK then..." and carry on.
 
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simonr1978

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Thanks, I'll bear that in mind.
 
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Helena1

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you can get make up to cover it.
I guess it depends what they look like and how healed they are, if you can get away with animal scratches etc.
 
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Helen73

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I always wear long sleeved tops (even in the hottest of weather) to cover my scars and avoid any questions. I have scars on my legs and feet too but I don't need to worry about them. I have too many to try and get away with animal scratches as an excuse. It's best just to keep them covered.
 
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nobody has ever asked me thankfully, if they did I'd just simply say it's none of their business
 
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simonr1978

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I always wear long sleeved tops (even in the hottest of weather) to cover my scars and avoid any questions. I have scars on my legs and feet too but I don't need to worry heabout them. I have too many to try and get away with animal scratches as an excuse. It's best just to keep them covered.
I agree Helen, I've given the excuse of my imaginary cat (I named it Schrödinger for fun), but tomorrow is my first shift as supervisor in my current job, I'm going to have to wear a short sleeved shirt and it's already making me worried and self conscious.
 
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I have some minor ones on my upper thighs because people would not see but if it does happen I will be upfront it in a small way takes away the stigma mental health is still taboo we need to be the first to say I had a problem I came out better on the other side :hug5:
 
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If I were you, I'd tell them the truth, "I used to self-harm a long time ago." Then they'd probably ask if you're okay now, you'd say yes and that would be it. It would seem clearer than inventing a lie.
 
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simonr1978

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If I were to tell the truth (and to be clear it's current rather than historic) it would make them uncomfortable, I've seen people's reactions recently when I have to quickly pull down my sleeves if I thought I was alone, it's either alarm or fear. Or both.
 
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simonr1978

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Thankfully I have a full sleeved shirt turn up from eBay so I should be able to cover things for work. Had another well meaning query last night when one of the younger guys asked outright why my arm had so many cuts, I brushed it off with the reply that I guessed I was just unlucky. I don't think he was convinced but it nipped that line of enquiry in the bud.
 
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Thankfully I have a full sleeved shirt turn up from eBay so I should be able to cover things for work. Had another well meaning query last night when one of the younger guys asked outright why my arm had so many cuts, I brushed it off with the reply that I guessed I was just unlucky. I don't think he was convinced but it nipped that line of enquiry in the bud.
See, you didn't even have to lie!
 
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simonr1978

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See, you didn't even have to lie!
I still feel like I told him an untruth though. I made the decision that led to everyone of my scars so I can't blame bad luck or anyone else.
 
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simonr1978

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Recently the guy concerned approached me discretely and apologised for his queries because someone else had apparently explained to him what marks might indicate (At this stage I'm assuming poor Schroedinger is noo
 
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