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How do you answer the question "What do you think started all this?"

J

Jisatsu

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Nov 24, 2009
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515
How do you answer the question "What do you think started all this?"

My counsellor asked me that yesterday and I just said I don't know..
Isn't it just a mixture of bad things? :( I don't see how I can just say "I feel this way because this happened to me when..." Surely if I knew what has caused my depression that I've been hiding for the past 5 years I wouldn't have that much of a problem dealing with it?
Maybe it's just me.. I think if I was the one to say "I have these problems because.." it would sound like I am making up problems for myself..
 
D

DELATEXT

Guest
No certain answer

NO ONE ANSWER TO THIS, BAD THINGS HAPPEN, BAD LUCK ??
LIFE THROWS THINGS AT US, CHOICES WE MAKE ??
ALL WE CAN DO IS OUR BEST, DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF THOUGH, CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND OUR CONTROL ??



:unsure::grouphug::grouphug:
 
lal10

lal10

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Apr 23, 2010
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In my opinion, based on what I have learnt during the counselling module I take as part of my degree, your counsellor was using exploratory questioning, that is asking open questions in order to get you to talk, usually quite generally, about your experiences/thoughts/emotions etc which they would then use to focus on any points that they felt might be relevant to your therapy and then hopefully the road to recovery. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that because you couldn't answer that you are not going to get better, please be assured this isn't true at all, as depression can often not be explained by some major traumatic experience as many people believe. By asking this question it may of highlighted something major I suppose but by not being able to answer you are being honest and your counsellor can use the fact that you don't know to progress in whatever manner they feel is best for you.

Counselling is not used to provide answers for you, it gets you thinking about things that may be too hard to think about usually or to think about things in different ways, sometimes it may be enough to just hear yourself saying things out loud to someone that prompts a realisation that you hadn't seen while keeping it all locked up inside. A counsellor will gently direct you to elaborate on certain aspects they feel are important to address but really the 'answers' come from you and it is not a quick fix. Keep at it and maybe after more sessions you may be able to answer the question, but maybe you will never answer it, either way don't stress it as there is no right or wrong answer and you can get better.

I hope this helps, stay well and if you feel you need to bring up your thoughts/feelings with your counsellor, that's what they are there for at the end of the day and never be embarrassed to question anything they say to you or ask of you it's all part of the healing process.

Lal
xx
 
A

alienrock

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Apr 12, 2010
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Like you say there doesnt have to be one major incident in your life, that has led you to become depressed. For me it is a mixture of things in my life that have happened, that led me to become depressed. Sometimes, its the stupid little things that are the worst.

Everytime i thought i had gotten over one hurdle, another would appear, and its hard to keep going. I got overwhelmed, and still do. Its important to think of the little things, and try to address them one at a time, that way, things dont seem quite so bad. Well thats what i try to tell myself anyway!!
 
W

whatstheproblem?

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Aug 21, 2009
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I suppose it makes sense to ask this question because it's necessary to find the individuals response. Some people may think they know the answer to the question. Where I'm concerned, I don't know what causes my depression. However, I am having treatment for anxietey, yet no one has ever asked me the simple question of why I'm anxious... To which I DO know the answer! Maybe professionals can't win either way. I think it's good yours is asking questions (although I resent it when I'm asked questions myself) ... You must try to bare in mind that these questions aren't a trick. They arnt looking for a certain answer, only what is true to you. xx
 
J

Jisatsu

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I think as I have more sessions I'll be able to answer better. I've just never ever spoken about my problems aloud because I feel like I don't really have any and that the ones I do are insignificant..

I've previously tried to talk to a friend who just told me she was fed up of me moaning and being so down all the time. She said if I didn't change she didn't want to be around me anymore and that crushed me, so I never talk to friends about my problems.
 
I

ImTrying

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Apr 25, 2010
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I think they're usually looking for any key changes in your life around the onset of your depression. so that, for instance if the onset of a person's depression was around the time their parents divorced, then that might explain their abandonment issues now. cause and effect.
but like other people have said, it might not be one thing, or it might not be something that you're aware of.
often some kind of loss can trigger deep rooted emotional trauma.
for example, if a relative dies when you are very young, you might have a disproportionate response to a relationship ending when you are older.
that's how i understand this kind of line of questioning anyway.

but yeah, it's really hard. and if you understood why you were depressed, you wouldn't be going to counsellor!
i think, just to talk about experiences which have effected you, any big changes in your life, that's a good place to start looking.
 
J

Jisatsu

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Well, my parents divorced when I was 4/5 and I went to live with my stepdad.. it's not until I was about 11 that I understood it more and how my mum takes my dad's money and stuff.. I can't have been depressed from the age of 5 though surely
 
I

ImTrying

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Apr 25, 2010
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My doctor said that it's really underestimated how much divorce effects children and teenagers.
It might be helpful to talk to your counsellor about how you felt about it then and how you feel about it now.
 
M

maudikie

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maudikie.

My patient jus phoned me from college and said he didn't feel well, but didn't know what was wrong, so could he come home. Of course I said yes, and together we took it from there. He went to the G.P. who was excellent, and called the psychiatrist who visited the house, and my son went into hospital as a voluntary patient.
We have a very good rapport, some are not so fortunate. He is on treatment, which he accepts. But it is a long story.:)
 

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