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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

How do people treat you?

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KittyCat92

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If you tell someone or some people how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, what you’re going through, how do they treat you?

Do they speak to you differently or behave differently around you?

It’s like I’m harbouring all these secrets that literally no one knows about at all. You know the whole thing about being kind to people because you have no idea what they’re going through or how they’re really feeling. Does it change peoples ways towards you?

People you work with for example? Friends?
 
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charlieblack5

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Good question and something touched on in another thread right? I’ll use my manager as an example. I told him I was suffering with anxiety maybe a month ago (it’s anxiety and depression, and since then I’m now on antidepressants). Every time we have a conversation now: “and how are you feeling? Still anxious?”

Jesus. Yes, still friggin anxious. I find that if people have never had mental health issues themselves, or know anyone who has, they can’t relate and they ask stupid questions and just don’t understand - which is frustrating. Those who do, you get responses more in line with how you’re feeling. So it depends really. But I’m hating this stage of “telling people”
 
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KittyCat92

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Good question and something touched on in another thread right? I’ll use my manager as an example. I told him I was suffering with anxiety maybe a month ago (it’s anxiety and depression, and since then I’m now on antidepressants). Every time we have a conversation now: “and how are you feeling? Still anxious?”

Jesus. Yes, still friggin anxious. I find that if people have never had mental health issues themselves, or know anyone who has, they can’t relate and they ask stupid questions and just don’t understand - which is frustrating. Those who do, you get responses more in line with how you’re feeling. So it depends really. But I’m hating this stage of “telling people”
See I think managers should be taught/trained to an extent about mental health issues and be in a position to support their employees as they have a duty of care to them while they’re at work.

I’m thinking of telling someone at work but there’s always that part of me that just shuts down the idea every single time.
 
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charlieblack5

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See I think managers should be taught/trained to an extent about mental health issues and be in a position to support their employees as they have a duty of care to them while they’re at work.

I’m thinking of telling someone at work but there’s always that part of me that just shuts down the idea every single time.
I’d tell someone if you feel comfortable enough. Otherwise it does just eat away, and if you have random mood swings/withdrawal they will have no idea what it’s all about. I think in my situation at least, being as honest as I can (to an extent) is a bit of a relief.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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I reckon this problem is translatable to any sphere of life. If people have had troubles of their own they can understand them but if they've never had them they don't have a clue about them, and though they may try to appear understanding, they never know. Those that don't know and can't relate well, the only thing you can do is keep trying to tell them what it is or isn't, or what to say or not say.
 
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Purpleplum

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Depends on who you tell. A parent is usually ok. Never tell a workplace no what they're "trained".

That's what counselors are there for...a safe place.
 
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KittyCat92

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Depends on who you tell. A parent is usually ok. Never tell a workplace no what they're "trained".

That's what counselors are there for...a safe place.
What if your work is affected by it, they have a duty of care while you’re at work and maybe they actually need to know if they’re thinking about ‘letting you go’? Poor performance from just not being arsed to do the job is totally different from actually being unwell. I know you can have sick leave but if that’s getting flagged up as too often, surely management knowing what’s happening would help everyone involved?
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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This, for me, is exactly when you DO tell your employers. As you say, you need those protections in place so they don't just give you the boot but instead work in some 'reasonable adjustments' to enable you to perform better. If successful, everybody wins.
 
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Purpleplum

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What if your work is affected by it, they have a duty of care while you’re at work and maybe they actually need to know if they’re thinking about ‘letting you go’? Poor performance from just not being arsed to do the job is totally different from actually being unwell. I know you can have sick leave but if that’s getting flagged up as too often, surely management knowing what’s happening would help everyone involved?
If your sickness is affecting your work, I would go to human resources (Not your manager) and see what rights you have.

Companies are not families. They want people who can be productive and hopefully increase profits.
 
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charlieblack5

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On the flip side, I told my manager today exactly how I’ve been feeling and how things have been difficult lately (I told him everything!), and he was lovely and kind and encouraging. But I guess it depends on the relationship you have.
 

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