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How do i tell my best friend i never want to see him again?

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stephen27898

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Nov 3, 2019
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85
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Southampton
Being around him causes me nothing but pain and anxiety that lasts for weeks after I see him and I need to tell him this but i just cant, it's impossible.

I'm 21 and I've known him since I was 6 but i just cant be around him.
 
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Professionalhypochondriac

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What is the reason it causes so much pain and anxiety ?
if you have been friends since 6 then they must be an important part of your life...
Can you not use the friendship to aid recovery and make something positive rather than shutting them completely out ?
 
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stephen27898

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 3, 2019
Messages
85
Location
Southampton
What is the reason it causes so much pain and anxiety ?
if you have been friends since 6 then they must be an important part of your life...
Can you not use the friendship to aid recovery and make something positive rather than shutting them completely out ?
The main reason is very simple, I struggle with everything in my life, and hes basically got everything that I wished I had and it makes me feel so bad, it makes me feel worthless and I cant help but compare myself and where I am and I just cant take the pain it causes me.

He just turned up unannounced today and it just made me feel so bad, I feel like killing myself everytime I see him, i get a genuine feeling of regret and terror everytime i open the door and hes there i cant do it.
 
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Professionalhypochondriac

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Location
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The main reason is very simple, I struggle with everything in my life, and hes basically got everything that I wished I had and it makes me feel so bad, it makes me feel worthless and I cant help but compare myself and where I am and I just cant take the pain it causes me.
I completely understand why you feel like that.
My best mate from college got in to the job I wanted before me and I had a certain amount of jealousy.
It sounds like you are currently in a bad place and I am sorry to hear that.
Two bits of advice I would give you :
1. Don’t judge your life or success by how someone else is living...just because they have what you wish for doesn’t mean they are Happy and doesn’t mean you can’t get there as you can...
2. Try and see what they have as motivation for success... I know that’s hard to do when you feel down but think i can get there eventually... might take longer but I will... there are many ways to get to the same outcome.
Try not to shut them out as I feel you may regret that down the line... maybe tell them how you are feeling and see if they can help also.
 
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stephen27898

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 3, 2019
Messages
85
Location
Southampton
I completely understand why you feel like that.
My best mate from college got in to the job I wanted before me and I had a certain amount of jealousy.
It sounds like you are currently in a bad place and I am sorry to hear that.
Two bits of advice I would give you :
1. Don’t judge your life or success by how someone else is living...just because they have what you wish for doesn’t mean they are Happy and doesn’t mean you can’t get there as you can...
2. Try and see what they have as motivation for success... I know that’s hard to do when you feel down but think i can get there eventually... might take longer but I will... there are many ways to get to the same outcome.
Try not to shut them out as I feel you may regret that down the line... maybe tell them how you are feeling and see if they can help also.
I just cant tell him this, I cant, i dont feel like I have any other choice but to keep him away from me.

I do t even want to talk to him, I just want anyone that was in my life when I was younger gone, I dont want to bring back any memories or comparison, I just cant stand it, it makes me want to kill myself everytime it happens and it takes me months to try and feel even slightly better.

Maintaining that relationship just isnt an option.
 
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Professionalhypochondriac

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I just cant tell him this, I cant, i dont feel like I have any other choice but to keep him away from me.
I think you always have a choice...
Do you feel like you can’t tell them because of the fear of judgement? Are they aware of your troubles ?
the biggest fear for me is the unknown and judgement... feeling like I have to put a brave face on or a personain front of other people and friends.
For all you know they could be suffering their own troubles and by talking could open up support for each other.
I know you feel like you don’t have another choice but when you start to feel better and you will sometime in the future you may regret shutting them out.
 
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stephen27898

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 3, 2019
Messages
85
Location
Southampton
I think you always have a choice...
Do you feel like you can’t tell them because of the fear of judgement? Are they aware of your troubles ?
the biggest fear for me is the unknown and judgement... feeling like I have to put a brave face on or a personain front of other people and friends.
For all you know they could be suffering their own troubles and by talking could open up support for each other.
I know you feel like you don’t have another choice but when you start to feel better and you will sometime in the future you may regret shutting them out.
But even if he has his own issues how does that help me or change my situation, It doesnt.

And it seems like every choice I make just leads to me suffering, I just wish I was dead, I want to kill myself so badly because I feel so empty, lonely and pointless, but I cant do anything with my life because of anxiety, and other things, I cant feel connected to anyone due to me having autism, I just feel like I dont belong anywhere and due to this I'll just have spend the rest of my life alone.

I really wish someone would just take it out of my hands and kill me.
 
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Professionalhypochondriac

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But even if he has his own issues how does that help me or change my situation, It doesnt.

And it seems like every choice I make just leads to me suffering, I just wish I was dead, I want to kill myself so badly because I feel so empty, lonely and pointless, but I cant do anything with my life because of anxiety, and other things, I cant feel connected to anyone due to me having autism, I just feel like I dont belong anywhere and due to this I'll just have spend the rest of my life alone.
I am sorry you are feeling that way and let me assure you I have been where you have in thought process...
The world will be better without me and nothing will ever bring me happiness or get better.
I promise you this though ... no matter how dark the day their is always sunnier days around the corner.
it would help your issues as you could support each other.
Although I know the way you are feeling you don’t see much positivity at the moment and it’s fine to feel like that. What I don’t want though is for you to act on the way you are feeling as even though you feel in the deepest darker places with support / help and time you can get better I promise you that.
have you considered about going to your healthcare provider about the way you feel?
 
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stephen27898

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 3, 2019
Messages
85
Location
Southampton
I am sorry you are feeling that way and let me assure you I have been where you have in thought process...
The world will be better without me and nothing will ever bring me happiness or get better.
I promise you this though ... no matter how dark the day their is always sunnier days around the corner.
it would help your issues as you could support each other.
Although I know the way you are feeling you don’t see much positivity at the moment and it’s fine to feel like that. What I don’t want though is for you to act on the way you are feeling as even though you feel in the deepest darker places with support / help and time you can get better I promise you that.
have you considered about going to your healthcare provider about the way you feel?
I already have, this has been going on for about 3-4 years now, and it's not getting better.

If anything it just got worse from April of 2019 onwards and he triggered it to get worse and I havent really recovered that much since.
 
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Professionalhypochondriac

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Messages
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Location
United Kingdom
I already have, this has been going on for about 3-4 years now, and it's not getting better.
Have you been recently though... as their could be different treatment / medications /options for you...
I know you in a really dark place but you gotta keep fighting. Don’t give up .. don’t ever give up
 
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Professionalhypochondriac

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Jan 14, 2020
Messages
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Location
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I have been yes.
I know not right now but in times gone by what give you pleasure in life ?
any hobbies or interests...
Exercise
I think the key is that we can’t always stop the storm coming but we have to learn to ride the storm and find effective coping mechanisms for ourselves.
 
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stephen27898

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 3, 2019
Messages
85
Location
Southampton
I know not right now but in times gone by what give you pleasure in life ?
any hobbies or interests...
Exercise
I think the key is that we can’t always stop the storm coming but we have to learn to ride the storm and find effective coping mechanisms for ourselves.
I dont want to cope anymore, what's the point, just try and survive one crisis to get through the next?? I dont see the point, things arent getting better, things havent gotten better, what's the point.

I havent been happy with my life or who I am for as long as I can remember, what's the point.

My reward for dealing with this is what?? Feeling just normally depressed and worthless for another 5 months, I dont see why I should bother anymore.
 
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Professionalhypochondriac

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
57
Location
United Kingdom
I strongly advise that you need to reach out to your healthcare provider as I think you are really in crisis.
Death is never the option, although I understand that you feel it’s sometimes the only option.
You are in a deep dark place and you see no way out and i don’t want you to feel like that.
just the fact that I am messaging you shows you that their are people that care.... I truly believe that everyone has a purpose in life and these dark times are just sent to try us. But you can come out the other end of this...
If you ever feel like doing something stupid please reach out to someone... healthcare provider, hospital, crisis team or emergency services because life is precious and their is a light at the end of the tunnel .
 
S

stephen27898

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 3, 2019
Messages
85
Location
Southampton
I strongly advise that you need to reach out to your healthcare provider as I think you are really in crisis.
Death is never the option, although I understand that you feel it’s sometimes the only option.
You are in a deep dark place and you see no way out and i don’t want you to feel like that.
just the fact that I am messaging you shows you that their are people that care.... I truly believe that everyone has a purpose in life and these dark times are just sent to try us. But you can come out the other end of this...
If you ever feel like doing something stupid please reach out to someone... healthcare provider, hospital, crisis team or emergency services because life is precious and their is a light at the end of the tunnel .
But people have told me this for years, I'm 21 and I've done nothing because of this and it only makes me feel worse as I get older, it doesnt get better, it just gets worse with time, until eventually I kill myself or die naturally.
 
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