I am a male, twenty years old and just started university in September 2018. I have a long history of social anxiety, generalised anxiety and depression, all of these things I have received no help what so ever. Since about May 2018, I have received very intense panic attacks when I am out in public and sometimes even in my own home that I may faint or pass out, when in reality I just feel tired, my brain thinks I am going to pass out which results in me full on panicking. My family have never been helpful towards me and always blamed me for my problems and said I will never change. The two reasons I wanted to move away from home to go to university were to make friends and get a girlfriend, the other being to escape the stresses of my toxic family. After being at university for four months, I have literally isolated myself due to my own fears and anxieties. I made a few friends there but have since isolated myself from them completely. It also frustrated me to see guys a lot less attractive than me get girlfriends just because they were very sociable. Also how confident everyone else was and how they made new friends with ease. Although my social anxiety is nowhere near as bad as it used to be, in some situations it can still be very severe. This isolation and jealousy of other people succeeding in life and me missing out on everything due to my own irrational fears only increased my loneliness. I literally have no human being on this earth no friends no family I can talk to about how I feel and I often feel like if I disappeared tomorrow nobody would miss me or even care. The way things are going now they will never get better and it is very difficult for me to change my thinking, I have tried journalling and writing down my negative thoughts and meditation to ease my anxiety but nothing has worked and I still dwell every day how this start over at university would change my life instantly for the better only to go up there and take none of the opportunities in front of me because I was too scared to. I feel like a total outcast and don't even want to be alive anymore because of how bad and dire things have gotten. Does anybody have any solutions to what I should do about my situation, the irrational panic attacks, the intense loneliness the anxiety the depression?