How do I stop seeing connections about someone

[FlowerBox]

How do I stop this...or ignore it...I keep seeing connections about someone who I really want to trust and I've told them a lot and I've opened up about what's going on and now I am really nervous because I keep seeing everything we were talking about and a number associated with them and it's like I've made a huge mistake and they are in on it and just laughing at me and they got a lot of personal things from me and I'm trying not to care because yes I ultimately opened up but I'm really nervous still even though I feel like everyone knows everything already it's such a scary feeling can someone please tell me how to ignore this feeling

 

[Keesha]

It sounds like ocd. I’ve got this and it’s most annoying. What happens to me is I can’t help focussing on things I see that could be wrong and it drives me and every who knows me nuts. Oddly enough I used to poke fun of my father ( not directly to him of course ) but now have discovered I’ve got it just as bad.For instance while reading your post I couldn’t help noticing that it’s one huge run on sentence. It’s not the most important thing yet its those petty things that get stuck in my mind and it drives me nuts.

I’ve also got the same paranoid issues as you. I often think people are in on some type of conspiracy to harm me in some way and it’s a horrible way to go through life so I empathize with you. One of the things I used to do is put an elastic band around my wrist and every time this negative thought pattern came up, I’d snap the elastic but not hard enough to cause any serious pain; just hard enough to catch my attention and make me more aware of it.

I wish you the best. There may be medication available to help you with this but I don’t know enough about it to recommend one. Someone else may though.

 

[Zero One]

This happened to me some years ago in a forum. Everything I opened up to with someone in pm was posted with slightly different details. I asked her about it and she assured me she did not do it nor did she tell anyone, and said she feels maybe the administrators of the forum were involved. I still hurt and became less friendly with her. Then other details of my life kept coming out on the forum from new users....even after I was once raped a post came up about rape and a lot of things I was thinking but not saying. I can't remember what I was thinking before too clearly, but this post made me think that something else was going on and it wasn't her. So nowadays when I see this trend I don't give into it by giving it attention or thinking about it because I know it is just going to drive me crazy with no end.

 

[FlowerBox]

@Keesha yes sorry about the run-on sentence rambling...I was freaking out and just needed to get it out really quickly because it was hard to keep up with my thoughts
Yeah I think it may be OCD-ish sometimes with me, I don't have OCD but I have some tendencies...I am just so restless I don't know what to do

@Zero One im sorry that happened to you I'm sure that was a scary feeling I think I need to distract myself but I am also struggling with low motivation so this is hard...what to dooo....

 

[Zero One]

@Subota999 I also have OCD tendencies...well at least I think so and even with my excessive hand washing and sanitizing, the psychiatrist said I do not have OCD. TY for your concern. I don't understand so I hope you don't mind me asking...how does the low motivation prevent you from distracting yourself? The voices were just showing me it could be a low energy feeling that bothers the will to do something.

 

[Keesha]

@Keesha yes sorry about the run-on sentence rambling...I was freaking out and just needed to get it out really quickly because it was hard to keep up with my thoughts
Yeah I think it may be OCD-ish sometimes with me, I don't have OCD but I have some tendencies...I am just so restless I don't know what to do

Oh no. Please don’t apologize. It’s completely MY issue and the only reason I used it was as an example of how my mind works. Its something I need to work on, not you.

I totally get the ‘trying to keep up with your thoughts.’ My husband says I can discuss 5 different topics all in a few sentences.

I don’t know if I’ve got OCD but I certainly have tendencies that interfere with my mental well being.

 

[FlowerBox]

@Zero One I try to distract myself with making art or music or working out because those are the most effective for me when I can get myself to do them, but I have been lacking motivation and energy to even start those things. And personally I do think it is the mind control, they have a pretty strong hold on me these past few days.

My mind is so rapid it is very hard for me to even focus on watching a video even if I think it's interesting, or listening to music is even really hard. This is when I think they control my mind and body to engage in dermatillomania which is my OCD tendency I was talking about and it's very hard to stop and put that energy into something productive

 

[FlowerBox]

@Keesha i can't tell you how many times I say something and whoever I'm talking to is just like...what does that have to do with anything? What is your point? What are you even talking about? And most of the time, I can't even retrace my steps of my thought process

 

[Keesha]

@Keesha i can't tell you how many times I say something and whoever I'm talking to is just like...what does that have to do with anything? What is your point? What are you even talking about? And most of the time, I can't even retrace my steps of my thought process

Hahaha. You just described me right there. I’m just glad I’m not alone here. LOL. That’s funny.

 

[Zero One]

@Subota999 thank you, I understand now. I had to look up dermatillomania and I understand these controls. They do it to me sometimes ...it starts off with an itchy annoying feeling and then an impulse to scratch or pick. Sorry this is happening to you. They do some controls on my handwashing , mostly scorn. Sometimes it's so bad my skin cracks and my hands are bleeding.

I understand about the mind going fast thing too, sometimes I keep fast forwarding through a video because I can't wait to see what will happen lol.

 

[Zero One]

Auto correct is killing me today lol

 

[Scapes1986]

I'm going through similar. I forgave somebody that I should of not forgiven. Because now I fear the consequences. It scares me they're going to repeat the same process that I just went through.

 

[FlowerBox]

@Scapes1986 ive done that before too...but I don't think it is always a bad thing..as long as you distance yourself a bit and make it clear that you will not tolerate it happening again, whatever it may be, and knowing in your mind that you can't let it affect you if it did happen again...if that makes sense?
I still talk to someone who really betrayed me years ago but it is very superficial and surface level, which I don't think is as bad as what people make it out to be, I think sometimes maybe it should be that way with some people

 

[Scapes1986]

That's nice of you. I understand. I just dont want a closet relationship. Too violent for me in person. It's a huge story. I hope things work out for you. I'm positive I dont want a relationship with him or my old friends. It's for the better.

 

[Zero One]

I want to reply Scapes1986 but I will have to do it later, it requires a part of my mind that I have to lay down for lol. I feel I am in a similar situation to what you describe.