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How do I stop being lazy and messy?

catmommy

catmommy

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 18, 2021
Messages
245
Location
Vancouver
I'm not motivated to clean up after myself. If another person walked into my apartment, they would probably say, "How the hell do you find anything in here?" I believe my slob status says a lot about my mental health. And I'm sure people think less of me. I feel ashamed of my mess and it's causing me to have a high level of anxiety.
 
O

Orangeade

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 23, 2021
Messages
1,686
Location
England
I'm not motivated to clean up after myself. If another person walked into my apartment, they would probably say, "How the hell do you find anything in here?" I believe my slob status says a lot about my mental health. And I'm sure people think less of me. I feel ashamed of my mess and it's causing me to have a high level of anxiety.
Never feel ashamed. Depression can cause terrible things. Even clearing one thing away from your apartment is progress because its one less thing that was there! Sending you love x
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
2,915
Location
Australia
I'm not motivated to clean up after myself. If another person walked into my apartment, they would probably say, "How the hell do you find anything in here?" I believe my slob status says a lot about my mental health. And I'm sure people think less of me. I feel ashamed of my mess and it's causing me to have a high level of anxiety.

This is me too, in a way. I'm actually quite neat and organised, but I NEVER dust, vacuum, mop or do anything to actually maintain anything. And when something goes wrong or breaks or falls off the wall, maaaaany years seem to go by, and they just stay broken. So now, no one can come in, as it's too embarrassing.
 
Bluejay7500

Bluejay7500

Former member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
7,217
Location
planet earth
Its ok to make a mess sometimes. Things can become familiar and comforting when messy. But I usually clean up after myself. I was never like that, until I started spending time actually cleaning. I used to not know how to clean well.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
2,915
Location
Australia
Oh, and also, "lazy" may not be an accurate word. Anxious, tired, apathetic, overwhelmed, disinterested, lethargic...etc.
 
RapblasterMaster

RapblasterMaster

Was Slowturtle
Joined
Sep 29, 2021
Messages
1,498
Location
England
I wish i had carpets in my room, it would encourage me to get out of bed and tidy up. My floor is so cold.
 
C

C50

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Joined
Dec 5, 2021
Messages
53
Location
Ohio
I think it really has to be a conscious choice. I hate cleaning, so I try to never let it get messy or dusty, I am always cleaning as I go. Also I keep my house simple, no nick-nacks, no piles of anything on counters or tables or floors. My ritual on Sun. morning is to dust, sweep and vaccume, because I never let it get bad I can get that accomplished in less than an hour.

The funny thing is I was raised in a very dirty house, my older sister and brother both still live that way, I get anxiety being at their places.
 
I

IDontCare99

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 27, 2021
Messages
1,438
Location
NoWhere
I'm not motivated to clean up after myself. If another person walked into my apartment, they would probably say, "How the hell do you find anything in here?" I believe my slob status says a lot about my mental health. And I'm sure people think less of me. I feel ashamed of my mess and it's causing me to have a high level of anxiety.
I don't even really want to mention how bad things have gotten before...it's embarrassing, but at the time depression, humiliation over not being able to make money, be good enough etc etc etc...really made me stop giving a fuck.
 
F

fairybells

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 1, 2022
Messages
79
Location
Canada
Whereas 'lazy' is 'unwilling to use energy, conditions can make it unable to use energy,even for simple things like getting motivated to take a shower. Two things have helped somewhat: I will tell myself 'ok I'll put away or do etc. 10 small things. Maybe 3 cups from the table to the sink, these 4 things in a box to sort later (right), wiping the counter gets 3. then I go about until I've completed the tenth, then stop'. Second, I have an area in my small space where I put 'things'. Maybe they are in a bankers box or whatever, but it keeps some other areas free of sooooo much clutter. Still can't figure out a way to see the surface of my living room table.
 
L

Lovelybubbles210

Active member
Joined
Jan 1, 2022
Messages
25
Location
Georgia
I'm not motivated to clean up after myself. If another person walked into my apartment, they would probably say, "How the hell do you find anything in here?" I believe my slob status says a lot about my mental health. And I'm sure people think less of me. I feel ashamed of my mess and it's causing me to have a high level of anxiety.
I totally understand I’m usually a neat person but since ive been really nervous I have just been throwing everything in my closet and it is a complete mess. I started reading the book 30 days of productivity (on audible) and it has been helping me a little to get things done.
 
C

celticlass

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Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
1,595
Location
Scotland
My house and my inability to keep it in tip top condition really gets to me. A person's mental health state really impacts on what they do. As a young housewife with 5 kids I could keep on top of things with little apparent difficulty! People say they do not understand how I could do that. A lot of years have passed and much illness, stress and trauma has passed under the bridge of life. I cannot handle things so well now but I continue to try my best. If I had money I could easily organise people to do things for me.

Take small steps. Go round your home and look for obvious rubbish to be put out with the garbage etc. Next look for the stuff you no longer need or want. Can any of it go to welfare services? They may uplift. Some to the charity shops? Then, and only then are you ready to clean and organise what is left. Just a step or two at a time is fine.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
2,915
Location
Australia
I totally understand I’m usually a neat person but since ive been really nervous I have just been throwing everything in my closet and it is a complete mess. I started reading the book 30 days of productivity (on audible) and it has been helping me a little to get things done.
Yes! I am chronically depressed but it's actually my anxiety that causes the depression and makes me just too "stressed" to deal with doing anything.
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
885
Location
Orleans vermont.
I can tell you how I do it. Everything of mine has its practical place. My living space is organized such that i expend as little energy as possible to keep it clean at all times. Shortest routes, shortest distances, fewest seconds spent. My willpower to clean is nearly non exsistant, I found that if I do it this way I don't need to clean. Note that your living space may look a bit odd, but it's the price of practicality. Here's an example.

In my kitchen the trash is next to the oven so while cooking I can just drop stuff in it. A shelf is just above the trash where i keep zip ties, because my bags are huge and don't have draw strings. My stove is closest to my front door and I have a small porch. Just outside and below are my outdoor trash bins where I can open them from the railing above and let gravity do the work. I put out that trash just a few feet down the driveway in a streight line.
 
W

WanderingA

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 27, 2020
Messages
211
Location
london
My OCD hit when my anxiety started. It wasn't as bad at first but the last 2 years it's gotten really bad. I absolutely hate mess anything that doesn't have a place either needs to have a place or gets gone. I'm now at the stage where my depression and anxiety heightens when I know there's things that need to be tidied but I'm stuck because I don't have the energy to do it.. I'm always tired now and struggle.. I have dedicated one day a week where I go round my while house and do everything. I find that writing lists help massively!! Also do one room at a time! Do not do it all in one go you will get way to overwhelmed and will give up before you've even started. Set a timer. 30 mins or 20 whatever u feel comfortable with. And start with the rubbish. See how much I can get done in that time.. I found that once I start I don't stop till I done.. it makes me feel so much more refreshed.then once it's done do the same thing before it gets to bad set a timer and see what u can do.. it's a vicious circle because you get more depressed being in mess but depressed because you want to do it but don't have the energy.. don't beat yourself up about it. Take it easy. You'll feel alot better when you get the rythem back. Sending hugs
 
C

celticlass

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
1,595
Location
Scotland
I think it really has to be a conscious choice. I hate cleaning, so I try to never let it get messy or dusty, I am always cleaning as I go. Also I keep my house simple, no nick-nacks, no piles of anything on counters or tables or floors. My ritual on Sun. morning is to dust, sweep and vaccume, because I never let it get bad I can get that accomplished in less than an hour.

The funny thing is I was raised in a very dirty house, my older sister and brother both still live that way, I get anxiety being at their places.
We're all different. My mother always ran a tidy ship and so did I in my 20's n 30's. I think we need to bear in mind the impact of our illness on our behaviour. You are clearly coping well at this time, which is great. Unfortunately some are paralysed by their mental and physical symptoms. In my case making piles - say of clean laundry - is important. Once in piles I take upstairs and try to put away tidily! So any shortcuts and tips people have can always help someone. 🙂
 

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