How do I meet new people and make new friends?

[addy]

I've tried everything I can think of. Social groups, pubs, clubs, clubs for my hobbies, activities...but nothing. Is it me? Am I just someone who doesn't deserve to have friends? I know I'm not the best talker in the world and I'm not all that funny but I'm not bad, I can make people smile and laugh. It feels sometimes that just 'cause I have a mental illness (or two, or three) that means I'm meant to spend my life alone. All the PTSD etc from my breakdown and inflicted abuse last year has made it so hard to do all these things, all the voices, ghosts and criticisms flying around in my head. Even the internet is hard these days, so many messages deleted by anixety. I'm not sure what's left to try, it all feels so hopeless and I'm not sure I have the strength to keep trying for much longer. Sorry, feeling really down and messed up tonight.

 

[sandybob]

hi addy

sorry you're feeling so low ..

i'm not the best person to advise on "how to make friends and influence people".. its not my strongest point either .

however sometimes i think we believe we are "supposed" to do this going out and making friends thing ... but i don't think it works like that .
i think about the friends i already have (and i can count em one hand) or the friends i've had in the past and try to remember how i met them ...


through school , college , work , friends of friends and siblings ...

the few i have left are the mother of my sons best friend (met in the school playground ) and probably my ex husband ...

its very rare to have a constant best friend i think ... people come and go and sometimes come back again ..

i try and look at this period as a "dry period"

if you pick up any tips , can i share

 

[jackskellington]

I can also count my real friends on one hand... and I have my family who mean the world to me, and a great g/f who accepts me despite all my issues.
But I do have an awful lot of acquaintances, as I am... in person anyway, pretty irrepressible... quite tall and erm... well built shall we say, weird goth, loud, chatty, with a big booming laugh... but I don't let many get close...
Is there a local forum for your area on here that you could try?

 

[Dollit]

If I cut off a couple of fingers I can count the number of friends I have on the fingers of one hand - that's real world people. A lot of the people I know are "work" related. I have trouble meeting people because I say some extremely inappropriate things. You should have heard what I said to slim hips once. I have trouble keeping friends even when I make them. I wish someone could tell me the answer.

What I do Addy on here is I have a few people who I talk to in pm's and that really helps me, I feel as though the Dollit on the main forum is one person and the one in the pm world are a bit different. I've said this to a lot of people on here - pick someone you like the sound of and pm them and say hello. I love it when someone does that and I get pm'd.

 

[jackskellington]

I have trouble meeting people because I say some extremely inappropriate things. You should have heard what I said to slim hips once. I have trouble keeping friends even when I make them. I wish someone could tell me the answer.

I can relate to this. But I know the people in my world are the ones that I want in it.

 

[Dollit]

There ain't many in my world but they're true people. I'd just like some more.

 

[jackskellington]

There ain't many in my world but they're true people. I'd just like some more.

There's one here.

 

[Dollit]

I know sweetie and I'm grateful that you're part of my world.

 

[addy]

Thanx for all your lovely replies. I'm hoping to get to know a few people on this forum, it just takes me a while to build up the confidence to post something sometimes so PM is a wee while away yet I had a quick look at the local forums but couldn't see one for where I am (Wales) but will slip by and see if I missed it. The forced move back to the UK hasn't helped at all with the social network or illnesses. Of course, if I pick up any tips as I keep trying, I'll let everyone know