- Dec 16, 2007
- Caldicot, Wales
I've tried everything I can think of. Social groups, pubs, clubs, clubs for my hobbies, activities...but nothing. Is it me? Am I just someone who doesn't deserve to have friends? I know I'm not the best talker in the world and I'm not all that funny but I'm not bad, I can make people smile and laugh. It feels sometimes that just 'cause I have a mental illness (or two, or three) that means I'm meant to spend my life alone. All the PTSD etc from my breakdown and inflicted abuse last year has made it so hard to do all these things, all the voices, ghosts and criticisms flying around in my head. Even the internet is hard these days, so many messages deleted by anixety. I'm not sure what's left to try, it all feels so hopeless and I'm not sure I have the strength to keep trying for much longer. Sorry, feeling really down and messed up tonight.