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How do I know if I have Dissociative identity disorder? Or Some sort of personality disorder?

C

ClaireJones121

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Joined
Sep 4, 2009
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How do I know if I have Dissociative identity disorder? Or Some sort of personality disorder?

I feel like there are two halves to me, every time I look in the mirror I don't recognise myself, it feels like I’m watching my life through somebody else or like a TV show and that it's not actually me. And I have times when I sit down and think 'oh my god I’m actually me' and I get all hot and my heart starts racing and my chest feels heavy and I feel like I can barely breathe. I also buy stupid things I don't need, and don't remember doing it. Or doing things/going places and don't remember how I did it or got there.

Also ever since I can remember I get this weird thing, where any voice it’s like if I’ve heard something on the TV it just repeats what I’ve heard or can say anything and I can never remember what it is and it speeds up so fast and then goes into slow motion and it makes me feel scared and sick. I either need to eat all the time or I cannot eat at all. I go in and out of a relationship thinking one minute I don't want it and then next I’m in love with that person and that's really hurting the other person and killing me. I have started having panic attacks frequently. I get headaches and pains all the time for no reason, sudden bursts of happiness, sadness or anger. I feel depressed most of the time. And sometimes before I go to bed I can see myself, and it’s like I’m being shrunk to sooooo small and then I’m really really tall, or wide or skinny.

I tried explaining to my mum but she didn't understand said we all felt like this, but I want to go to a doctor but I’m really scared to talk about it and whether they'll just say well go to a counsellor and send me out.

I really, really need some help its getting so bad :(
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
Hi Claire & Welcome to the site.

I also buy stupid things I don't need.....
That's almost the entire of the rest of the Western World that does that too! So you are very far from alone there with that one.

I go in and out of a relationship thinking one minute I don't want it and then next I’m in love with that person....
Very common I would have thought too.

Can I ask how old you are?

I am not negating what you are going through. But it is a good idea I think to separate things out into what is 'normal' & part of growing up; with other things that are maybe of more concern.

I tried explaining to my mum but she didn't understand said we all felt like this, but I want to go to a doctor but I’m really scared to talk about it and whether they'll just say well go to a counsellor and send me out.

I really, really need some help its getting so bad :(
Counselling & talking therapies can be very good with a competent practitioner, or someone that we can chat with.

Have you tried any relaxation/meditation techniques?
 
S

spuntree

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Joined
Sep 2, 2009
Messages
47
Hi Claire

What you described doesn't sound like dissociative identity disorder. My experience of that has been much different, where actual personality changes take place which result in time loss, friends asking who they are talking to, and basically living multiple lives. Well it's actuall deeper than that but thats gernerally what it meant for me.

I agree with the above poster that you need to seperate what is normal and what is not. Some of what you mentioned such as the feeling you are watching yourself on T.V can be linked to dissociation but is more commenly known as depersonalization.

Dissociation is not an abnormal reaction, everyone dissociates at some time, some people experience such severe traumas that dissociation becomes a problem.

Talk to your doctor about how you feel, the way forward for people suffering with dissociative problems is usually therapy, maybe your doctor can confirm your dissociative symptoms and refer you to the appropriate therapist.

Good luck
 
dib4uk

dib4uk

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Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
2,182
Location
south london,england
I dont know your experiences sounds pretty familiar to me. I dont recognise who I am in a picture- I am a overweight mixed race woman and most of the times I expect to see a skinny white gay man.

Yeah i agree with everything other posters have said, therapy can help.

Borderline personality if meet the full checklist can often be dissociative.
 
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