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How do I cope with triggering noise from neighbors downstairs?

M

Mullimouse

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2021
Messages
9
Location
Germany
It's my first post here, hello everyone! :)

so my boyfriend, my cat and myself moved into a new apartment. Luckily, we found a beautiful one in a mostly quiet area. It's top floor and we have no neighbors beside us, which we were really happy about, since we also moved because we lived in a really noisy apartment (both our neighbors used drugs).

After the extreme stress of moving in, we were really happy for a day. Until our neighbors downstairs came back saturday night. The whole sunday we could hear them stomping through their apartment, screaming instead of talking and every stomp they made and every door they slammed shook our whole apartment.

I was devastated to say the least, since I thought being on the top floor without any neighbors beside us will stop the constant triggering noise. But no, of course not.

The constant screaming and banging and stomping triggers me so badly, that I have panic attacks and breakdowns every day. I had nightmares and sleep-paralysis about my childhood trauma and people breaking into my apartment again and I can't handle it.

My heart is racing constantly and I am so exhausted again, that I can do nearly nothing than feeding and playing with my cat until I fall into my bed again.

I went to stationary trauma-therapy for six weeks a month ago and it didn't help me at all.

The only thing I can do is wearing earplugs for hours until the neighbors are gone in the morning, just to wake me with their stomping, since I can hear that even wearing the earplugs through my pillow.

I don't want to wear earplugs all the time, I want to hear my cat and my boyfriend, my anxiety always tells me, that if they choke or call for help I wouldn't hear them.

Does anyone have any helpful idea or can tell about similar experiences?

Moving isn't an option, we just moved in and we have no money left. Even if we could move, we still don't have any money to move into a house or something like that. We already live on the top floor, I lived on top floor before and that obviously doesn't always help.

I really need help, since I feel like I could go into a clinic again. I would be really happy if someone would answer, I have no one else to talk about that. My boyfriend isn't triggered by something like that and doesn't really notice the sound. And my therapist only tells me to wear earplugs for now and buy some rugs with underlay (which are extremely expensive and I really don't have money for that).

I'm sorry for the bad english, I'm not a native speaker and I'm really exhausted since we moved here.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
3,147
Location
Australia
Oh no! I'm so sorry for this! Some neighbours are SO loud and inconsiderate, and you deserve and need to live in your own apartment with peace and quiet (at least most of the time).

You definitely should not have to wear earplugs all the time! I wear them all night so I can sleep, and I do worry about something happening (like my partner needing me, the phone ringing as something bad may have happened, or my cat getting caught on something and crying for help) and me not being able to hear them.

Can you contact your real estate agent who can contact your landlord, who can then contact the owner's corporation of the building, who can contact the owner of the downstairs apartment and can tell their tenants (your noisy neighbours) to BE QUIET. If they continue to ignore this request, the owners corporation can issue a breach notice to the owner of the downstairs apartment. You DO have the right to what is known as "quiet enjoyment" in your own home.

(Your English is excellent, by the way!) 🌷
 
E

Ele123

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Joined
Oct 29, 2021
Messages
406
Location
Uk
I had to move to escape the neighbours from hell. I literally had no choice. It was move or have no quality of life. Could u try talking to them politely? Its possible they don't know they are bothering u. When I lived in a flat and the people upstairs put their washing machine on late at night and it literally shook my flat I spoke to them and they agree to put it on earlier. Ok it still shook my flat but at least it wasnt late at night
 
T

turnitoffandonagain_again

Well-known member
Joined
May 27, 2020
Messages
1,279
Location
UK
I got a pair of industrial ear-defenders - the kind of thing workmen wear for operating pneumatic drills. They're great, but as I live on my own I don't need to hear anyone else talking so it's not a problem that I can't hear anything at all when wearing them.

It's like living above a soap-opera. I know far too much about their lives.
 
M

Mullimouse

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2021
Messages
9
Location
Germany
I got a pair of industrial ear-defenders - the kind of thing workmen wear for operating pneumatic drills. They're great, but as I live on my own I don't need to hear anyone else talking so it's not a problem that I can't hear anything at all when wearing them.

It's like living above a soap-opera. I know far too much about their lives.
I'm sorry for that. My neighbors don't speak english or my native language, so don't understand them.

I wear earplugs 24/7. The vibrations still come through and I hear everything to some degree. Which isn't nice, but that's all I can do right now.

Which ear-defenders do you have? Because maybe it would help from time to time, when I try to meditate or need to study to have silence.
 
M

Mullimouse

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2021
Messages
9
Location
Germany
I had to move to escape the neighbours from hell. I literally had no choice. It was move or have no quality of life. Could u try talking to them politely? Its possible they don't know they are bothering u. When I lived in a flat and the people upstairs put their washing machine on late at night and it literally shook my flat I spoke to them and they agree to put it on earlier. Ok it still shook my flat but at least it wasnt late at night
I'm really sorry that you needed to move. Luckily, my neighbors aren't bad neighbors. They are just loud. And it's not their fault, the building is built so bad.

I'm thinking about talking to them. I'm really scared of that. My neighbors before were not so nice, when we asked them to turn down their TV at least after 2 am so we could sleep. And my other neighbors were drug-addicts, one of them screamed around and ran into the walls etc. That's why I'm a little scared of talking to them. Also, I am scared that they don't care or won't try, since that happened before with another neighbor. Until she even was insulting.
 
M

Mullimouse

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2021
Messages
9
Location
Germany
I'm sorry for that. My neighbors don't speak english or my native language, so don't understand them.

I wear earplugs 24/7. The vibrations still come through and I hear everything to some degree. Which isn't nice, but that's all I can do right now.

Which ear-defenders do you have? Because maybe it would help from time to time, when I try to meditate or need to study to have silence.
Also, thank you for your reply and sorry for replying so late
 
M

Mullimouse

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2021
Messages
9
Location
Germany
I got a pair of industrial ear-defenders - the kind of thing workmen wear for operating pneumatic drills. They're great, but as I live on my own I don't need to hear anyone else talking so it's not a problem that I can't hear anything at all when wearing them.

It's like living above a soap-opera. I know far too much about their lives.
And thank you for your reply, I'm sorry for replying so late
 
T

turnitoffandonagain_again

Well-known member
Joined
May 27, 2020
Messages
1,279
Location
UK
I'm sorry for that. My neighbors don't speak english or my native language, so don't understand them.

I wear earplugs 24/7. The vibrations still come through and I hear everything to some degree. Which isn't nice, but that's all I can do right now.

Which ear-defenders do you have? Because maybe it would help from time to time, when I try to meditate or need to study to have silence.

These, I think

 
M

Mullimouse

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2021
Messages
9
Location
Germany
Oh no! I'm so sorry for this! Some neighbours are SO loud and inconsiderate, and you deserve and need to live in your own apartment with peace and quiet (at least most of the time).

You definitely should not have to wear earplugs all the time! I wear them all night so I can sleep, and I do worry about something happening (like my partner needing me, the phone ringing as something bad may have happened, or my cat getting caught on something and crying for help) and me not being able to hear them.

Can you contact your real estate agent who can contact your landlord, who can then contact the owner's corporation of the building, who can contact the owner of the downstairs apartment and can tell their tenants (your noisy neighbours) to BE QUIET. If they continue to ignore this request, the owners corporation can issue a breach notice to the owner of the downstairs apartment. You DO have the right to what is known as "quiet enjoyment" in your own home.

(Your English is excellent, by the way!) 🌷
Thank you for your kind reply.

Yes, most people don't really care about the people around them. You can see that in every aspect of life.

I wear earplugs 24/7 right now. I can still hear them running around and banging closets and sometimes how they talk. But it's a bit better with some brown noise or music.

If I wanted to do something about that, I would want to talk to them politely first. I don't want to have them being angry at me.

My boyfriend also said, he would talk to them. Which is really nice of him.

Right now, I'm too scared they don't care or won't try ... or only try for a few days. We had those neighbors before and that neighbor started to be insulting. I don't want that to happen again.

I could contact the owner's corporation, but I'm not sure if that would help. They don't even care that some of our heaters don't work right now.
 
W

wednesday addams

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Joined
Aug 20, 2021
Messages
851
Location
US
Some people must think they are the only ones in the building. Probably just don't care, they know you are above them they don't realize you can hear the noice?
 
M

Mullimouse

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2021
Messages
9
Location
Germany
Some people must think they are the only ones in the building. Probably just don't care, they know you are above them they don't realize you can hear the noice?
I guess, they do not care or realize. All my other neighbors are really silent too. I'm always sorry for the eldery couple below them too. I bet it's just as bad for them as it is for us.

I don't know of they know that. If we want to talk to them, we would talk to the neighbors below them too. Just to know, if they hear them just as loud. And we wanted to ask them, if they can hear us too. But right now, I am too scared to talk to them.

Thank you for your sympathy.
 
T

turnitoffandonagain_again

Well-known member
Joined
May 27, 2020
Messages
1,279
Location
UK
Some people must think they are the only ones in the building. Probably just don't care, they know you are above them they don't realize you can hear the noice?

Probably they grew up in an environment where that level of noise was just the norm so they don't even think about it.


Thank you!

You can probably find higher-rated ones. Can also combine them with the ear-plugs. Not sure anything is going to stop vibrations coming through the floor and the furniture, though. For me it blocks out the constant aggressive shouting, which always set me on edge.
 
B

BlueOx

Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2022
Messages
9
Location
UK
Sorry to hear about all of the noise and triggers you are dealing with. While it doesn't solve the issue of the noise unfortunately, it can help with anxiety and panic attacks if you try to do some rhythmic breathing to reduce your heart rate, and then maybe try some grounding strategies, remind yourself of where and when you are (date, year, time, location etc), and what's around you.
 
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