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How do i convince friend to seek help... she is driving me nuts.



New member
Nov 5, 2008
Hi everyone,

I have no idea how to really help my friend.
She is one of my good friend in church and we are in the same cell group.

I do not know what really triggers but her personality just changed overnight, and it's beyond what i can expect. She can gets hyperactive when she's overly excited like a child. She can blame anyone who may have done wrong to her and behaved too strangly among the friends. When she hears giggles and laughters from a group, She gets hyper-sensitive and assumes they are laughing at her. She will even stomp to them and told them off, and give them unkind words.

Slowly I got to know that her insecurities in life was triggered mainly by a rejection from a guy she met in church. It must be a big blow for her. Because from that day onwards, she changed to become more vicious and unforgiving.

In coping with her hurts and shame, she would crush people down to make herself look better. She would bring up false accusations about what people meant when there's no connection at all. She will keep justifying her strength to compare with others and keeps saying "If they will keep on laughing at me, then I will laugh at them louder... why don't they look at those ugly ones and laugh at them... blah blah" Then when I tried to probe who are those she is referring to, she can never give me an answer... and the same stories will keep on repeating itself with the addition of new ones... like when someone look at her with a certain way when it's just a coincidental glance, she will snap back.

I have thought of approaching her family. But how do I do that when perhaps her family could be the cause of it and they themselves may need medical help... I know her mum is overly controlling and could have incur much insecurities on her.

I have depression and I shared with her and persevered with her for nearly 2 years. I have tried many times to counsel her and praying with her... but I'm helpless. I confronted her on her fears and insecurities and have seek many church counseling advices. Once, I had successfully persuaded her to seek medical treatment and made an appointment with her but at the last minute she pulled out. I was so disappointed, she said she thinks she is better now and can handle it herself.

I felt like giving up. But when I think all her good friends were driven away by her and hated til this day with no particular reasons, is when I see she is really lonely. Good thing for now, God is there and just a few friends still stays on besides her. I know she is not a bad person, she has been there for me before when I was down. She can be very spiritually well and giving.

what can i do now?
sorry for the negative message. I hope to get some suggestions to help her.
thanks, kurara


Hi Kuara and welcome

It is difficult, sometimes you have to let things get worse, before you can help

If you phoned her GP, they couldn't talk to you because of patient confidentiality

But you could write to her GP


New member
Nov 5, 2008
thanks twlight.

I have spoken to the clinic. Apparently i can't do anything now. They said patients have to come to them willing. Difficult for now. I guess I am taking a break from her at this moment, to find my own life balance, and get back at her when she is more stable.



Nov 10, 2008
shipley, west yorkshire
your friend has to realise that she is having problems and she has to want to get the help herself.

i knwo it's hard but you just haev to be there for her as a friend.
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