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How do I accept (or even appreciate) my body?

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Leyla123

Member
Joined
Apr 30, 2021
Messages
7
Location
Germany
Huhu!

Again sorry, my english is unfortunately kind of bad, but I try my best. :)

So when summer is coming closer, I am always getting even more uncomfortable. The reason is that I don't feel good with my body and when it's warm, people undress, going swimming and stuff, I always get so sad. When the sun comes out they look so lucky and careless and I am stuck self sabotaging, because I hate my body. People tell me I'm pretty and even though I definitely had better days, I am not overweight. It seems to me that it doesn't matter how thin or trained I am, I just always feel so insecure, that even wearing a T-Shirt feels too naked. I really really want to stop hating my body though and I just don't know how to get there.

So my questions is, if maybe some of you are also experiencing that strong amount of hate towards your body? Maybe someone has an idea, how to get a better self-perception? I mean, I even start crying, when I have to undress at a doctors. :(

I'm looking forward to any thoughts you might have on this topic.
:)
 
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Purpleplum

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Feb 7, 2020
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Many women do not like their bodies. Women have been bombarded with models in tv and movies having perfect bodies. Men care about theirs too but don't have much pressure as women do.

Do you want to feel comfortable in a swimming suit? Is that what you're saying?
 
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Leyla123

Member
Joined
Apr 30, 2021
Messages
7
Location
Germany
I don't think it's about the swimsuit in particular. I just would like to get rid of feeling shameful about my body in general and wanting to hide underneath the widest clothes all the time. The body is just always there, you can't really ignore it. So I'd like to live in peace with it.
 
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ManDss

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Apr 22, 2018
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Argentina
If you have an ok body, and its most inside your head, expoure little by little maybe ? Even if you not feel comfortable right away, just try it. Even if your body is ok its possible you have bad experiences, like bad comments from people, its imposible that doesnt happens. Is it worth to have this kind kind of insecurities ? Affect your life so much ? Think on that also. Good luck.
 
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Leyla123

Member
Joined
Apr 30, 2021
Messages
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Location
Germany
This is not about beauty standards. I know that a lot of people with BPD have those problems.

Is it worth to have this kind kind of insecurities ? Affect your life so much ? Think on that also
Of course it's not. That's the whole point of this post? But when you experience bad things and your body was part of it, it's not that easy to just "not let that kind of insecurities affect you so much".
 
HLon99

HLon99

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Apr 15, 2020
Messages
812
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London, UK
Don't think about it too much, there are more important things in life other than looks. Morbid self-obssession has never helped anyone. Look to implement other changes in your life; read more, educate yourself, help those that you care about, work hard. Do this and your self-esteem will increase exponentially and soon your body image problems will be a distant memory.
 
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Leyla123

Member
Joined
Apr 30, 2021
Messages
7
Location
Germany
Look, I am looking for people here, who understand me, not those, who mensplain me on how I should educate myself. You don't seem to get that it's about feeling safe, not about being pretty. These are the worst tipps I ever got. LOL.
 
HLon99

HLon99

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Look, I am looking for people here, who understand me, not those, who mensplain me on how I should educate myself. You don't seem to get that it's about feeling safe, not about being pretty. These are the worst tipps I ever got. LOL.
There is no need to get defensive. I am overweight and as a child I was teased for it in school. But I didn't let it affect me, because I worked to improve other areas of my life. If this advice is not for you then fine, but don't be condescending toward people who have a different opinion to you.
 
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Leyla123

Member
Joined
Apr 30, 2021
Messages
7
Location
Germany
I was abused as a child, so it's just not that easy to forget. My body is linked to those experiences all day.

But I didn't let it affect me, because I worked to improve other areas of my life.
It's good for you, that you could get over that. It's not easy to forget mean teasings.

But my way of getting better is, confronting myself and asking people who feel the same way, how they got better. To tell someone "morbid self-obsession never helped anybody", is just disrespectful. It hurts. I didn't think that post through. How can I delete this thread?
 
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ManDss

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Apr 22, 2018
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941
Location
Argentina
Of course it's not. That's the whole point of this post? But when you experience bad things and your body was part of it, it's not that easy to just "not let that kind of insecurities affect you so much".
I know my reply was very simple, but maybe was worth to say it, me not knowing much about you and how you think. I tried to go for the rational way, becauase dont know how an unrational thought could be break without replacing it with a rational one. Anyway, my idea wasnt to undermind your problem. That was the only answer I had in my mind to try to help you.
 
HLon99

HLon99

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I was abused as a child, so it's just not that easy to forget. My body is linked to those experiences all day.



It's good for you, that you could get over that. It's not easy to forget mean teasings.

But my way of getting better is, confronting myself and asking people who feel the same way, how they got better. To tell someone "morbid self-obsession never helped anybody", is just disrespectful. It hurts. I didn't think that post through. How can I delete this thread?
It was never my intention to offend you. I was simply highlighting the fact that if you redirect your focus away from yourself and onto more concrete things in your life, you can free yourself off this anxiety and significantly boost your morale. Maybe this doesn't translate well into German, but I apologise for the misunderstanding nevertheless.

I'm sorry about your childhood and I can appreciate how hard it is to get over stuff like that. Personally, I never forgot, or forgave for that matter. I simply learnt to treat it with quiet indifference.

You cannot delete posts, unless you message a moderator. And don't feel the need to do that on my account, I have a pretty thick skin.
 
HLon99

HLon99

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Messages
812
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London, UK
I know my reply was very simple, but maybe was worth to say it, me not knowing much about you and how you think. I tried to go for the rational way, becauase dont know how an unrational thought could be break without replacing it with a rational one. Anyway, my idea wasnt to undermind your problem. That was the only answer I had in my mind to try to help you.
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