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How do deal with parentification

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pce

New member
Joined
Mar 11, 2020
Messages
1
Location
USA
As a child, my father treated me like his best friend and as if we were one person. Now that I'm older I have a very hard time just expressing myself out of fear that others will use my emotions the way my father did. What can I do to be in charge of myself?
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
12,542
Location
Nowhere
hi pce :welcome: !

yes very interesting ! I think I was a bit too much of a confidante
for my parents too , looking back
although I wasnt really aware at the time
it takes you away from expressing your own feelings
and learning to play

but its never too late to find your feelings and learn to play !
there are opportunities to play here in the chill out forum
and to express your feelings as well in other forums

nobody here will be using your emotions
so you are free to start exploring them !

:grouphug:💜:goodluck:🌅:)🌻
 
I

itsembarrassing

Guest
welcome to the forum!
I understand what you are going through. I have had a similar upbringing.
its been hard. my therapist has helped me through it a bit. but I still struggle expressing my feelings outside of my sessions because I am aware I pay her to listen to me lol. I think talking on here has made me feel less embarrassed (hence my username, lol).
don’t expect yourself to change overnight. with anxiety of any sort, our expectations of ourselves are so high that it feels impossible to reach. center yourself and find your footing first. this process, unfortunately, isn’t linear. it takes time to reach a point of expressing emotions naturally after a consistently codependent parent. you kinda have to force yourself to do it for a while. it takes time. so be patient with yourself. I believe in you :)
 
Tamziie93

Tamziie93

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 8, 2020
Messages
549
Location
England
Sometimes being blunt saying stop don't do that or saying your hurting my feelings if people take the piss walk away you don't need that negativity say that's unappropriate to say to me I don't appreciate that .
 
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