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How can you stop being manipulated by people?

Imverytired123

Imverytired123

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I know this is going to sound sort of weird but throughout my life I’ve had to deal with a lot of manipulation it sort of started with my dad and then I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship when I was a teenager. I was able to end that and cut ties with that person and I thought a was a stronger person because of it but now I’m in a situation where one of my best friends has really fucked me over I know I’m partly to blame but he has turned a situation and made himself the victim and now I’m alone
Does anyone have any tips on how to stop being manipulated?
I feel sort of like I should just bloke myself away from everyone but I know that won’t make things better
 
toutatis

toutatis

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Hi👋

One thing that springs to mind regarding not being manipulated is having strong boundaries and the ability to say no to behaviours or things you simply disagree with and don't want to do. It's basically about honoring yourself and trusting your experience and judgement in relation to other people. Easier said than done a lot of the time, yes, but slowly becomes part of your approach to life as time goes by.
 
hicks

hicks

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Believe that your view or opinion is just as valid (or correct) as someone else's. Stick to your guns.
Quite often I've gone along with someone else's plan, only to later find out that my version was better, or a prediction I made about something was true.
I think it's also a confidence issue too. I've suffered from lack of confidence all my life. Try to have the courage to stand by your views, and believe in your own abilities.
 
Imverytired123

Imverytired123

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Hay thank you i
Hi👋

One thing that springs to mind regarding not being manipulated is having strong boundaries and the ability to say no to behaviours or things you simply disagree with and don't want to do. It's basically about honoring yourself and trusting your experience and judgement in relation to other people. Easier said than done a lot of the time, yes, but slowly becomes part of your approach to life as time goes by.
hey thank you il keep that in mind 😊
 
Imverytired123

Imverytired123

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Believe that your view or opinion is just as valid (or correct) as someone else's. Stick to your guns.
Quite often I've gone along with someone else's plan, only to later find out that my version was better, or a prediction I made about something was true.
I think it's also a confidence issue too. I've suffered from lack of confidence all my life. Try to have the courage to stand by your views, and believe in your own abilities.
Thank you for the advice!
 
T

ThinkingOfAUserName

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I would say don't try to convince a manipulator of anything. Your side of the story can be objective and explained like you would a 3 year old and they will still twist things. Their aim is not to understand you but to get something out of this so any intent to have them understand is pointless. If this person doesn't have the will to try to understand you, then don't even bother. It might take a long time, but the truth eventually comes to light.
 
hicks

hicks

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I would say don't try to convince a manipulator of anything. Your side of the story can be objective and explained like you would a 3 year old and they will still twist things. Their aim is not to understand you but to get something out of this so any intent to have them understand is pointless. If this person doesn't have the will to try to understand you, then don't even bother. It might take a long time, but the truth eventually comes to light.
And some battles aren't even worth fighting. 9 times out of 10 I simply walk away and don't even bother arguing.
 
Imverytired123

Imverytired123

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I would say don't try to convince a manipulator of anything. Your side of the story can be objective and explained like you would a 3 year old and they will still twist things. Their aim is not to understand you but to get something out of this so any intent to have them understand is pointless. If this person doesn't have the will to try to understand you, then don't even bother. It might take a long time, but the truth eventually comes to light.
I think that’s something I need to learn it hard especially because I cared so deeply about this person but I know deep down I can’t make them take responsibility for there actions
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

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And some battles aren't even worth fighting. 9 times out of 10 I simply walk away and don't even bother arguing.
That's a good approach. 99% of arguments aren't worth the effort or the pain.

Cut your losses up front.
 
T

ThinkingOfAUserName

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I think that’s something I need to learn it hard especially because I cared so deeply about this person but I know deep down I can’t make them take responsibility for there actions
Learned the hard way. But once you leave the manipulation bubble, you will feel so much lighter, and in time, see things with clear eyes.
 
T

ThinkingOfAUserName

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Thank you I hope I feel better at the end of this 🙂
I do, thank you. I am still not out of the woods yet, but I finally remembered the way out. I don't know wether to block this person or just ignore, blocking would be a reaction that would give her ammo (she is family, I am bound to meet her eventually), ignoring her is going to make her crazy. But other than that, I finally see them for who they are, and I am not missing out on anything, on the contrary, I am finally free.
 
Imverytired123

Imverytired123

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I do, thank you. I am still not out of the woods yet, but I finally remembered the way out. I don't know wether to block this person or just ignore, blocking would be a reaction that would give her ammo (she is family, I am bound to meet her eventually), ignoring her is going to make her crazy. But other than that, I finally see them for who they are, and I am not missing out on anything, on the contrary, I am finally free.
It’s hard to know what to do, especially when it comes to a family member. I’m not really sure what to do either I’m considering blocking this person but at the same time I don’t really know , I hope you find the right thing to do for you and I’m glad your feeling better now 🙂
 
T

ThinkingOfAUserName

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Thank you, I hope you do too. Just remember, put yourself first in this case. Do what would be convenient for you.
 
J

jsmacks

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I struggle with that too. It comes down with knowing when to say no. Most people will respect your space but some will still try to test. Usually just continuing to say no, they will stop from there.

It can still be hard though as most manipulative people will build your trust first. But it comes down to trusting your gut. If something sounds not quite right, it probably is.
 
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