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how can someone have EVERYTHING and the other have hardly ANYTHING

L

lifecangetbetter

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Jan 26, 2021
Messages
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California
i don't get it. this person i used to work with has EVERYTHINGGGGGGG from A-Z.
Me? some book smarts and that's IT.

i don't get it. doesn't feel like karma is real



God should be given rules.
:mad:
 
L

lifecangetbetter

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Messages
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Location
California
this person is very happy. always smiling, great attitude, and im always hearing "im so happy" from him
 
L

lifecangetbetter

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Jan 26, 2021
Messages
767
Location
California
im like so agitated thinking about this person. they have TWO jobs, one of which is the same as me and a much better job. married to a doctor, has friends, good communications skills, thin as a rail, and is strong

my mind plays him over and over as if im in love with him. im so agitated by meeting this person in every single way😭😤
 
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lifecangetbetter

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Messages
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no he is always smiling. and he has a good attitude in a stressful environment
anyone who is happy at this job is a HAPPY person down to their core
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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Feb 6, 2021
Messages
958
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
I don't believe for a second that he is truly happy. It's all a show. Here are the lyrics of the song "The Tears of a Clown" by the Miracles. I think this song was written for him:

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
Now if there's a smile on my face
It's only there tryin' to fool the public
But when it comes down to foolin' you
Now honey that's quite a different subject
But don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Really I'm sad, oh, sadder than sad
You're gone and I'm hurtin' so bad
Like a clown I pretend to be glad
Now there's some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than the tears of a clown
When there's no one around
Oh yeah, baby
Now if I appear to be carefree
It's only to camouflage my sadness
In order to shield my pride I try
To cover this hurt with a show of gladness
But don't let my show convince you
That I've been happy since you
Decided to go, oh, I need you so
I'm hurt and I want you to know
But for others I put on a show
Ooh, oh there's some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than the tears of a clown
When there's no one around, oh yeah
Just like Pagliacci did
I try to keep my sadness hid
Smiling in the public eye
But in my lonely room I cry
The tears of a clown
When there's no one around
Oh yeah, baby
Now if there's a smile on my face
Don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Don't let this smile I wear
Make you think that I don't care
Really I'm sad, hurtin' so bad
 
L

lifecangetbetter

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Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
767
Location
California
its not a show dude. he was like the happiest kid at my church when we were 10. fast forward 20 years later and he's like the happiest adult ever. super successful, great health besides some seizures, married... to an MD. has plenty of friends...family.. good communication skills.. thin as a rail, handsome. i mean seriously what else on the planet could you ask for. he maintains happiness in an extremely stressful environment

there's LITERALLY nothing more you could ask for.


i swear i TOTALLY look forward to speaking to God when this lifetime is over i have so many question.
#1.why give someone EVERYTHING and the other hardly ANYTHING
#2 make the person with hardly anything's mind obsessed/in love with the guy
i wish i could turn off the part of my brain that keeps thinking of him. it is so bothersome to me
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Location
Nashua NH
I don’t know why some people end up with everything and others end up with very little to nothing. You are right, it isn’t fair.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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Messages
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Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
This is the Fallacy of Fairness, a cognitive distortion:

In 1976, psychologist Aaron Beck first proposed the theory behind cognitive distortions and in the 1980s, David Burns was responsible for popularizing it with common names and examples for the distortions.

In the fallacy of fairness, a person feels resentful because they think that they know what is fair, but other people won’t agree with them. As our parents tell us when we’re growing up and something doesn’t go our way, “Life isn’t always fair.” People who go through life applying a measuring ruler against every situation judging its “fairness” will often feel resentful, angry, and even hopelessness because of it. Because life isn’t fair — things will not always work out in a person’s favor, even when they should.
 
Capri19

Capri19

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Joined
Mar 16, 2021
Messages
36
Location
NZ
no he is always smiling. and he has a good attitude in a stressful environment
anyone who is happy at this job is a HAPPY person down to their core
I have similar envy of people that smile and laugh a lot and appear to be free of stress or are able to hide it better than me. Not sure why we’re all made so different...I wonder if children growing up in a household that is happy and parents laugh a lot develop a similar happy disposition? My household wasn’t unhappy, but my parents were not happy people...my father was busy and stressed and mum suffered from depression ( which I had no idea of as a child).
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Apr 20, 2019
Messages
891
Location
England
Comparing yourself to others is rarely a good idea if you have any insecurities of your own. You'll only see the negative in yourself and the positive in them. Focus on yourself and making things better for you and put any jealousy or resentment for anyone else to one side rather than taking a drop of that poison on a regular basis.
And hey, unless he's a downright bastard to other people, which it doesn't sound like he is, why can't you wish him well and be happy for him as well as working on yourself? Send out some good energy where you can and you might get some returned.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
4,788
Location
Canada
This interest in fairness doesn't help us sometimes. But we are really into it when we're kids. We've all heard kids scream "no fair!" and get really upset. We probably did that too. And we get really passionate in games and sports, that in a way are sort of meaningless, but they sure do get us emotional, and fairness is central to these things.

Anyway, that doesn't work for the kinds of lives people have, their states of health, their wealth, looks, personality traits, genes, and more. None of that fairness applies. There's a song by The Clash, Bankrobber, goes, "Some is rich, some is poor, that's the way the world is"
 
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