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How can i help my partner cope with me

B

beautywithin

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Sometimes im my own worse enemy, there has been things in our relationship that has added to my insecurities and paranoia and because of these past issues i do get paranoid. I blow things out of portion and everything isnt that black and white. Its like im waiting for her to do wrong and she thinks that i think she is some sort of slag that cant be trusted. I jump to conclusions and sometimes once the truth has been shown im like wow i was convinced i was right. Sometimes i feel like im crazy because i believe my reality that was so wrong. I withdraw into myself, when having an episode and they can last a few days to weeks. Sometimes i question everyones motives around me. The only little humans that have not affected my BPD is my child they are my saviours. I know my GF cant cope sometimes and doesnt fully know how to understand me i have said when i know im having an episode because ill have one day or half a day where im hyper excited about nothing. Which when im been normal well not having an episode im pretty goofy anyway but thats extra on them days but then ill suddenly crash. I feel bad she cant cope and i dont know what i can do to help as i explained to her i cant help how i am and i cope they way i know how withdraw and ride it out.

I know no one on here has the answers i feel i just needed to say and get this off my chest, im just sick of having multiple mood changes a day sometimes its just so tiring x
 
N

Nukelavee

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The secret is to control yourself enough she doesn't have to cope with your issues. Like, get control of your triggers and behaviours enough there isn't an issue created.
 
PetitPois

PetitPois

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Are you in therapy, taking meds or practicing any techniques to help you with your BPD? Trying to gain more control over your illness would help your girlfriend. Also has she read up on your condition at all? If not maybe you could find some good articles on the internet to show her. It is about you taking responsibility for your illness.

I work everyday keeping my BPD under control. It is at the point of being automatic now. I do still have flare ups, but they are few and far between. Most things are minor, I actively challenge my thoughts and bring my thinking back to logic usually.

Though I do have triggers that people unfortunately push. Not on purpose I am sure, but it is pretty painful to deal with. However, I am mostly able to do this myself without it seeping out on to those I care about.
 
B

beautywithin

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I am on meds but they are mainly to help me at night im on Trazadone and im normally pretty good with controlling my BPD when i have an episode but my coping device is going quite i cant help it i with draw for a while and my GF struggles with that and i understand why because it is the complete opposite to what im normally like. i have spoken to her sent her some links to read up and told her when i do withdraw not to take it personally i have always coped like this and i would really really struggle to find a new coping device.
 
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