How can I help my girlfriend?

M

monkey2guns

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Joined
Mar 8, 2019
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1
Location
London
#1
Hello!

My girlfriend suffers with Anxiety pretty badly about all sorts of things. She goes through phases of seeming better/worse and new things that she's anxious about seem to pop up every so often which she really struggles with.

She's had CBT before but said it didn't help, although externally she did seem to get better but that may have just been the anxiety going away of it's own accord. She seems to be really struggling at the moment and I don't really know how I can help. I am always up for talking stuff out but I don't know what the right or wrong thing to suggest is and I don't want to make her feel worse ever.

I've tried to suggest she goes back to the doctor and asks for more CBT or something similar but she says it's a waste of time and won't help.

My question is, what should I suggest she does? I don't want to push her to do something she doesn't want to do but I also don't want her to feel bad so maybe convincing her to go get CBT might be most beneficial in the long run?

She's amazing and I really, really hate seeing her struggling and want to help but just don't know how so any suggestions would be massively appreciated.
 
Cpt_Stunning

Cpt_Stunning

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Jan 23, 2019
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439
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Plymouth
#2
The most extremely effective method of CBT is the Linden Method, you can do it at home, but it does cost, google it have a look, it literally is as effective as it says it is, I know because my dad wouldn't be here without it.
 
MeropeneM

MeropeneM

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Jan 18, 2019
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#3
There's a new med called Intuniv that got out for ADHD and high blood pressure. It became apparent with time however that its effects on lowering anxiety were outstanding.

You don't think so much when you take this. I take 1 a day. Then I feel good all day and I don't think anything. I avoided a car that made a left in front of me while I was driving 50mph, slided all over the place then regained control. Immediately after I kept driving, my heart rate was 60 and I wasn't feeling anything.

I gave it a few thoughts and forgot the incident like it never happened. You take it, you're immune to emotional trauma, you don't feel anything and you don't think about anything.
 
D

d0p3y

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Joined
Mar 12, 2019
Messages
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Cardiff
#4
Hey!
It's really amazing too see you trying to help your girlfriend, that alone will go a long way to helping her.

I found it hard to confide in my partner when I was severely depressed and suffered severely with anxiety, I was concerned that, despite me knowing she would be there and support me, there was a slight chance she would find it too much and leave.

She might not be ready to talk about anything yet because she doesn't know what too talk about. If you can re-assure her that you'll be there for her, don't try and force her to talk about her problems, but suggest it. If she says no, suggest she talks to a friend or family.

Aside from being there to support her and help her work through her rough days, giving her space when she needs it is just as important.

I hope this helps in some way, although I am aware it's quite contradictory!
 
G

gam9147

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Feb 18, 2019
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289
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Delaware, USA
#5
CBT encompasses literally 10+ different techniques. Some work better than others for individual people. I'm guessing she hasn't probably done a full 6 month course of CBT with a therpist before 'giving up'? there are also medications that can help ranging in the spectrum from herbals to prescriptions. I take st. john's wart 900 mg a day, (takes a few months to start being effective as does any SSRI). This helps me feel stable enough to work on CBT methods... you have to get to a point where you are stable enough to be able to feel OK first and sometimes that may need some medication. Other herbals are SAM-E, GABA. You can also just start with B vitamin complex which gives some help.

prescription stuff -- any SSRI can help with generalized anxiety disorder.


Regarding CBT: It is really 90%+ effective. so I'd find it hard to believe it would 'fail' on her. Its likely she just isn't quite ready or persistent enough for it and needs to feel a little better first. Usually you start with breathing technique -- breathing, exercise, meditation and visualization, thought countering , self confidence, emotional exercises, nutrition, medical analysis... again has she given each of these a fair shake? My recommendation is always 'the anxiety and phobia workbook' by edmund bourne which details these sections. Its no substitute for a therapist but its a cheap book you can buy so you yourself can real about anxiety disorders and understand them better and may be able to better guide her from it.
 
axnkool

axnkool

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Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
11
Location
Frankfurt
#6
may be spending time in some sort of music concert or cinema or other kind of public event help her to release? Organize a meeting with your friends and her and make a drunk party or travel in car for few days to the remote locations, idk - just bring different things to your life and see how it's going
 

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