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How can I help my friend overcome his social anxiety?

A

Altruistic Hero

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Joined
Sep 26, 2020
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1
Location
France
A friend of mine has a terrible social phobia, and I want to help him overcome it. A psychiatrist is already treating him, but I'd like to have contact with him at school.

However, he doubts very much that I really want to help him and that I like his company. He is afraid of disappointing me so much by embarrassing himself that I will never want to see him again. Besides, he thinks that I just want to spend time with him to not hurt his feelings, and I don't really appreciate him because he is so clumsy and timid.

How can I get him to trust me?
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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May 25, 2020
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5,296
Location
England
Hello and welcome to the forum. What a lovely, thoughtful friend you are. I think all you can do is be there for your friend and show them you care. It sounds like he has little self worth and cannot imagine anybody liking him. You being there will show him you do care.
 
toutatis

toutatis

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Joined
Jun 24, 2018
Messages
1,225
Location
New Zealand
Hi. Maybe you can tell him that you just like him as a person, as a friend, you like and accept him the way he is - which is very special, btw. You're a very caring friend.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Apr 9, 2011
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36,272
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Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi welcome x it is lovely of you to be such a good friend ,i think just keep being there for him and he will relaise in the end you do want to help and to be his friend
thank you for caring about him so much ,it gives me faith that there are very good people in the world
love Lu x
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Jul 31, 2020
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Location
Canada
Sounds like you're doing a good job already.
 
D

Dispatch

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Joined
Feb 9, 2020
Messages
418
Location
USA
A friend of mine has a terrible social phobia, and I want to help him overcome it. A psychiatrist is already treating him, but I'd like to have contact with him at school.

However, he doubts very much that I really want to help him and that I like his company. He is afraid of disappointing me so much by embarrassing himself that I will never want to see him again. Besides, he thinks that I just want to spend time with him to not hurt his feelings, and I don't really appreciate him because he is so clumsy and timid.

How can I get him to trust me?
as a sufferer of social anxiety, when you wrote about his being afraid of disappointing you , that’s key. My advice is to reassure him that whatever he does won’t be disappointing to you. For him to open up and tell you about his fear of disappointing you actually means he is very fond of you and wants to be your friend very much. If you can gain his trust, you’ll have a friend for life.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

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Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
3,037
Location
Glasgow
A friend of mine has a terrible social phobia, and I want to help him overcome it. A psychiatrist is already treating him, but I'd like to have contact with him at school.

However, he doubts very much that I really want to help him and that I like his company. He is afraid of disappointing me so much by embarrassing himself that I will never want to see him again. Besides, he thinks that I just want to spend time with him to not hurt his feelings, and I don't really appreciate him because he is so clumsy and timid.

How can I get him to trust me?
Time. If you dont bail out and stick with him the bond will form. It takes a long time for people like your friend to build up that trust. Believe me ive been there and been let down.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
3,037
Location
Glasgow
A friend of mine has a terrible social phobia, and I want to help him overcome it. A psychiatrist is already treating him, but I'd like to have contact with him at school.

However, he doubts very much that I really want to help him and that I like his company. He is afraid of disappointing me so much by embarrassing himself that I will never want to see him again. Besides, he thinks that I just want to spend time with him to not hurt his feelings, and I don't really appreciate him because he is so clumsy and timid.

How can I get him to trust me?
All my pals bailed on me. Thats no good. Stick with your friend. The more he trust you the more he will come out his shell when you are there. He is going to lean on you alot in social situations but go with it fella. You will have a friend for life if you help him out now.
 
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