P
powrtoc
New member
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2009
- Messages
- 1
This is a genuine request for help
I've been friends with John (not his real name) for 11 years now. We
met in the first week at university when we were in our late teens,
and he has always struck me (and everyone else) as being one of the
most confident and intelligent people I know.
John, coming from a loving family, is always charming, social, friendly and
outgoing; and is highly respected by everyone who knows him. He
always comes across as calm, relaxed and collected; and appears to
have laisez-faire attitude to life.
He breezed through a science degree at a university which is amongst
the most respected in the world in his area of study; managing to
do so despite having an incredibly poor attendance and scarcely studying!
His skills in life are not limited to academia however, as he is
incredibly fit, and can turn his hand to most sports. When he does
so, he naturally excels.
I have shared flats with John and his long term ex-girlfriend Jo (not
her real name) several times, for about 3 or 4 years. Though I
moved out wanting my own place 4 years ago.
John and Jo, had been seeing each other since their early teens, and
had a healthy relationship. Jo being quite fiesty would frequently
shout at John, and they would argue; but it was always forgotten and
they were both very happy together. Everybody always assumed they
were made for each other and that they had a model relationship.
Despite this, John always had a dark side. He has a very high opinion
of himself (some might say justly so) and is arrogant; though somehow,
it rarely comes off as such.
He would frequently talk of violence, and when we lived together in a
flat of 6, said that he often dreamed of massacring us all in our
sleep. He would occaisionally get panic attacks when in crowded areas
or in the company of 'malodorous people'.
John idolised his father who had been a hardcore football casual,
arrested at 100's of football grounds. He would often tell us stories
about how crazy his dad was in his youth. His favourite story of his
father was how he once threw a brick through the window of a bus full
of rival fans. His dad's friends ran off, but his dad remained
'valiantly' fighting off 50 rival football hooligans, before they beat
him within an inch of his life. His skull fractured in multiple
places, 3 weeks later he awoke from a comma.
Since then his father gradually mellowed out, most likely due to his
wifes nagging and his desire to raise a decent family.
In our second year of university John and I started training martial
arts together. We both took it very seriously, and immersed ourselves
in it. As always he excelled.
After a few years John started seeking out additional tuition, this
time in MMA. He loved the directed aggression, and supplemented his
training with excruciating training at the gym.
After finishing University, John rapidly worked his way up into a
highly paid consultancy job. Despite this though he took a series of
jobs working as a doorman, where he began indulging his violent
fantasies.
Since taking this job, things between him and Jo, gradually broke
down. Most likely due to him mixing with the wrong crowd, the
escalating violence in his life and a series of women. Jo had a brief
affair, and they tried to reconcile and then broke up, after a 15 year
relationship.
Since working as a doorman John has seriously injured countless
people. He enjoys breaking arms, dislocating shoulders, stamping on
heads, and shows no remorse for the damage he does. The police have
been involved in a series of incidents, though thanks to the lack of
evidence he almost always gets off. Several incidents have almost
been fatal.
He clearly enjoys speaking about these incidents, and feels like he is
on an escalating path to self destruction. He speaks of his victims
as being either sub-human or mutants, and refers to himself as a
"horrible ****" (though I don't believe he has self-esteem issues).
He claims that he see's red and gets in a rage, but I'm not entirely
convinced. Whenever I've seen him like that it always feels
restrained, like he has made a conscious, rational choice to act
crazy. It doesn't seem like passionate rage, it's a calculated and
conscious choice born out of his own free will.
I invited him to lunch with my girlfriend and a group of friends; non
of whom he had met before. And when I asked what he'd been doing
recently he proceeded to tell everyone in graphic detail about how
he'd assaulted a guy with a hammer. Despite being horrified and
shocked, people commented after at how nice a guy he is... Maybe they
thought he was joking... he wasn't.
I read what I have written and I am only scratching the surface. He
is becoming increasingly paranoid that he might be attacked, and I was
shocked to find that he now carries an axe under the drivers seat of
his car. What's more concerning is that several incidents he has been
involved in have involved him wielding knives and other weapons.
Being a good looking guy, since breaking up with Jo, he rapidly found
himself going out with 4 girls. I've no idea how he has managed to
keep this going for so long, but all 4 now claim to be in love with
him. He say's he's petrified about being alone without physical
contact. To top this off, his ex, Jo, is under the belief that they
are about to get back together, but John says when he holds her he
feels empty.
I appreciate this isn't a medical diagnosis, but I have been convinced for sometime that he is a genuine psycopath. Today I decided to do some research into psycopathic, sociopathic and narcisistic disorders... A few things don't fit, the main being that I don't believe him to generally be deceitful or a liar. Though he has obviously now been forced into this due to his relationships with multiple women.
He appears to driven by a high level irrational force, but the
individual acts of madness appear to me to be pre-meditated and
controlled.
Is there anything that can be done to help him and prevent him
following this path any further? I know he think's there's something
wrong with him; but I think he's enjoying his self destruction too
much to do anything about it.
I am at a loss with what to do, and am worried not for his safety; but
that he will do something truely horrendous and/or wind up in prison.
What can I do to help and where can I turn for advice on this?
I've been friends with John (not his real name) for 11 years now. We
met in the first week at university when we were in our late teens,
and he has always struck me (and everyone else) as being one of the
most confident and intelligent people I know.
John, coming from a loving family, is always charming, social, friendly and
outgoing; and is highly respected by everyone who knows him. He
always comes across as calm, relaxed and collected; and appears to
have laisez-faire attitude to life.
He breezed through a science degree at a university which is amongst
the most respected in the world in his area of study; managing to
do so despite having an incredibly poor attendance and scarcely studying!
His skills in life are not limited to academia however, as he is
incredibly fit, and can turn his hand to most sports. When he does
so, he naturally excels.
I have shared flats with John and his long term ex-girlfriend Jo (not
her real name) several times, for about 3 or 4 years. Though I
moved out wanting my own place 4 years ago.
John and Jo, had been seeing each other since their early teens, and
had a healthy relationship. Jo being quite fiesty would frequently
shout at John, and they would argue; but it was always forgotten and
they were both very happy together. Everybody always assumed they
were made for each other and that they had a model relationship.
Despite this, John always had a dark side. He has a very high opinion
of himself (some might say justly so) and is arrogant; though somehow,
it rarely comes off as such.
He would frequently talk of violence, and when we lived together in a
flat of 6, said that he often dreamed of massacring us all in our
sleep. He would occaisionally get panic attacks when in crowded areas
or in the company of 'malodorous people'.
John idolised his father who had been a hardcore football casual,
arrested at 100's of football grounds. He would often tell us stories
about how crazy his dad was in his youth. His favourite story of his
father was how he once threw a brick through the window of a bus full
of rival fans. His dad's friends ran off, but his dad remained
'valiantly' fighting off 50 rival football hooligans, before they beat
him within an inch of his life. His skull fractured in multiple
places, 3 weeks later he awoke from a comma.
Since then his father gradually mellowed out, most likely due to his
wifes nagging and his desire to raise a decent family.
In our second year of university John and I started training martial
arts together. We both took it very seriously, and immersed ourselves
in it. As always he excelled.
After a few years John started seeking out additional tuition, this
time in MMA. He loved the directed aggression, and supplemented his
training with excruciating training at the gym.
After finishing University, John rapidly worked his way up into a
highly paid consultancy job. Despite this though he took a series of
jobs working as a doorman, where he began indulging his violent
fantasies.
Since taking this job, things between him and Jo, gradually broke
down. Most likely due to him mixing with the wrong crowd, the
escalating violence in his life and a series of women. Jo had a brief
affair, and they tried to reconcile and then broke up, after a 15 year
relationship.
Since working as a doorman John has seriously injured countless
people. He enjoys breaking arms, dislocating shoulders, stamping on
heads, and shows no remorse for the damage he does. The police have
been involved in a series of incidents, though thanks to the lack of
evidence he almost always gets off. Several incidents have almost
been fatal.
He clearly enjoys speaking about these incidents, and feels like he is
on an escalating path to self destruction. He speaks of his victims
as being either sub-human or mutants, and refers to himself as a
"horrible ****" (though I don't believe he has self-esteem issues).
He claims that he see's red and gets in a rage, but I'm not entirely
convinced. Whenever I've seen him like that it always feels
restrained, like he has made a conscious, rational choice to act
crazy. It doesn't seem like passionate rage, it's a calculated and
conscious choice born out of his own free will.
I invited him to lunch with my girlfriend and a group of friends; non
of whom he had met before. And when I asked what he'd been doing
recently he proceeded to tell everyone in graphic detail about how
he'd assaulted a guy with a hammer. Despite being horrified and
shocked, people commented after at how nice a guy he is... Maybe they
thought he was joking... he wasn't.
I read what I have written and I am only scratching the surface. He
is becoming increasingly paranoid that he might be attacked, and I was
shocked to find that he now carries an axe under the drivers seat of
his car. What's more concerning is that several incidents he has been
involved in have involved him wielding knives and other weapons.
Being a good looking guy, since breaking up with Jo, he rapidly found
himself going out with 4 girls. I've no idea how he has managed to
keep this going for so long, but all 4 now claim to be in love with
him. He say's he's petrified about being alone without physical
contact. To top this off, his ex, Jo, is under the belief that they
are about to get back together, but John says when he holds her he
feels empty.
I appreciate this isn't a medical diagnosis, but I have been convinced for sometime that he is a genuine psycopath. Today I decided to do some research into psycopathic, sociopathic and narcisistic disorders... A few things don't fit, the main being that I don't believe him to generally be deceitful or a liar. Though he has obviously now been forced into this due to his relationships with multiple women.
He appears to driven by a high level irrational force, but the
individual acts of madness appear to me to be pre-meditated and
controlled.
Is there anything that can be done to help him and prevent him
following this path any further? I know he think's there's something
wrong with him; but I think he's enjoying his self destruction too
much to do anything about it.
I am at a loss with what to do, and am worried not for his safety; but
that he will do something truely horrendous and/or wind up in prison.
What can I do to help and where can I turn for advice on this?
