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How can I help my brother?

P

purple_star

New member
Joined
Jul 14, 2009
Messages
2
Hi There,

I have recently joined this forum, I am desperate to try and find out how I can help my brother who I think is suffering from depression.

He has just turned 21, I am 28. He lives at home with my parents and I have recently moved back too for a short time, only know I realise the extent of the problem.

He is very withdrawn, barely responding to any coversations I or anyone else tries to start with him, he has lost contact with all friends and has no social life. He stays indoors all day and is on the computer most of the time or eating (lots!). He has dropped out of the past two courses he was on, refusing to continue them. He is very self conscious and I think that is one of the main problems and is why he steers away from social situations.

I have tried to talk to him about maybe finding a job, meeting new people. He just won't listen to me and sees me as a 'lecturing sister'... my parents are at a loss about what to do and I feel that they have given up. I know he needs help and think he is surreing from depression. But how to I try and get him to seek help or advice. I feel like he needs it in order to get his live moving again. :confused:

Any advice wodl be welcome, many thanks.
 
T

Twylight

Guest
Hello Purple Star and welcome

You could write a similar letter and post it to his GP..
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
The only way out of depression is through depression and I'm afraid my best advice is to let him find his own way through it all.
 
P

purple_star

New member
Joined
Jul 14, 2009
Messages
2
Thanks for the advice. :)
 
Emily-Rose

Emily-Rose

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2009
Messages
159
Hey there,

I can completely appreciate the fact that you're worried, and even if we advise you that someone has to get themselves out of depression, etc, it isn't going the change the fact that you are worried, therefore not really helping you for the reason you came to us for support.

I would suggest however that you encourage your brother. Let him know that you're there for him, and give him encouragement, maybe suggest that it might be helpful to see his GP and express how he is feeling. If he doesn't feel he can express how he is feeling, offer to go with him, cause sometimes, just starting the conversation can be the hardest thing, once the GP has some background and information, he can ask most of the questions and your brother has to simply answer yes or no. If he doesn't want you to go in with him, you could suggest that you could write a letter for his GP for him to hand to his GP, therefore starting the conversation again or you could encourage him to write his own feelings down in a letter.

I hope this helps,

Emily.x
 
F

forever

Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2009
Messages
12
Location
UK
Support is hard

Support anyone with mental health issues is very hard. Lecturing, does not work it just makes the person feel more distant and rejected. Just be there and show love not anger, compassion not critisism. Its very hard but just give it a try and you might open a door. A visit to the GP is a great move.
 
F

fairydust78

Member
Joined
Aug 27, 2009
Messages
5
Location
Sheffield
Hi There,

I have recently joined this forum, I am desperate to try and find out how I can help my brother who I think is suffering from depression.

He has just turned 21, I am 28. He lives at home with my parents and I have recently moved back too for a short time, only know I realise the extent of the problem.

He is very withdrawn, barely responding to any coversations I or anyone else tries to start with him, he has lost contact with all friends and has no social life. He stays indoors all day and is on the computer most of the time or eating (lots!). He has dropped out of the past two courses he was on, refusing to continue them. He is very self conscious and I think that is one of the main problems and is why he steers away from social situations.

I have tried to talk to him about maybe finding a job, meeting new people. He just won't listen to me and sees me as a 'lecturing sister'... my parents are at a loss about what to do and I feel that they have given up. I know he needs help and think he is surreing from depression. But how to I try and get him to seek help or advice. I feel like he needs it in order to get his live moving again. :confused:

Any advice wodl be welcome, many thanks.
Hey Purple Star

Your situation sounds similar to mine , my brother is 22 and also still lives at home except rather than suffering from depression he admitted to me last night that he has been diagnosed with Personaility Disorder ( i had thought perhaps he was a manic depressive or something... i am not sure if MD & PD are the same thing :confused:)
Like your brother he has no job , and spends his day playing World of Warcraft, or watching DVDS & eating !. He has few friends (well tbh i am unsure what his friends actually think, and even if they are still friends with him... i imagine it must be hard for them to cope with him especially as he is prone to making accusations etc )
I am finding the whole situation very difficult to cope with.. i am unsure how i can help him. I find it very difficult when he tells that it would be better if he killed himself and that no one would miss him, this could not be further from the truth.
My parents are not helping matters; in particular my mother is burying her head in the sand and REFUSES to speak about it... I can't help but wonder what it must be like for my brother at the moment as my sister has just been accepted into university and all my mum can say is "im so proud of your sister, at least one of children got accepted to university" which is an awful thing to keep on saying..
i suppose the best thing to do is continually offer your support and tell him that you are there for him.. Its what i have been doing and i guess its worked to an extent as its me rather anyone else who he rings/texts (on the odd occasion). I make it a priority to contact him once a week (whether by phone or text ) , just to let him know I am around…..

have sent you a pm as well
 
Neferakhet

Neferakhet

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 13, 2009
Messages
86
Location
Beyond the Styx
You can't help him.He needs to get over his depression himself.Depressions are triggered at some point due to multiple traumatic experiences and can not easily be overcomed.But I'm talking about clinical depressions not sure for how long your brother had been like that.It's his perspective..obviously he sees his whole environment as fail and therefore he doesn't find it necessary to interact with it..which is quite normal.
 
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