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How can I help my brother..

U

user11223344

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Hey everyone, I have an older brother in his mid 20's who has been suffering from depression for a few years. He never finished high school and has had a few jobs but nothing steady. He went to a hospital for 8 months a few years back and was doing really well when he got back but it all went downhill shortly after. He always stays in his room and never wants to talk about his problems.. I've suggested going to see a professional but he gets angry when I mention it. I hate to see him suffer like this, he used to be so outgoing but now he doesn't want to speak or see anyone.. How can I help him get his life back together?
 
Lavender_Rose

Lavender_Rose

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Im not a profession, but his anger might come from feeling judged? Like no one understands him. Especially if he's experienced any of this from friends or family. Maybe approach it from a place of love by just telling him if he ever needs to talk your there for him. He might not want to talk then or even soon but sometimes just feeling like someone cares and is there for him. I know thats how I might feel. Maybe even tell him your know im there for you sometime just as a reminder. Im just saying this from the point of view of what I might want people to say to me. Just the reminder sometimes help, even if I don't take people up on the offer because I don't always believe it.
 
U

user11223344

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Im not a profession, but his anger might come from feeling judged? Like no one understands him. Especially if he's experienced any of this from friends or family. Maybe approach it from a place of love by just telling him if he ever needs to talk your there for him. He might not want to talk then or even soon but sometimes just feeling like someone cares and is there for him. I know thats how I might feel. Maybe even tell him your know im there for you sometime just as a reminder. Im just saying this from the point of view of what I might want people to say to me. Just the reminder sometimes help, even if I don't take people up on the offer because I don't always believe it.
Thank you for your reply. I reassure him of this often and I hope he opens up to me soon.
 
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Purpleplum

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Does he take anything for the depression?
 
Gethsemane

Gethsemane

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He can only help himself but maybe he does not see life the same as you and conventional success does not appeal to him.
I am similar to how you described your brother and there is nothing anyone can say to make me feel better.

People keep talking about medication lol, they really are a meme for a lot of us.
 
I

Intareseid

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The only real hope is medical treatment but nobody can force him.

Ultimately, I'd say that all you can do is be there for him as much as you can without burning out yourself in the process. He will likely try to push people away as much as he can and all you can really do by yourself is to make sure that if he ever asks for help you're there for him.
 
Gethsemane

Gethsemane

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The only real hope is medical treatment but nobody can force him.
Pills which can be most times ineffective and some skills for dealing with stress are not the cure.
Life is misery and some of us decide to let got for the better.

OP needs to do as you said and hope she can help him.
 
Z

Zoe1

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Pills which can be most times ineffective and some skills for dealing with stress are not the cure.
Life is misery and some of us decide to let got for the better.
so what is your cure for mental illness then Gethsemane ?
 
A

Aurin

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My mom also suffers from depression, so in my experience, the best thing you can do is to be there for him.
Try to talk to him, even is it just about the daily life, or engage in some activities with him. But also don't push it too much. I also think that being careful about what you say is a key element.

It is good to remember that he need to want to get better, we unfortunately can't do much, no matter how much we care for the person.
 
Gethsemane

Gethsemane

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so what is your cure for mental illness then Gethsemane ?
You are presupposing that drugs and therapy can cure mental illness and let me make clear some medication does work I also suggest everyone try their options before they decide to take the final one yet at most it merely helps manage the condition. I was going to elaborate a lot more but will not waste my time* on a snarky response.
What is my cure? If you had a basic understanding of mental health you would know what works for one may not work for the other and no there has been no cure for me except gripping onto misery and enjoying the spiral down.
* there is no such thing as a waste of time everything is a distraction from existence itself and we repeat the process with ever increasing goals that leave us less satisfied until the day we die- and this is life, that was it, did you enjoy the ride?- don't forget to come again and play the suffering simulation where no one ever wins.
 
Z

Zoe1

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Gethsemane im not going to engage with you
if you are going to make character assumptions about me
 
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