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How can I be less abrasive toward others?

KaoticKiss

KaoticKiss

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2020
Messages
131
Location
Charlotte, NC
I have been told that I’m too abrasive in social situations. I guess I use my aggressive words as a sort of metaphysical armor to keep from being too open and vulnerable, and thus avoid being hurt. However I wind up putting others on a defensive stance and they don’t want to engage with me socially and I wind up alone and hurt anyways. I use words like “What do you mean?” And “What exactly is going on?” in demanding tones, thus coming across as confrontational. I want to change this and yet, still hold on to a little bit of that “armor” to keep from feeling too exposed. What is the best way to soften my exterior but not be too vulnerable and risk too much?
 
EdEd

EdEd

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2019
Messages
3,326
Location
USA
Learning to control how you feel and what emotions you experience is the best type of armor ... if you don't let things offend or hurt you then that usually works... it does for me.. people usually don't try an hurt me though..
 
KaoticKiss

KaoticKiss

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2020
Messages
131
Location
Charlotte, NC
Learning to control how you feel and what emotions you experience is the best type of armor ... if you don't let things offend or hurt you then that usually works... it does for me.. people usually don't try an hurt me though..
What do I need to do to learn how to control my emotions? I’m a very emotional and sensitive person. Is this something a therapist can help me with?
 
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