- May 14, 2019
- In a galaxy, far far away..
I think it may be down to personal circumstances. Speaking from my own experience, I've gone through life being socially ostracised. Only when I got to 50 (I'm now 52), have I started to 'loosen' up a bit. I can now hold a sociable and relaxed conversation with someone 1-to-1, but only with people I'm very comfortable talking to. I do believe that is partly down to me forcing myself to engage with people more. It has become more relaxed.I fully understand what your saying hicks. It's taken me years of practising to ask open question and not just answer yes or no. When i was working i had every excuse not to go on works night out or team building exercises. They must have thought i had a really busy social calendar as i was always ‘busy’ whenever anything was on. And as for parties its a real nightmare for me. Even family gatherings are difficult even tho i know the people. I just feel that i have nothing of any interest to say to anyone.
And it a lie when people say ‘oh the more you do it the easier it will get’. Im pensioner now and its still difficult.
On a related note to this - what about schools actively teaching social skills? Rather than the kids being sent into the playground to work it out. Shall I tell you what I did as a small kid in the playground? I stayed in a corner waiting until the bell rang, and spoke to virtually nobody. Oh those were long drawn out minutes (seemed like hours) of awkwardness. How did that in any way teach me how to socialise? And worse, it got me bullied for being a loner.
So instead of making kids take 10 subjects of mostly crap which they'll never need in their lives, why not (for those that need/want it) timetable some kind of constructive social sessions. Talking freely with people is an essential life skill. Build confidence instead of knocking it down.
Oh yeah, and the school I think, tried to get me 'out of my shell', by putting me in school plays. Hmmm how do you think being the centre of attention on a stage with an audience looking at me made me feel? This was all decided btw without any consultation with either me or parents. Looking back I can see now what they were trying to do, but went about it in completely the wrong way.
Sorry about the rant, hope I didn't bore you