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How bad is your social anxiety?

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RoseGoldBoi

Guest
My sleep paralysis monster is a fairy that's come to recite every single conversation I fucked up.
 
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angels egg

Guest
I'm always worried that I'll upset other people. I'm also so sensitive that I end up getting upset. I also deal with hirsutism and this causes me to feel even more anxious. This is why I hate going out in public.
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
1,465
Location
London
i just cant talk it was worse when i was a kid got better gradually up to 18/19 still had it just pushed through it like we all then complete nose dive from 19 to 24 now :sorry:
 
soulsearcher

soulsearcher

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 19, 2016
Messages
2,992
My social anxiety is getting worse and worse
 
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Charliedragonfly

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 8, 2019
Messages
50
Location
England
Growing up as a twin, I never had to socialise when I was younger. I remember when I was younger I was even scared to use the toilet at night because I thought I would be told off. But it meant that as I've gotten older, I've just avoided new experiences and it's left me with a fear of talking to people... Add (possibly? Verging on?) Emotionally abusive parents to the mix and you've got yourself a daughter who constantly apologises for everything because everything she does is a mistake. If you want to talk to someone, you're making a mistake if you say hello and you're making a mistake if you don't. Social anxiety is the terror of being judged and doing something wrong, and when you remember that through their eyes your interaction with them means next to nothing, that only encourages thoughts like "you're so selfish thinking you're so important" to pop up. I can't answer the door for fear of not knowing what to say. People are so unpredictable. I need a script, lol.
 
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George10111

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
307
Charliedragonfly, I'm so sorry to hear your experiences with social anxiety. That sounds extreme but you really nailed the painting to the wall there. People have been so hard on us growing up that gradually over time everything we do feels wrong. This 'social disease' is brought on by years of being ostracized for who you are, being made fun of for being different or being bullied in general, as well as over critical people who cascade you with negativity about yourself and it makes matters worse when it comes from everybody because you then truly start to feel like you are wrong and everyones right.

Teachers, family, or even friends constantly telling you everything you do is wrong. People bullying you for the way you walk, look, dress, etc, over years can cause a lot of damage to a person's self image and damage their esteem of humanity.
 
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Pony

Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Germany
my SA starts when I not talk to people on the idiotic/spam/uninterested topics, but with them who I interested in or if it connected with my job
I relate to this so much. When the conversation is important or/and when I really want to build a contact and make a good impression, I struggle to make a decent sentence, vocabulary goes missing, and I'd often sound incompetent, even when very knowledgeable about the subject. It's as if I am leaving my body and watching someone I don't know using my body/voice to embarrass me but I can't reach to slap them and chase away. Then, when the conversation is over, and I regain control, I spend hours (or days) thinking about it and what I should have actually said.
 
toutatis

toutatis

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 24, 2018
Messages
472
Location
Auckland, NZ
Yeah, my social anxiety disorder is quite the problem, too. And I don't know happened to me. A few years ago it just got worse and worse in spite of my best efforts to overcome it. Ended up in the darkest place, was a nightmare in which only two things helped to pull me through. 1] Going back on meds (prior to that, I was hoping I could conquer my SA once and for all without the side effects of having meds in my life) and 2] the love and trust of old friends who suddenly reappeared after a long time, just to catch up and say hi. Probably saved my life as I had planned to end it on my 50th birthday which was 2 months away.

But it showed me the healing power of love and also that although psych meds can be a bumpy haphazard ride, they can also work in my favour - the right ones. Wow.

Oh, well. We must play the cards we've been dealt.
 
Argon

Argon

Member
Joined
Aug 27, 2019
Messages
7
Location
USA
It's more like social discomfort now. as long as it's a short interaction. But the longer I am with someone the worse it gets.
 
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indigo6

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
866
Location
UK
Pretty bad. There has to be an actual purpose to me being around people not just chatting and mingling. Mingling as a word..yak. I dont come across as shy. I have no trouble ordering from a menu or asking directions. Its a group of buzzing people wanting attention and weighing everyone up. I fear being judged outside and screwing up from inside. Cant win.
Ive been learning to be, just be. Silence is interesting. It keeps me calm and often even outgoing people have little to say. Ive kind of adopted the come on lets see what YOU have got. But u cant go all night or all work day .like that so....back to the first line.
 
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Rea

Member
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
17
Location
The Netherlands
To be honest I don't understand if I have it... It's something that I should discuss with my therapist because she never mentioned it.

Even if I don't have social anxiety, I am pretty sure that I have something similar.

I am able to go out my apartment, go to work and have some interaction with people, but when is the moment to have lunch I start to be always really nervous and I start to feel bad, because of the interaction with the colleagues. In general, eating in front of other people does not make me feel comfortable.

If I receive a phone call, I can panic for a quite a while before answering and, if it is possible, I don't pick up the phone and I send a message to the person later.

If I have to ask a question to an employee in a shop it takes such an effort... I spent the last two weeks going in front of a shop that was supposed to sell some stuff that I needed without being able to enter and ask the employees...
I was going there, panicking, starting to feel nervous and then going back home frustrated and feeling stupid... I am always afraid that others will think that I am stupid and that they will start to judge me.

In addition, I live in the Netherlands, I don't speak Dutch and I am always afraid that someone will start to scream and offend me because of this... When someone is stopping me in the street asking for some information in dutch, I start really to panicking because I am terrified about the reaction that the other person can have when he/she realize that I don't speak the local language.
 
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indigo6

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
866
Location
UK
Ah Rea standing outside a shop. Feel for u. Its ok though u know. Its only because the way we all live and have to interact that it shows itself. U could look for the quieter, kinder looking assistant. I do this.You could find you help them.
 
hicks

hicks

Well-known member
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
1,293
Location
A galaxy, far far away..
My social anxiety has always isolated me. I find it very difficult to banter, as I observe other people doing. I quite often don't have any response when someone comes out with some witty comment, expecting a similar comeback. It's like my brain isn't quick enough to return a suitable response. I'm not unintelligent, but my social verbal skills aren't that good. Over time it's got better. I think it's related to how relaxed (or not) you feel when talking to someone. With strangers I get worried that I'm boring the other person, so I don't like to talk about myself much.

Over time I've improved my social skills, with practice. Even simple things like asking someone how they are, or how they spent their weekend. I actually didn't used to do that. But I don't think I'll ever be totally comfortable with social interaction, I'm just too self-conscious. The worst thing for me, is being in a room with a set of strangers. Group social situations are really hard, and extremely draining, mentally. I avoid work social events.
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
6,558
Location
hiding behind the sofa
I fully understand what your saying hicks. It's taken me years of practising to ask open question and not just answer yes or no. When i was working i had every excuse not to go on works night out or team building exercises. They must have thought i had a really busy social calendar as i was always ‘busy’ whenever anything was on. And as for parties its a real nightmare for me. Even family gatherings are difficult even tho i know the people. I just feel that i have nothing of any interest to say to anyone.
And it a lie when people say ‘oh the more you do it the easier it will get’. Im pensioner now and its still difficult.
 
BrianHorlicks

BrianHorlicks

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2015
Messages
3,737
Location
England
Used to be really bad.
Especially when i was younger.
Didn't feel like i fitted in.
Then one day in my twenties,
Getting picked on at work,
And having stories made up about me,
Hearing these from other people,
I dont like the sound of my own voice,
F#ck it,
I thought to my self,
Sick of this,
I then turned it round,
You and everyone will know me,
Even if you dont like me,
Then that will stop the stories and the things from happening.
And it worked,
Im not the same person
I was then.
 
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