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How bad do you feel ?

M

ManDss

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 22, 2018
Messages
1,353
Location
Argentina
On what level of feeling bad you are right now ?

Since a few days Im just terrible.

Ive been with hard depression since 5 or 6 years. Used to have depression problems before, but then just things got solid bad.

This year statted jind of good to me, but since some weeks (due to something that happened) I really feel bad.

The feeling of dont have scape, really destroys me. Its not that things can get better for me soon, a year or two, dont know when Im going to be able to be money independment, have an own place, buy things I likez etc, a thing that takes time to happen, not from a day to another (please dont give me advices about this, Im not looking for advices).

Im living bad all days in a row, I dont have better days, I just pass through the day in darkness. I used to have "kind of good days", and just feel specially bad when I had time to do it.

How is for you ?
 
Talina

Talina

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Forum Safety Team
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May 14, 2020
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1,541
Location
Sweden
I’m not at my worse, I’m laying on my normal levels right now. It might be because I got a new bunny, so I will be staying a bit above my usual exhaustion.

But I notice myself blur out my surroundings sometimes. I don’t have bad visions, only slightly worse vision on the left after taking a hit when playing basket ball match in high school. The bluring it’s often the early signs I’m slipping into a period when I will feel totally exhausted and will struggle keeping myself awake a whole day. Not truly a fun feeling but I can manage it, been through it a few times.

It only becomes annoying that the things I read or try read becomes blurry. I will also misspell many things and my memory becomes bad. Truly not a good set up trying to balance uni studies with. Specially when every two weeks from now, I will have exams with different courses and deadlines. My last course will be in December. Then it’s just a thesis and internship next year, as long I don’t mess everything up.

Myself just trying to think I’m not at my worse. It also help not having any specific thoughts, I find it’s quite good not getting any negative thoughts. A head with no thoughts is quite empty but at least it keep me together. But its a bit of a bummer that things I used to love doing just feel like a bother and demand too much energy to do. I just have no motivation.

I thought you get used to it but myself don’t even though it have been at least 6 years 😒

I’ve at least taken the step to get help and in a few weeks have an appointment with a doctor. Which will judge if I will need any anti-depressive. Because my psychologist and the doctor at that place think I need it. So I’ll just wait and see on what will come.
 
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