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Housemates are shocking

katya

katya

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T, who's been my "best friend" since I was 15, has taken a "lol, bwaaa, get over it" attitude towards my mental health of late (I was raped at a young age and he knows this). We've been living together for the past few years. It's been myself, my boyfriend (A), T and T's boyfriend, L.

Everything's kicked off this weekend. T and L kept me up on Thursday night, first arguing when they got in from work, after midnight (they work in bars), and then having sex a few hours later. I had an observation the next day.

There's been an issue with them doing the washing up; A and I have decided we're no longer washing up their shit, because it's got to the point where we have to come home and wash up nearly everything in the kitchen when we get home. I work as a teacher; I'm too busy for this.

So I've been leaving my unwashed things in my room. I come home on Friday night, after my observation, to a snotty message from L about not washing up my plates, which he decided to wash up, which were in my room for the sole reason I wanted to wash them up myself and I've expressly asked him not to go in my room under any circumstances.

I sent him a message back saying I don't start freaking out whenever they piss me off, so I expect the same level of courtesy back.

Queue shitstorm.

Tommy started having a massive go at me when A and I were having a sort-of argument, so I lost my shit with him. He'd kept me up Thursday night, arguing, and he's beaten L up in the past. L often doesn't have any money, and for months I've been in a situation where I've been scared not to lend L money in case T finds out, loses his shit and beats L up again.

So I lost my fucking shit. I called him an abusive twat and told him to fuck off out of my business.

Tommy's attitude to this was that I'm the issue in the house, I should leave and that the school I'm currently at will "fire [me] soon enough and I'll be back in [where my parents live] soon enough, popping happy pills from [my family doctor]."

When I've been on pins this entire time because I'm shit scared he's going to beat L up again. When this happened, I came home to a broken coffee table and blood on every surface you can imagine. I was finding blood the entire day.

I cannot believe people can be so shitty and abusive. This is coming from someone who's meant to have been my best friend, and Luke's attitude towards me (over text message) is snotty, despite the fact I've been paying his rent behind T's back to try to save him from a beating.

Just needed to vent.

A and I are moving out as soon as I can secure a job for September, but that might take a little while - so, in the meantime, this is the shit I have to contend with.
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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Jesus that is some rank shit to put up with, I hope you feel a bit better after your vent and that you can get out of there soon - sounds a fucking nightmare xx
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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I think I can recall you making a post about your housemates before and it sounded bad back then.. i'm so sorry things haven't got any better.
What a horribly stressful situation for you. :hug1:
I hope you can get out of there sooner rather than later.. it's not fun living with tossers.
 
katya

katya

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Thanks, Toasted. I feel like I'm losing my mind in this situation.

You're right, Somerset. This has gone on for far too long.

I went into work today, really upset at the weekend's events, after receiving torrents of abuse from both T and L. My Head of Department was very understanding, told me I shouldn't be there for my own safety (I'm scared T will turn his violence towards me and/or my possessions) and sent me home, because I'm not in the right frame of mind to be teaching today. I'm currently at my mum's (I call it my mum's - it's actually my parents' house).

I'm going to take my HoD's advice and phone both my landlord and the police to try to get this situation sorted. They're unwilling to move, despite the fact that they couldn't afford the rent on their own because A and I subsidise their rent on the basis that we earn more than them. So they're taking advantage of the situation - despite the fact they're fully aware that their behaviour and attitude is highly detrimental towards me during a very important year in my career.

I'm going round to the house tonight with my parents to collect my things (if they start, my dad will beat the living tar out of them; I might have to restrain him, because I don't want that to happen, but also I'm glad of the protection). Then I'm going home to my mum's.

Tomorrow I'll ring the landlord and the police, stay at home, and see what can be done from there.

I'll be back at work on Wednesday because a lovely colleague of mine has offered that I stay at hers, and she lives right next to the school.

Something has got to be done. Thankfully the school are hugely supportive.

Thanks for your kind words, guys.
 
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Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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I'm glad something is getting sorted for you and that you have supportive and understanding people around willing to help out. Horrible to be chased out of your home by people like that but better than putting up with that.

I hope it goes ok when you go to get your stuff - good that you've got your dad to go with you - and good for your colleague putting you up, too, sounds like a star. :hug:
 
katya

katya

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Thank you.

I don't know whether my boyfriend will be supportive about this. He's very keen to stay out of it so I don't know if he'll take my plan to tell the landlord and the police very well.

I'll keep updating.
 
katya

katya

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My boyfriend is being supportive. He doesn't want to live with them either.

My mum sent them both a text message saying she and my dad will come round later to have a discussion about the appalling situation and which couple is going to move out. They've shat themselves, understandably. L's rang my mum up, calling me names and refusing to admit that I've been lending him money for rent (or to pay for his weed) because he's still (apparently) keeping up the facade with T. He doesn't want T to find out because T will become violent.

They've asked not to be there when my parents go round, which is fair enough, but we're not going to sort anything out. I'm going to have to move out and live with one of my colleagues for the time being, but with that being said, there's now going to be a line drawn in the sand because we all now have two months (we're on a two-month rolling contract) to move out.

I'm pissed off that I'm having to leave because of them, but they can't afford the house themselves anyway.

It's all come to a head because I've been that stressed out, stepping on eggshells, lending L money behind T's back to save L from a beating. They can eat each other now for all I care.
 
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katya

katya

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This is how supportive my school is:

HR manager's just rang me asking if I were okay (I had to explain to her this morning what had happened and that my HoD had expressed that I need to go home). I told her what we're planning to do tonight and I said I'm hoping to be back tomorrow or the day after.

She said, "That's not why I'm calling. I just wanted to make sure you got to your mum's okay."

How nice is that? No pressure - just concern for my wellbeing.
 
katya

katya

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Got my stuff. They made themselves scarce while my dad was there. My sister's boyfriend, K, came with us, too, to pick up some heavy stuff. It was nice going, listening to my dad's in-the-car driving music. Driving there to Woke Up This Morning (the Alabama 3 song also known as the Sopranos theme tune), which he always has on. I was getting pumped up, half-scared they might have chosen last minute to be there for a kind of stand-off. I felt good. Ready. Thankfully they weren't there, because they knew they were coming.

Came home with all my stuff. Rescued the hamster as well 'cause they weren't feeding the little bastard. Listened to I Want to Break Free by Queen with one of the most genuine smiles I've had in a long time.

This needed to happen.
 
katya

katya

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Glad you have got your stuff and are feeling a bit better. Also good for you rescuing the hamster!! x
We had a look online what food they eat; they like bananas, apparently, so we fed it a piece. It was like OM NOM NOM OM NOM. So cute.
 
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