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Horrible thoughts of harm happening to myself

M

Mr_Joe

New member
Joined
May 27, 2009
Messages
1
Location
Hertfordshire
I apologise if this is in the wrong forum but i figured it was an anxiety issue.
I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder when i was in my second-last year of secondary school. I dropped out due to my panic attacks and recieved counciling (somehow) managing to get minimal exam grades. In the past two years i've been treated for depression and more recently been put on anti-depressants (prozac, then mirtazapine which i'm still on).

Throughout this i've been having horrible thoughts of harm happening to my body, such as:
(some of these are a little gruesome so you'll have to highlight them to see them)
  • - My bottom ribs cracking
  • - The skin of my shins being sliced of
  • - The insides of my nose being scraped out
  • - My fingernails peeling backwards away from my skin
  • - Sharp objects jamming into the heels of my feet as i walk
  • - Sharp objects jamming into the very top of my skull
  • - Being tickled relentlessly on the sides of my stomach
  • - Someone being behind me when I'm alone
The ones in bold are the ones that are troubling me the most at the moment. I've always had these thoughts but it's not until recently that they've really caused me distress. It's almost every hour of every waking day. When i think about these things happening i can't stop thinking about them to the point i have to actually touch, rub or hold the area I'm thinking about being harmed, or check to see if there's anything behind me every two minutes.

There's no thought conscious thought process that leads to my thinking about them, it just happens spontaneously. I could be immersed in an activity, or talking to someone when these thoughts suddenly occur.

I don't imagine myself or anyone else doing these things to my body, and i know that these thoughts are completely unfounded. I have no delusions about somebody or something being out to get me and do these things to me. It's just the though of these things happening that makes me cringe, to the point of distress.

I've told both my therapist and my psychologist about these thoughts and neither seemed to be concerned about them, but they're causing me quite a bit of distress, and loss of sleep, which can't be right.

I don't really know what to do. I would say to anyone else with these symptoms to tell their gp or their therapist. But i've done this and nothing is being done.

Thanks for reading this, and any ideas you can come up with :(
 
Eleison

Eleison

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 21, 2008
Messages
808
Location
London
Are you feeling under attack from anything in your life, in the past or present?

It sounds like maybe you're feeling that you're fragmenting, coming apart somehow, too...emotional things like that can come out as physical anxieties. I used to have cancer phobia, when I first got very ill.
 
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