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Hoping to Connect with Others Who Have Derealization/Depersonalization

  • Thread starter theyounganxiouslady
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theyounganxiouslady

theyounganxiouslady

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Jul 9, 2021
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Canada
Hi guys, I’ve been suffering from derealization since last September after I had a massive panic attack caused by my panic disorder. I began to recover and got help dealing with both the derealization and agoraphobia that the panic attack caused, and I was doing really well with exposing myself back to being alone outside through my CBT. But that was until last week when I had another massive panic attack where my derealization made everything around me feel unreal. Again. It wasn’t as bad as my first panic attack, but it wasn’t fun either. I feel as if, since then, my thoughts have been solely about my derealization. I find myself wondering if this is all in my head or if I’m unreal and if I’m going crazy and I’ll never recover. I know I’m not crazy, but I’ve also never had the chance to talk to others who suffer from this. As an 18 year old girl who has so much left to do, I can’t help but feel trapped at home and terrified that maybe my derealization is trying to tell me something, and I get so frickin scared. It’s so hard to ignore the intrusive thoughts!! The only times I really feel better are when I’m distracted by my boyfriend, playing video games, or just being with my family, but when I’m alone or in my head—where I seem to find myself all of the time now—the thoughts race and then my heart starts beating faster, and then more thoughts come, and my heart beats faster—it’s a vicious cycle. I sometimes I feel so disconnected from my surroundings and foggy, and I miss the person I used to be before this happened. I should also note that I’ve been taking Fluoxetine since my first panic attack, and because of how bad my anxiety has gotten lately, my mom thinks it might be good to increase my medication, but I don’t want to be on meds for the rest of my life and was really hoping against this.

I’m not sure if anyone would be interested, but I was hoping to perhaps talk to people who suffer from derealization. Would anyone be interested in talking to me about what derealization/depersonalization is like for you? I would really appreciate talking to someone who feels what I feel and knows what it’s like to make me feel a bit more normal! Anything would help—I just feel kind of lost right now. My anxiety has really been taking over my life recently. The intrusive thought of “what if the world around me is all in my head?” For some reason has been the worst one by far. I have significant evidence against it and none for it, but yet, it lingers and lingers and scares me.

Thanks for your responses in advance :) And sorry for the long thread—I have a lot on my mind.
 
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bead222

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Jul 8, 2021
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Good morning!! I feel as if i wrote this...these are my panic attacks to a T. Been dealing with this on and off since i was 16! Ive found after all these years that there are triggers to the panic attacks.You are not crazy!!There are ways to get though a panic attack..they dont last! I totally get the after effects after having one..sometimes they are worse than the actual attack itself! Sitting..or staying put though one and taking note of things around me, writing down time when started and ended.. writing things i see or smell during one..has helped. I could sit here and write all day..if you have any questions id be more than willing to answer!
 
theyounganxiouslady

theyounganxiouslady

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Joined
Jul 9, 2021
Messages
3
Location
Canada
Good morning!! I feel as if i wrote this...these are my panic attacks to a T. Been dealing with this on and off since i was 16! Ive found after all these years that there are triggers to the panic attacks.You are not crazy!!There are ways to get though a panic attack..they dont last! I totally get the after effects after having one..sometimes they are worse than the actual attack itself! Sitting..or staying put though one and taking note of things around me, writing down time when started and ended.. writing things i see or smell during one..has helped. I could sit here and write all day..if you have any questions id be more than willing to answer!
I have definitely found triggers—often for me it’s not having had enough water/food during the day, and honestly just worrying about my intrusive thoughts bring on the panic. That’s honestly a great idea though—I do something called a thought record when a situation causes significant distress for me so that I can break it down and see if it’s really worth worrying about, but writing it out DURING a panic attack might be worth a try!

What are some of the measures you take to help you reduce intrusive thoughts? :) Before this panic attack, I felt like I could ignore them and let them pass, but feeling as if this is all in my head makes me panic and is therefore really hard to “let it pass”, you know what I mean? If you have any tips or tricks, I’m all ears!❤
 
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bead222

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Jul 8, 2021
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Its hard to wack away intrusive thoughts but you can do it! ..i totally get that..maybe write down what the intrusive thoughts are at time of attack? Taking note of things around you helps! What do you do during the attack?
 
theyounganxiouslady

theyounganxiouslady

New member
Joined
Jul 9, 2021
Messages
3
Location
Canada
Its hard to wack away intrusive thoughts but you can do it! ..i totally get that..maybe write down what the intrusive thoughts are at time of attack? Taking note of things around you helps! What do you do during the attack?
It honestly depends. During my first one I totally freaked because the derealization was new to me, and I thought I was losing it. The second one was similar because it felt like my world was ending, but I managed to calm down because I knew what was happening. Quiet recently, I’ve been able to feel the sensation and just try and let it pass, but at times, it can be quite difficult when the derealization hits because it scares me. I just try to take deep breaths when I feel anxious and do my best to focus on something else.
 
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robertm1970

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Joined
Jul 16, 2021
Messages
6
Location
Uk
I had an episode, never had anything like this, I am 51 years old, had got up to get a drink felt dizzy, within a couple of minutes literally felt like I had been drugged, managed to get to the sofa, then it just got scarier and scarier i was aware of the conversations but I would be talking to my partner but then she would be in another part of the room.
Then I felt like I was drifting away almost out of body and it was only my partner talking to me that bought me back.
Paramedics turned up and thought maybe dehydration, this went on for 2 hrs, eventually they got me to bed and I managed to goto sleep.
The next I was so emotional every time I spoke about it or thought about it.
I am so confused with what happened
 
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bead222

New member
Joined
Jul 8, 2021
Messages
3
Location
USA
I had an episode, never had anything like this, I am 51 years old, had got up to get a drink felt dizzy, within a couple of minutes literally felt like I had been drugged, managed to get to the sofa, then it just got scarier and scarier i was aware of the conversations but I would be talking to my partner but then she would be in another part of the room.
Then I felt like I was drifting away almost out of body and it was only my partner talking to me that bought me back.
Paramedics turned up and thought maybe dehydration, this went on for 2 hrs, eventually they got me to bed and I managed to goto sleep.
The next I was so emotional every time I spoke about it or thought about it.
I am so confused with what happened
I totally get not wanting to talk about it! Its almost like your afraid it will come back..but it may actually make you feel better to talk!The dizzyness..have you had any recent bloodwork done to make sure everything is up to snuff?
 
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