D
dukeyduke
New member
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2010
- Messages
- 3
hi i was hoping someone could helpme! ive been feeling a bit 'disturbed' for quite a while recently and find my behaviour to be worrying. i currently feel full of energy, but also at the same time pretty suicidal. ive tried to write a list of things to try and give you a bit of an idea of whats going on
im 85k in debt
debt happened before, promised my family would never happen again
gran died, tried to burn down for the for sale sign (!)
stolen money
lied to parents
cheated on girlfriend 5 years ago
smoked pot for 3 years
been promiscuous
used girls
have racing thoughts
thoughts of suicide in detail, how i would do it, most painless way. looked on net how to get a gun, how to hang etc
cut myself when i was younger
dont think of consequences eg spending
paranoid of phone calls/knocking on doors
paranoid of being cheated on
cant look people in the eye when walking down the street
shakes when in crowded places
if in a pub/cafe, have to have back to wall so i can see whats going on
back of class at school
sometimes lots of energy (cleaning etc) other times (whole weekend) sitting on sofa and achieve nothing
at work - sometimes lots of energy, othertimes none
sometimes dont eat, go to sleep late.
blame others a lot and get frustrated
got sacked from job for not being good enough/putting in effort
nearly lost current job for doing something i shouldnt have done
nearly lost current job again for lack of performance - made me frustrated, nobody listened
arrested for drink driving - narrowly kept my licence
dumped girlfriend - she cheated and lied, feel guilty
lack of interest in sex when with last girlfriend
wanting to harm people that irritate me
hate loud noises/constant talking
really bad memory - cant remember things minutes ago, can remember things a long time ago that i shouldnt remember
recurring dream about my dad - cant quite remember what happens, but not good?
people think im odd
sorry if this list is confusing! i've written this down mainly for my own use.
the reason im asking for advice on here, i went to see my doctor last year who referred me to a 'counsellor' which consisted of 9 sessions talking to someone, then telling me i'll be 'alright'. to their credit though, i probably only told them 1/2 of the above
any ideas??
im 85k in debt
debt happened before, promised my family would never happen again
gran died, tried to burn down for the for sale sign (!)
stolen money
lied to parents
cheated on girlfriend 5 years ago
smoked pot for 3 years
been promiscuous
used girls
have racing thoughts
thoughts of suicide in detail, how i would do it, most painless way. looked on net how to get a gun, how to hang etc
cut myself when i was younger
dont think of consequences eg spending
paranoid of phone calls/knocking on doors
paranoid of being cheated on
cant look people in the eye when walking down the street
shakes when in crowded places
if in a pub/cafe, have to have back to wall so i can see whats going on
back of class at school
sometimes lots of energy (cleaning etc) other times (whole weekend) sitting on sofa and achieve nothing
at work - sometimes lots of energy, othertimes none
sometimes dont eat, go to sleep late.
blame others a lot and get frustrated
got sacked from job for not being good enough/putting in effort
nearly lost current job for doing something i shouldnt have done
nearly lost current job again for lack of performance - made me frustrated, nobody listened
arrested for drink driving - narrowly kept my licence
dumped girlfriend - she cheated and lied, feel guilty
lack of interest in sex when with last girlfriend
wanting to harm people that irritate me
hate loud noises/constant talking
really bad memory - cant remember things minutes ago, can remember things a long time ago that i shouldnt remember
recurring dream about my dad - cant quite remember what happens, but not good?
people think im odd
sorry if this list is confusing! i've written this down mainly for my own use.
the reason im asking for advice on here, i went to see my doctor last year who referred me to a 'counsellor' which consisted of 9 sessions talking to someone, then telling me i'll be 'alright'. to their credit though, i probably only told them 1/2 of the above
any ideas??