• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

homeless/hypocrite depression dilemma

S

Soren

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Messages
91
Location
uk
when i became severely ill a year ago (my latest in a long series of breakdowns), i couldn't work or pay my rent. i was on the verge of homelessness when my parents offered to let me stay with them, back in my home town.

i accepted their offer out of desperation and i should be very grateful to them. but the problem is that i've always had a very difficult relationship with most of my extended family. we see the world very differently, and have very different political, moral and social attitudes. i also largely blame them for my long history of mental health problems (childhood bullying, injustice, malice etc.).

i've been happier away from them all these years (i'm 32), pursuing my own life. but now of course, in this situation, i can't be myself or say what i really think, as it would cause too much friction (some of my family are extremely obnoxious and ignorant). so i just have to keep my mouth shut and try to keep things as civil as possible - just to keep the peace i suppose.

this makes me feel trapped, suffocated, stifled, stunted, caged and humiliated - just like my childhood! even my brother's kids think they can take the piss and try to humiliate me. i don't have the energy or the power to deal with them, the little b******s.

i've been thinking for a while, that since i seem to be incapable of killing myself, homelessness would offer me more dignity - at least i would be my own man again.

and on top of all this, i feel hypocritical and guilty for not being more grateful. after all, my parents at least, are trying very hard to help me, and i don't want to hurt them.

what should i do?
 
T

Twylight

Guest
I would fill in all the forms to apply to homed by all the housing associations you can find
I would speak to a Doctor and ask him/her to write a letter to them in support of this
 
S

schizzzoid

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
333
Location
Derbyshire
This maybe crazy talk (it would be in my 'family'!), but, would any of them donate/long term lend you the cash, to rent your own place? Mind you that would depend on whether or not you're on benefits, and can get housing benefit etc...

I'd definitely be going down the path Twylight suggests, and, try your local MIND/RETHINK....

Sounds like a f*****g nightmare, as only families can be!
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
In that situation - I would go NFA (No Fixed Abode) Status; & give the DWP & Council a C/O address (Care Of) - Don't tell them that you are living with parents; but that you stay wherever you can, on friends floors etc, & eat at soup kitchens. That way - homeless, with MH issues - you do have a position that the council has an obligation to house you - are you on the housing list? which area are you in? There are often housing associations that will take all this into account. Play the mentally ill, homeless, & incredibly vulnerable card.

If you have told them that you are living with parents - they go back & tell them that you have been kicked out.

What kind of place do you want? I once stayed in sheltered accommodation, in a Stonham housing association block - I liked it there. Supported housing can be OK.

In the future; I could well land in the same situation as you. Sadly; it appears that people only really help when you are in dire circumstances. Being in semi secure private rented accommodation - & you won't get help - But make enough noise with an NFA status & you should get sufficient help to get in somewhere. Shelter can be OK too, I have chatted with them a few times in the past, as well as your MH team, demand a social worker; as they can pull a lot of strings.

Good luck with it all.
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
I went back to myparents house when I was going through my breakdown but once I was discahareged form the ward I actually went homeless it dosent help your mental state but being with my father was really causing me great difficuluties, I have been homeless three times in twenty years and it isnt nice but @leastyou can geton to the council/housing association list which is impossiable if you are @your parents,its emotionally draining be ing around family some times.
 
S

Soren

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Messages
91
Location
uk
thanks for posting replies guys - i massively appreciate the advice. i should have joined this forum ages ago. just never thought of it.

still haven't decided anything but i'm gonna have to try to do a bit of research on the housing stuff before i do anything else i think. maybe try and work out a strategy.
 
Top