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Home alone - feeling low

T

TOONAFISH

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Nov 23, 2008
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Bonnie Scotland
Since giving up college after a mere 4 weeks, i have been left feeling quite low. It is getting progressively worse with time. I kinda lost it last Sunday, but saw my cpn on the Monday who said she would speak to the psychiatrist to get my meds up.

Not heard back as yet. Anyway, i woke up feeling quite bad today, and it just got worse through the day, by lunch is was feeling so bad i took to my bed till 5. got up had tea and went back to bed, been up a couple of hours, but it is so hard to be awake.

My wee girl is in her bed, my son is at his dads, and my hubby is on a birthday night out of his best mate. he did offer to stay home but i told him to go.

Anyway, sorry to bore you all............ i dont want have suicidal thoughts yet, just have this feeling of gettin in the car and just driving and never coming back (whatever good that would do) lol

thanks for reading.
:)
 
F

fallen

Former member
Big hugs to you, Toonafish,

I was about to log off when I saw your post. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.
I know its not easy being on your own sometimes: my husband's been out tonight too and is going away for work tomorrow for 5 nights and I'm dreading it.
Hopefully you'll hear about your meds soon-don't be afraid to chase them up if they don't get back to you soon. Take it easy and give yourself as much rest as you can and ive yourself little treats to have something to look forward to.

:hug1:

P.S. I get the 'getting in the car and never coming back'-I get that too, only I don't drive, lol!
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

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Sorry to hear you down Toon :(

The home alone thing, I can't relate to though. I love it.

Take care. Chat some more if helps :)

It's still early.
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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Hey Toona, I'm sorry that this depression has been lasting so long. It's probably made more complicated by your desire to go back to school and realizing that it's beyond your limit to do right now. I'm feeling pretty low myself right now, and if I had a car I probably would go for a nice long drive out to the country and find some spot by the river to just sit and watch the river flow by. I wish I could just walk into the sunset and be totally consumed in it's radiance and beauty.
 
T

TOONAFISH

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Thank you peeps, i fell asleep again, but woke up at 2.30......... i have had 6 .... yes 6 slices of my daughters bday cake mmmmmmmmmmmmm i must get back on the wagon.

im gonna try and get back to sleep..... taking my daughter and her friend to soft play area tmrw for her 6th bday. xxxxxxxxxx

thanks for your replies xxx
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

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Thank you peeps, i fell asleep again, but woke up at 2.30......... i have had 6 .... yes 6 slices of my daughters bday cake mmmmmmmmmmmmm i must get back on the wagon.

im gonna try and get back to sleep..... taking my daughter and her friend to soft play area tmrw for her 6th bday. xxxxxxxxxx

thanks for your replies xxx

Ah well - if you fancied them, then why not.

Enjoy tomo/later Toona :) Sounds like a great day :)

Take care :)
 
T

TOONAFISH

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i can't describe how i feel properly. it is like from half hour/ hour my mood is changing. I feel so depressed. i dont want to do anything. I have an hour to get myself and my daughter ready to head off, hubby wont get up grrrrr...... i just want to curl up and sleep ........... i wish i could stop crying, and eating, i keep eating sweet stuff.... I know I have to take my daughter, i love her sooooooooo much, i feel like such a shit mum, she doesnt need this in her life. none of them do. i feel like such a dissapointment to my family and i think they must think, oh god here we go again.

that is how i feel anyway lol............ Here is little Erin with a picture she has drawn for me, sweet. xx
 
Hellbilly

Hellbilly

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Haw toona doll
Don't look under the bed !!!! Lol
How you doing ma wee dawber???? Lol
I'm here to shout at if you need too
Chin up
 
mrlaurel

mrlaurel

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west mids
i can't describe how i feel properly. i wish i could stop crying, and eating, i keep eating sweet stuff. i feel ... like such a shit mum, she doesnt need this in her life. none of them do. i feel like such a dissapointment to my family and i think they must think, oh god here we go again.

that is how i feel anyway lol............ Here is little Erin with a picture she has drawn for me, sweet. xx

hello Toon,

they are only feeling, you need to allow them to surface and try and be aware of the fact its your mind working overtime to make you feel so bad.


we all (I know I do) feel rubbish about ourself from tiem to time but its not true and not how others see us. Just push on the best you can, thats all any of us can do...


take care



stan
 
T

TOONAFISH

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Messages
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Location
Bonnie Scotland
thank you, i can do things in wee bursts, like a typed on here then went back into bed, txt my dad, then had a wee cry, im gonna go and have a shower, why does it feel like climbing a mountain to have a shower? you know it is nice once you get in, but the thought of it is too much. lol.....
 
F

fallen

Former member
thank you, i can do things in wee bursts, like a typed on here then went back into bed, txt my dad, then had a wee cry, im gonna go and have a shower, why does it feel like climbing a mountain to have a shower? you know it is nice once you get in, but the thought of it is too much. lol.....

I know what you mean-everything seems like a big effort and just adds to the feeling of patheticness (if that's a word, lol). I hope you managed to enjoy some of your day.

Keep going! We have to believe we can beat this!

Big hugs :hug1:
 
T

TOONAFISH

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Messages
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Bonnie Scotland
Thanks you guys. Fell asleep at 8 and now wide awake. Had a hard day. Went to kids play centre with my daughter and her best friend. me and hubby sat and talked for an hour, he is so great, i love him to bits. but i felt shit. then we went shopping, which was a nightmare, just got a few things though. gonna have to do an online shop but it is such an effort lol.........

On a good note, my sister had a car accident in 2006. she was hit head on by a guy. she was scalped and smashed her pelvic, arm and wrist. The council said they had gritted the road, but they lied and it was all signed for, the police proved it. so she sued them. 6 years on, she finally got her pay out on Friday. She got enough to buy her wee hoosie that she has been waiting on, so pleased for her, she has been through so much, so good things do happen xxxxxxxxxx

I feel like i am gettin worse every day. Have cpn on tues, but what good does it go really? But I will go.
 
M

moodmuse

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I take long drives and don't tell anyone. Go somewhere lake pond beach or whatever is around and write in journal. It always makes me feel better.
 

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