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Isobel

Isobel

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2007
Messages
114
Location
south London
Hello everyone,
We're back home at last ---- we were living with a friend for 8 weeks, twice as long as we should have been. The place is still surrounded with scaffolding which we don't much like, all our books are in the wrong places so we can't find anything, we haven't made enough space in the living room to put the rug back down yet but apart from all that it's a relief to be here.
We've both been very stressed. J blacked out getting out of bed and hit his head. That resulted in 5 days in hospital where they found nothing physical wrong that we didn't know about already. Then, he had a huge panic attack at his cardiology appointment. The Dr was very good, she checked his heart etc. and told him that she was very happy with it which helped him to realise that his heart wasn't banging away in his head. I just carried on taking the tranqs! Luckily they do help me.
I think that it was too much for our friend as well. She had just started a new job which she loved at first but last week she told me that she wasn't getting the training she needed. Also, she'd just started a new relationship and they hadn't been able to see each other because of very bad colds. We were resting one Sunday when colossally loud music started, real ear banging. I thought it was a car outside which we do get round here but it turned out to be hers. She'd never done anything like that before, she had it on loud enough to hear while she was outside gardening. It really felt as though she was making a statement. J accidentally turned it off while trying to turn it down and she flew at him, shouting and swearing. The previous week I had said to her that if she was finding it too much having us there - and we were very respectful of her space and privacy - we'd move out even if the scaffolding was still up. She didn't say anything. Before we moved out J and I had talked about what to do with our 2 cats and had decided to lock them in one room and come and get them when all our stuff had been taken back home and when we'd got a second cat box. She had said that she was taking time off that day to help us move. On the day itself she insisted that we take them first thing so that she could get on with the cleaning, if we didn't she'd let them out. It really felt like an ultimatum, it WAS an ultimatum.
Fortunately we managed to stuff them both into the same box which they didn't like.
Pickfords moved us and when we thought they'd finished they said that there was still a chest of drawers and a chair on the lorry. I couldn't think what they meant. It turned out that they were things which my Mum had left me which we don't have any room for and which our friend had offered to store for me. She'd told the removal men that we were very fogertful people and had forgotten them, so please could they bring them. I was really upset because I felt that I was going to lose them because we have nowhere to put them, our flat is very small. When we eventually move out of London we WILL have room for them. After a bit of a barney and a lot of discussion the men agreed to take them into Pickford's storage. We were very lucky that they were decent men. At least they'll be safe there and I can get them moved elsewhere (down in Devon, miles away) until we can take them. She had NEVER said anything about wanting those items out and again I had said to her that if she wanted them moved I would arrange it.
I feel that all the stresses that she'd been under had come together and landed on us. The insurers paid her for putting us up at the going rate for a one bedroom flat so financially she's done quite well out of it.
J wants nothing more to do with her. It's more difficult for me because I feel that I have some understanding of why she behaved as she did and she goes to the same Quaker meeting as me. Maybe now we've gone she'll be able to relax and calm down a bit. Overall though it felt as though she wanted to get rid of every last trace of us. She lives alone in a detached house and I don't know if she'd ever shared space with anyone else since she was a child. To make it work you have to be honest and straightforward with each other. I think that when I see her I'll say hello and leave it entirely at that.
:scratcheshead:
 
Fedup

Fedup

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 18, 2007
Messages
1,937
Welcome back Isobel :)
 
Libra1

Libra1

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
515
Location
West Midlands
Hi Isobel, its nice to see you back(y)

At least now you can be a bit more relaxed etc in your own place :)
 
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