• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Holiday fear taking over every thought

M

munki

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
9
I have literally stumbled upon this forum but I have no idea if I fully fit into this area. My issue has been that of anxiety since I was 14. It started with an eating disorder and then the anxiety disorder kicked in. I take Efexor and am 39 years old. I live a fairly normal life but my training in in acting which got me thinking about what you say about role playing. I'm currently doing a Psychology degree as a mature student.

I'm going away with my husband snowboarding for the first time ever in Feb and I'm starting to think about every eventuality. My husband is already very good and I'm rubbish. As a result I'm part dreading it as I feel like an idiot. Now, I know my husband doesn't judge me but I compare myself to other girls he knows who are amazing too. I almost want to cancel for this reason. I feel like I'm about to sit an exam rather than go on holiday.

I have suffered with social anxiety previously.

This is ruining my life and at 39 I just want to be able to look forward to something rather than dread it. Does this sound familiar?
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
34,892
Location
Mordor
I am not much good at those types of sports - most sports in fact as an adult. I am 40. If I was in your shoes, I would probably spend time 'off-piste' - watching movies and eating.

Can you make your excuses and retire gracefully to the lounge areas?
 
M

munki

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
9
Well the mad thing is that I adore sports. I workout 4/5 times a week. So, I'm part excited and part terrified. It's a really horrid emotion that just takes over now and again and I really want to try and combat it :(
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
34,892
Location
Mordor
hahah well you will probably be okay. It is holiday, so as long as you are having fun, dont worry about it.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
So is your fear around the fact that you've never snowboarded before?
I am assuming your husband is aware that this is your first time trying it?

It's understandable to be a bit nervous about it all.
But as i'm sure you may know, the fear of doing something is often far worse than actually doing it.
I bet that once you get the hang of it, you'll really enjoy yourself. I know that's not much of a consolation at this precise point in time.

One technique i've read is to try and convinced yourself when you feel the physical feelings of fear or nervousness that you are in fact excited.
The fear/excitement response in our bodies are pretty much identical - the only thing that makes one unbearable and the other more positive is the content of our thoughts.
It may not work, but I do think it's worth a go.
 
pepecat

pepecat

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2010
Messages
13,913
Location
middle earth
Are there specifics that you're worried about, or is it more general anxiety about going somewhere you've not been before?
 
M

munki

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
9
Somersetscorpio, that is really great advice. Simple but something I feel I can try. I think it's something new, yes and the unknown. Being out of control? I don't know. Anticipatory fear, it's horrendous. Then I start to dread the anticipation !!
 
G

getnitroburn

New member
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
2
Can you make your excuses and retire gracefully to the lounge areas?
 
M

munki

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
9
Thanks for the replies, guys. Much appreciated. I do want to snowboard, it excites me greatly. My fear is of anticipatory anxiety. Each time I go away I start to feel very dark and anxious prior to going making it a haunting experience. What I fear, I couldn't tell you. As soon as I'm there I'm fine. I'm not a shy, retiring type. I can be the entertainment when I'm on form (no arrogance at all there :))

So far I've been able to tell myself that I'm excited which I am! However, I keep getting the little voice telling me it's all going to get dark soon before I go. I think I need the reassurance to trust that my thoughts are lying to me. You know people tell you to read signs, follow your gut etc? As an anxiety sufferer it's hard to know which is a lying, intrusive thought and which is a gut instinct! How do we do this? I might start a thread on that alone as it's an interesting topic.
 
DrHouston

DrHouston

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2015
Messages
9
I have literally stumbled upon this forum but I have no idea if I fully fit into this area. My issue has been that of anxiety since I was 14. It started with an eating disorder and then the anxiety disorder kicked in. I take Efexor and am 39 years old. I live a fairly normal life but my training in in acting which got me thinking about what you say about role playing. I'm currently doing a Psychology degree as a mature student.

I'm going away with my husband snowboarding for the first time ever in Feb and I'm starting to think about every eventuality. My husband is already very good and I'm rubbish. As a result I'm part dreading it as I feel like an idiot. Now, I know my husband doesn't judge me but I compare myself to other girls he knows who are amazing too. I almost want to cancel for this reason. I feel like I'm about to sit an exam rather than go on holiday.

I have suffered with social anxiety previously.

This is ruining my life and at 39 I just want to be able to look forward to something rather than dread it. Does this sound familiar?
- At 39, I am sure you are an accomplished woman! And since you're going to school, you clearly are taking steps towards learning what you want. Going on an awesome vacation and having a healthy relationship with your husband clearly means he values you as his soulmate. I don't see why you should consider yourself any lesser if you're not good with one small activity! This is like an F1 driver saying sure I can drive this ferrari well, but I don't know how the radio in this car works so I feel like an idiot :p

- I say, don't care about good others are or are not at that sport. Just think, how would you approach this sport if there was no one around? If you would enjoy it in a carefree manner, then go for it! Even if you keep falling bruising yourself, you'd still be having fun, and your husband would like that (i.e. his wife having a ton of fun) a lot more than those other expert ladies!

Have a great vacation!
 
Top