holiday depression..

[womble69]

Hi

Just chanced across the forum and was wondering if anyone could help with what i see as a bit of an unusual problem.

I'm currently 47 and i had really bad depression through my late teens/early 20's. Since meeting my wife nearly 20 years ago i've been pretty much ok, with the odd dip, but nothing that i couldn't bounce back from. However the area where i do have problems is holidays. I don't mean post holiday blues, it's actually when on holiday be it at home or abroad. I've been off work this week and have been bursting into tears for no reason, had no energy and last night i went to bed actually hoping that i wouldn't wake up this morning!!

Most folk recharge their batteries on holidays and might get down when they go back to work, but not me! It's got to a point where i fear taking time off work but this is not sitting very well with my wife, which of course is getting me even more down.

Don't really want to go to the GP as i fear all they'll do is fob me off with some pills, and i don't really want to go down that road again..

 

[Sugar Coated Owl]

Do you make plans for what you and your wife can do during your time off work? Perhaps it's because when you're working your mind is being kept occupied all the time. I generally find sitting around doing nothing makes me more depressed.

 

[Micky]

I agree that sitting around doing nothing makes me severely depressed and makes me think of all negative thoughts and ways to kill myself or use self harm. However, If I'm emotionally exhausted then I don't mind taking a few anxiety tablets and couching around for the day watching movies/listening to music/talking on the phone ect....

 

[womble69]

Thanks for the replies.

During the week i've tried to keep busy but the depression seems to have crept up on me as time has worn on. It got to a point that i had no energy and no desire to do anything other than lie down and feel sorry for myself.

Strangely though as i'm back at work on Monday and that is now almost upon me i'm starting to feel a little more relaxed.

 

[Micky]

The working week helps me a lot so it must for you too. I seem to struggle mainly in holidays and weekends because of all the spare time the mind has to think of everything

I do wonder other things to help with this problem though... I take anxiety tablets when I get bad but really should be doing something other then medication..

 

[Ben]

Hi,
Sorry to hear you feel so heavy, till the level sometimes you don't wish to wake up in the morning. i know what you talk about. Even though from the outside my life looks perfect there are days I just don't know how to move on with my life.

It is perfectly normal it comes up in free time. Like the others said already, loads of time to think, no job or too much obligations keeping you busy.

I fully agree, don't jump to pills. I did last year and it killed half of our intimate sexual relationship and all most all of the rest of our relationship. My wife was worried and we were not sure we'd make it. Thank god I'm after pills now and will never ever go back there.

What helped me was reading a book of Paul Servan Schreiber, a french psychiatrist, that offers several ways to get out of this feeling. Varying from sport to meditation until alternative therapies. If you wish you could of course try to get to a serious therapist (an anti pill one I would recommend) and try to figure out where these depression comes from and how to get over it really. I'm sure it's there as well on your working days, you just don't have to face it since you are occupied by something else.

Wish you good luck, you and your wife. Stay close if you can, she can be a great support.

All the best,