• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Holding down a job issues

N

NonCompatible

New member
Joined
Mar 29, 2019
Messages
3
Location
UK
Does anyone have issues being able to hold down a job?
For example, ill be doing really well and enjoying the job when i first start then after 3 days or so, something goes slightly wrong or i have a slight disagreement with someone and then I tumble in a deep depression and isolate myself, ring the job and tell them ill no longer be working there. This has happened to me right from when I left school and I am damn sick of it!
 
Mixxy

Mixxy

Active member
Joined
Mar 26, 2019
Messages
43
Location
Uk
I’ve had numerous jobs. Starts well then people happen 🙈

I worked so hard to get my current job but I’m now signed off sick. I’m so anxious about getting back to work but I’m not well enough right now
 
Lostinthestatic

Lostinthestatic

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2019
Messages
144
Location
New york
The longest I kept a job was 7 months, which was amazing. Usually it lasts a month or two, three at most. It’s just like you said, some little thing happens and it all crumbles. For me, it feels like the job is “stained”. Was perfect, even if it really wasn’t—but as soon as there’s a stumble I’m over it.

I only quit one job. The rest I have left without a word, I just stop showing up one day and I ignore their calls. Usually what follows is a long depression and period of isolation. I become afraid of seeing coworkers and bosses on the street... and I live in a busy city, so it’s easy to mistake someone for someone else. Add to the fact that I actually have seen old coworkers around before.

I often try to guilt myself into staying, which works for a while until it doesn’t.
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
5,868
Location
hiding behind the sofa
I was lucky in my employment especially the last one. I was there 12 years but had on average three months a year off sick. Finally I spent six years on sick and they kept my job open all that time, fortunately I had health insurance thru the company so that paid most of my wages. Eventually they offered me a good redundancy package to leave.

It all depends on the company that you work for if they’ll keep letting you have time off sick
 
N

NonCompatible

New member
Joined
Mar 29, 2019
Messages
3
Location
UK
The longest I kept a job was 7 months, which was amazing. Usually it lasts a month or two, three at most. It’s just like you said, some little thing happens and it all crumbles. For me, it feels like the job is “stained”. Was perfect, even if it really wasn’t—but as soon as there’s a stumble I’m over it.

I only quit one job. The rest I have left without a word, I just stop showing up one day and I ignore their calls. Usually what follows is a long depression and period of isolation. I become afraid of seeing coworkers and bosses on the street... and I live in a busy city, so it’s easy to mistake someone for someone else. Add to the fact that I actually have seen old coworkers around before.

I often try to guilt myself into staying, which works for a while until it doesn’t.


That sounds exactly like it is for me.
 
Luci

Luci

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 15, 2019
Messages
501
Location
England
I've been lucky to hold down decent jobs since leaving uni, my record is 3 years. I had a gap of about 2 years in between jobs and have my shortest role was 4 months.

When it comes to working I'm great, interested in my role, productive, helpful, my record keeping is immaculate.... then its either a situation I dont agree with, injustice or lack of professionalism and good practise.... I either loose respect for my seniors or my co workers and leave.... only one I haven't left was a fixed term contract which I was made redundant from after an extension of 9 months. If I could handle relationships better and stopped trying to fix all the injustice in the world I might manage better....
 
S

SilverSyren

New member
Joined
Apr 1, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Hampshire, UK
I was exactly the same. I'm 31, and I've had about 26 jobs since I was 16. It's gotten easier as time has gone on and I've been in my current role for just over two years now (one of my longest jobs, although I've been with the same organisation for four years which for me is an amazing achievement).

The thing that has helped me the most is being honest with my manager about what's going on with the BPD. I couldn't tell anyone for the start of my twenties as I didn't know I had it, and like you, I just left as soon as a job didn't feel right or that I wasn't good enough any more.

Things got SO much easier once I shared what was happening, the guilt lifted and my manager was really supportive. In fact the last three managers I've discussed it with have been helpful. Even if they weren't though, there are policies in place to help those with mental health difficulties.

I still have really rough days though, today being one of them and I feel like I'll be taking time off again tomorrow, and yes I still feel the massive guilt - but I know I'll recover quicker.
 
megirl

megirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
7,203
Location
NZ
I've lasted in my jobs about 7 years, seems to be my pattern, so I've done well really. I've been fortunate to have had supportive environments to work in.
I know here there are obligations of workplaces to offer support to people with different health issues
 
K

Kayleebipo

Member
Joined
Apr 3, 2019
Messages
17
Location
Manchester
I've had many Jobs but none lasting longer than a few months. As soon as I hit a problem at work I run away. I do this with family friends and relationships to. I cant seem to handle any type of criticism and I feel like everyone is plotting against me and that they dont like me. I feel really bad about all of this but it's the way I am.
 
4EVRHSP

4EVRHSP

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 11, 2019
Messages
64
Location
...
To everyone who's just posted....

What would you guys WISH you could've done different ( if there was a choice, I know some workplaces are literally beyond hope and you just have to leave ) looking back at the jobs that you left?
 
R

Rcfisher

Member
Joined
Jul 18, 2017
Messages
14
I'm almost 42, the longest job I've had would be almost a year, the shortest is about ten minutes. I go into a job loving it, but at some point the job is tainted either by myself or through someone else's actions, I have quit a few jobs, but mainly just either walk off or don't go in again. I then ignore them and it's true I live in a very small town and frequently avoid others I have worked with or don't go into businesses I have previously worked in.

What would I have done differently? Well in hindsight I'd have sought help years ago.

Just over two weeks off olanzapine, no adverse effects, not constantly hungry and lost weight.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,246
I think our minds get the better of us at times. I have had those incidents when I either do something embarrassing or make a mistake, and traditionally I would flee, because it was harder or too unbearable to stay.

Then about my mid-30s I forced myself to stay after one such incident. It took everything in me to not run away, because the pain and humiliation was unbearable. Turns out it was bigger in my mind than to any of my colleagues. And then it got better at work.

I’m now on the opposite side of the spectrum, where the job is my sole identity. I’m productive, I overachieve in everything I deliver, and it satisfies the social element I otherwise would not get because of social anxiety. For some reason, for me, if it’s in a professional capacity, a task that needs to be done, the interaction is not as daunting.

That said, I recognize it’s not healthy. Something happens to the job, as it has in the past with layoffs, and I lose my identity, and then there’s a massive fallout. Eggs in one basket is never a good idea.

But I can tell you that if you hang in there after any first incident, it builds resiliency, and for me, the job gives me stability ... a purpose.
 
G

guitar1991

Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2018
Messages
7
I've just written a post about this ! I'm really struggeling myself . In my last job I made one mistake and quit ! I also quit after getting told off for something and immediately think I'm useless and I shouldn't continue . It's so hard especially when you have financial responsibilities. It can be such a struggle . I really really want to quit my new job now . I feel so useless and and not valued
 
liliesofthefield

liliesofthefield

Active member
Joined
Apr 7, 2019
Messages
44
Location
Arkansas
The longest I've held down a job was probably 4 years. I have BPD and really debilitating anxiety. Every day I would sit at my desk and worry about my boss talking to me or anyone approaching me for anything. I'd make up scenarios in my head all day about how I might have failed at something and how I could be confronted that day. Every day at 5pm I experienced so much relief to go home (just to have anxiety about the drive home and road safety).
 
Top