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HOCD OR GAY??

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Narcissist714

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If a guy is straight and has ocd he would have doubts and worry that he’s gay. If a guy is gay and has ocd he would have doubts and worry that he’s straight.

You already know this is ocd tricking you but you’re just looking for reassurance. You said you reached a point where you’re no longer sure of anything. That’s ocd right there. You always want to be sure of everything that you value. You need perfect certainty. You have a girlfriend but that’s still not enough to feel certain. You have clear moments where you know you’re not gay but then that’s still not enough. It’s never enough because you constantly ruminate about it. The more you ruminate, the more ocd causes you to doubt.
 
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poliski

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you're no necessarily gay. it is your choice. As with a person who wants to be gay, it is his choice. so if you dont want to be gay, you should not be. Coming to your questions , sometimes it is a the situation a man going through where in his subconscious he wants to overpower or he wants some one to overpower him. sometimes a man wants a close friend and he since he cant get him , he fantasize him. that has happened to many. Your doing ERP is a good idea. you'll figure out. dont make others make a choice for your forcefully.
 
Mikrokosmos

Mikrokosmos

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If a guy is straight and has ocd he would have doubts and worry that he’s gay. If a guy is gay and has ocd he would have doubts and worry that he’s straight.
Definetely. Great post narcissist714.

I observe in my case, that OCD symptoms are weaker when I am stop to thinking too much and I am stop have excessive doubts about everything around me.

I think that symptoms like those described in that thread may be common in the cases of strongly rational personalities with tendency to overthinking and overanalysing.

@Endexo It is possible that you percieve your external live circumstances as... a bit boring? Be honest

cheers.
 
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Endexo

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It's a fact that I often ask myself why I am born in the world and I often don't really know what to do with myself and my time
 
00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

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I do deep breathing excerises when I over think about situations that seem unfair. Its unfair to put labels on others, which I can see you did not. But sometimes you have to have an open heart. This will break all stopped emotions and take those feelings higher. This could make you feel uncomfortable and maybe would need some self reassurance. Its wonderful you're fully aware of what you want sexually. It's a good trait to have now a days. Stay positive. I don't believe you have OCD but if you get "freaked out" enough you could develope anxiety.

Stay calm N multiply those positive feelings.
 
K

khuang

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you're no necessarily gay. it is your choice. As with a person who wants to be gay, it is his choice. so if you dont want to be gay, you should not be. Coming to your questions , sometimes it is a the situation a man going through where in his subconscious he wants to overpower or he wants some one to overpower him. sometimes a man wants a close friend and he since he cant get him , he fantasize him. that has happened to many. Your doing ERP is a good idea. you'll figure out. dont make others make a choice for your forcefully.
I hate to argue with you, especially on this topic, but being gay isn’t a “choice.” LGBTQ+ people are often persecuted for their sexuality. Who would want to choose to be called names, have people literally screaming at them and telling them that they are “going to Hell for being gay,” or be denied service by a family owned business just for being gay? Do you really think any of us wants that? Did you choose to be the gender or sexuality that you are? I’m sorry but you believed in what the right wing Christians have been saying for decades and needed a wake up call. Being gay definitely isn’t a “choice” and the damaging effects of conversion therapy proves it.
 
00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

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I hate to argue with you, especially on this topic, but being gay isn’t a “choice.” LGBTQ+ people are often persecuted for their sexuality. Who would want to choose to be called names, have people literally screaming at them and telling them that they are “going to Hell for being gay,” or be denied service by a family owned business just for being gay? Do you really think any of us wants that? Did you choose to be the gender or sexuality that you are? I’m sorry but you believed in what the right wing Christians have been saying for decades and needed a wake up call. Being gay definitely isn’t a “choice” and the damaging effects of conversion therapy proves it.
It's not fair to put labels on others but yes sometimes these things happen. Sometimes it happens over silly things or even overly sensitive type situations. There are a lot of disabled people and other people who have suffered discrimination or understand about being sheltered or being shut out because of a belief system or as you say it "something that was not a choice".
Judgement is still not feasible to use against anyone. Especially if it wasn't a choice.

I'm not into reforming the public or taking away freedoms. That's for the politicians and people who are able to protect us.


Be happy with yourself and make a change. You are you!
 
Mikrokosmos

Mikrokosmos

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I often don't really know what to do with myself and my time
Exactly. I am also, and for me the best way to get rid intrusive thoughts is to find something what have sense to do.

I think, that the disscusion about literally being a gay isn't accurate. Let's spot, that If in this thread the topic of intrusive thoughts would be about 'being killer', 'being possessed by satan' etc. It would be no difference. It seems to me that we have the just the times when the topic of LGBT is... popular.

I had in my life as extreme, and sometimes totally absurdal topics of OCD, that gives me the accurate perception, that we rather should try to undertand mechanism of OCD than be focused of current one from the possible topics of that thoughts.

If I would try to deeply analyse the topics of my intrusive thoughts I should be in prison to the end of my life. If we'd base on way of thinking "your intrusive thoughts are the truth about you". It's dangerous.
 
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Endexo

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Yes, the stupid thing is that no matter how I try to distract myself, this fear is always present.

I have often had to deal with others (I call it ocd). I'm generally a bit scared. I was scared of death at the age of 12 or so. I just don't know if they were ocd or just thoughts. What I do know is that I also struggled with it for a while. Or even so, I am always afraid that I (if I see changes in my body that are not "normal") that I am terminally ill. I was afraid that I had MS or all kinds of tumors.

I think I should seek therapy with a therapist and not look for confirmation in forums. (Signs of a compulsion ???)

Thanks for all the answers.
 
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Zoe1

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I was abused by someone of my own gender at an early age
which has made me a bit HOCD
although I dont show that outwardly
not to offend people
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Even if I now see male bodies that are very trained. I honestly have to say it's not that I don't feel anything, but I'm not sure about the feelings I have are the same gay persons have or whether it's just the feeling of "hey, looks good. I want to be like him. "
In my opinion the media/film industry etc. depicts most male "role models" as being muscular/fit these days. Role models are there for people to aspire to be like. That's a world apart from finding them physically attractive...
I think you already mentioned that the real issue here is the intrusive thoughts which you are finding it hard to dismiss. Hopefully the above gives some clarity. If you have found there is a pattern developing where you are finding it hard to just dismiss these rediuclous intrusive thoughts (irrespective of their nature/topic), it might be a idea to devise a strategy for just dismissing them as soon as they enter your head, and turn your thoughts to more pleasant and rewarding things. Hope this helps :)
 
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eic8sujdnekpz8sn

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Hello community, at first sorry for my bad english. Anyway, I hope you understand my problems.
I'm 23 and Male and I've got ab big problem.
I'm afraid of being gay. It feels like OCD because I really think about it 24/7 and I'm just scared all the time. When I was 16 I had exactly the same thoughts. It started with a classmate "outing" himself at the time, which later turned out to be fun. Before, I never thought about being gay. But that evening it was like something that burned into my brain and I was terrified of it. I visited therapists who told me that I could be gay and that it wasn't bad, but THAT was THAT I didn't want to hear. Back then I checked whether I found my friends or other boys attractive. It was never really my case to be gay no matter how hard I tried and so it was never mine. One day I startet to ask myself, what I really want. I asked myself the questions that were in my head because I really couldn't anymore. And in the end it was clear that I am not gay.
I was calm for 5 years, maybe here and there a few questions to which I found answers quickly. After being burdened with it for almost 2 years. And now it came back 6 weeks ago ...
I and my girlfriend watched a series in which a transsexual plays. I don't know why but suddenly my thoughts came back. It's not that I found him sexually arousing. But something about the situation brought me back into my thoughts. Now I'm thinking all the time about whether I could be gay or not. I felt like I read all the forums. I also read about ERP and started "treating myself". I have had some success. But now I have reached the point where I am no longer sure of anything.
I don't know if it's fear or anything, but when I see a woman where I am 100% sure that I have been aroused earlier, I feel fear and I don't feel attracted.
Even if I now see male bodies that are very trained. I honestly have to say it's not that I don't feel anything, but I'm not sure about the feelings I have are the same gay persons have or whether it's just the feeling of "hey, looks good. I want to be like him. "
In "clear moments" I know 100% that I'm not gay. But nevertheless from one moment to the next this "clarity" can disappear again and self-doubts arise again.
I admit I was never particularly enthusiastic about the LGBT community, but I learned from this ERP that it is not a bad thing. I don't want to annoy anyone or anything with my statement but for me it would just be horror to be gay. I want to get my attraction back to women and be sure that I don't find men as attractive as I did with women. I want to get my attraction back to women and be sure that I don't find men as attractive as I did with women.
I totally understand what ur saying when u say u have a fear of being gay. This doesn't mean it's internalized homophobia and it doesn't mean denial. Is it like, you were never gay and u always knew that u were straight, but being gay just doesn't seem u. It just doesnt look like who u r, and you're afraid of not knowing who u r. This is okay! This is a part of ocd! Do u do compluseions or 'rituals' to try to feel better again? I suggest getting a therapist who's experted in ocd, or especially hocd. U can try to look for ones online. I hope this helps!
 
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oliviaglue

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Hello, I’ve just read you post and I felt so released. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I am suffering unter the same thoughts and I am a female. I am in therapy and was diagnosed with HOCD. Do not listen to those who tell you, you are in denial, it’s like food for your intrusive thoughts. You are not alone, there are many other people experiencing the same. I am very sorry for you that you are going through such a ruff time, and I hope you’ll find your way to handle and to live with those thoughts. Best regards :)
 
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ddjaz0

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Jun 23, 2015
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fear that youre gay is in no way related to being gay. being gay is good, ie - you LIKE a man, not anxiety and so on
 
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