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Hocd or bi? Please help



New member
Oct 24, 2017
Hi everyone, I have recently been going through a really tough couple of weeks with anxiety. I’ve always been an anxious person and I have had hypochondria in the past, obsessed with worries I have cancer or their illnesses.

Recently my worries has focused on being gay, or what if I’m gay. I’d like to clarify that I am in a straight long term relationship, we’re about to move in together and I feel genuinely emotionally connected to him and I love him, so this is very distressing. He knows about these thoughts and says he loves me no matter what and if I was gay we’d remain best friends. I’m very lucky.

I’ve been reading about hocd and it seems to fit how I feel exactly. The testing if I’m gay, the constant worry, the distress. I can remember the day that these worries exploded and haven’t gone away since. I feel genuinely straight and have always fancied men and never wanted to do anything with a woman in real life. I feel myself with men and my future with my boyfriend and not with women. Sounds like classic hocd. However, on these websites it says hocd means never having had pleasurable same sex thoughts/turn Ons. But I have. One of my ‘go to’ fantasies involves same sex activities. These have made me think before about whether I’m gay and o always felt totally fine about being bisexual but I never felt gay and never worriedly like this. I have always felt straight and been in straight relationships. But does his mean its hocd or I’m gay ? I’m so miserable with it all at the moment and Any advice would be great.



Well-known member
Jan 5, 2011
hiya Anxiousee and :welcome: to the forum. What is hocd? I'm not clear on this. As for being straight, bi or gay, I would say you answered your own question. You see yourself as straight in most circumstances but not all. I think all of us are on a continuum and none of us is wholly one thing or another. I think its very common to have fantasies of all sorts and I personally wouldn't worry on this score. Its the person you fall in love with and not necessarily their gender. I hope that helps somewhat.
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