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HOCD into something else? Help please

C

canadian44

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Oct 20, 2021
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Canada
Hi everyone,

I’ll just dive right into it. Back about 10 years ago, I had my first and only bout of what now I know is HOCD. I for whatever reason, became terrified of the thought of being gay and was scared for weeks. I eventually dealt with it, realized I wasn't gay, and came to the consensus that there was nothing to be scared of because I know I wasn’t.

Ever since that incident, every few months or so I randomly will get scared that the feelings I felt then will come back, and I start ruminating and trying to solve why I’m scared. Not feelings of thinking I'm gay, feelings of that awful rumination and hopelessness I felt then. I know for a fact i’m not gay, and that thought has never entered my mind since. I’m just scared of ruminating like I did then, and then it feels like I get caught in a cycle of being scared of ruminating of what I felt then?

I don't even know if it makes sense, but just looking for some help or if anyone has any insight they could help me with.

Thanks
 
B

BlueWater

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Jul 29, 2021
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When you are ruminating, practice sensory exercises. What do you see, hear, touch, taste, smell? Make a mental list of various things for each subject, or ever better write them down. Another option is distractions such as hobbies or chores. Still another is journaling your thoughts to get them out of your head. When all else fails, ask for a medicine to calm your rumination.
 
C

canadian44

New member
Joined
Oct 20, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Canada
Thank you for this! I appreciate you taking the time to reply and help me out.

Is it normal to be scared of rumination and those feelings it brings? Not being able to enjoy life being one of them.
 
B

BlueWater

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Thank you for this! I appreciate you taking the time to reply and help me out.

Is it normal to be scared of rumination and those feelings it brings? Not being able to enjoy life being one of them.
Yes. That's where therapy and meds will help you.
 
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